Author Topic: Blurb help, please?  (Read 796 times)  

Offline beccaprice

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Blurb help, please?
« on: January 28, 2014, 09:36:58 AM »
I'm finally getting Heart of Rock into shape where I can publish it.  I should be getting the final graphics in a few weeks, so I can do both eformat and paper layout. Now... I need a good blurb.

I have several attempts in folder, but this is the one I like best - but I still think it needs improving.




Once upon a distant time, wizards carved hideous gargoyles, and gifted them with life with the talisman, the Heart of Rock. And once upon a time a few hundred years later, a brave cobbler sought the Heart of Rock to save his kingdom from invaders.  But, without the Heart of Rock, the Gargoyles cannot live.

Two kingdoms in crisis. Two heroes. One amulet.

"Heart of Rock" is three interconnected stories that show both sides of a quest story. When one quest finds a magical amulet, what happens to the people who lose it?
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Offline teashopgirl

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Re: Blurb help, please?
« Reply #1 on: January 28, 2014, 09:50:12 AM »
I would make the blurb longer if you can. Is there a way to beef it up to around 400 words?

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Offline Hudson Owen

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Re: Blurb help, please?
« Reply #2 on: January 28, 2014, 10:03:29 AM »
If this is for younger readers, it sounds like a quiz with the last question.  I think you need to say more about the hideous gargoyles and why we should care about them.  Also, more about the wizards.  I would stick to the formula Once upon a time, and only use it once.  "Once upon a time, wizards...Hundreds of years later..."  Be specific about the time.  "Five hundred years later..."

Just few quick thoughts.

Offline beccaprice

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Re: Blurb help, please?
« Reply #3 on: January 28, 2014, 10:57:45 AM »
yeah, this is for maybe 6 or 7-10 yos.

Other blurb possibilities include:

Once upon a time, wizards carved hideous gargoyles and brought them to life to drive away their enemies. Years pass and the time comes when a brave cobbler must seek out the Heart of Rock to save his kingdom, but by doing so he puts the gargoyle kingdom into crisis, for the gargoyles cannot live without their talisman.

Why 400 words? I thought that blurbs should be short and concise? that's what the DWS class on blurbs said.

Each "chapter" is about 1500 words long, so even though this is a "chapter" book, it's very short.


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Offline Hudson Owen

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Re: Blurb help, please?
« Reply #4 on: January 28, 2014, 01:43:24 PM »
yeah, this is for maybe 6 or 7-10 yos.

Other blurb possibilities include:

Once upon a time, wizards carved hideous gargoyles and brought them to life to drive away their enemies. Years pass and the time comes when a brave cobbler must seek out the Heart of Rock to save his kingdom, but by doing so he puts the gargoyle kingdom into crisis, for the gargoyles cannot live without their talisman.

Why 400 words? I thought that blurbs should be short and concise? that's what the DWS class on blurbs said.

Each "chapter" is about 1500 words long, so even though this is a "chapter" book, it's very short.




The new blurb is better.  You know from experience how much you need to tell to sell the story to mom, the purchaser.  Four hundred words would be suitable for the synopsis of a screenplay you placed online.  Personally, I would not write a blurb for an e-book more than half that length.

Offline beccaprice

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Re: Blurb help, please?
« Reply #5 on: January 28, 2014, 03:07:23 PM »
let's try this:

Two kingdoms in crisis. Two opposing heroes. One magical amulet.

Once upon a time, wizards carved hideous gargoyles and brought them to life with the amulet men called the Heart of Rock,  to drive away their enemies, the Nightmares. Years pass and the time comes when a brave cobbler must seek out the Heart of Rock to save his kingdom, but by doing so he puts the gargoyle kingdom into crisis, for the gargoyles cannot live without their talisman.


It needs a good punchy end sentence, and the first sentence after the tag line is awfully convoluted. Can someone help me simplify?
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Offline beccaprice

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Re: Blurb help, please?
« Reply #6 on: January 29, 2014, 10:56:52 AM »
are people not in a blurby mood today? I've noticed that a number of requets for blurb help have drifted to page 3 or further back.  Should I try again later when there aren't firefights going on in other threads?
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