Author Topic: Can't we all live in harmony?  (Read 5528 times)  

Offline JV

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Can't we all live in harmony?
« on: February 08, 2014, 10:17:13 AM »
Kboards has been a bit more hostile, it seems, these past few weeks. I've seen it mentioned by others, and it's definitely in the air. It doesn't seem to be towards anyone in particular, it's a just a tone that the threads have taken.

We're all writers/authors (or we're aspiring to be such). Shouldn't that be a common bond? But, instead, it often seems like we're different sects of a single religion all fighting over who has the right outlook on God. Shouldn't we just settle on the fact that we love God (metaphorically speaking), throw the chips in the air, and let them fall where they may?

Self-Published or Traditionally Published...who cares...there's a big enough pond for ALL of us. There's no right way to do it. You homeschool and I prefer public school, so what (another metaphor, forgive me).

A lot of the posts have stopped being helpful advice and personal opinions and have instead become rather combative in nature. It makes it uncomfortable. It makes one hesitate before hitting that post button, you end up asking yourself, "Is it worth the possible grief?" It shouldn't be that way. I came here because I heard it was one of the friendliest writing communities in the whole world wide web. And it was. But, not so much, lately.

Bottom line...I miss you writers cafe...come back...

Online Lydniz

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Re: Can't we all live in harmony?
« Reply #1 on: February 08, 2014, 10:19:29 AM »
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ib-Qiyklq-Q" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ib-Qiyklq-Q</a>

 ;D

Offline JV

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Re: Can't we all live in harmony?
« Reply #2 on: February 08, 2014, 10:20:25 AM »
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ib-Qiyklq-Q" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ib-Qiyklq-Q</a>

 ;D

Perfect!

Offline Boyd

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Re: Can't we all live in harmony?
« Reply #3 on: February 08, 2014, 11:18:11 AM »
Kboards has been a bit more hostile, it seems, these past few weeks. I've seen it mentioned by others, and it's definitely in the air. It doesn't seem to be towards anyone in particular, it's a just a tone that the threads have taken. A lot of the posts have stopped being helpful advice and personal opinions and have instead become rather combative in nature.

Bottom line...I miss you writers cafe...come back...

But it is directed at particular people... by certain people. 

It's like economic terrorism.

I hope things get back to normal soon.

Boyd Craven

Offline elalond

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Re: Can't we all live in harmony?
« Reply #4 on: February 08, 2014, 11:33:49 AM »
I have to admit I don't feel any hostility on KB. There was a little hostility toward the articles that have been taking swings at self-publishing, calling all writers cows and similar, but according to the rage that happened at similar articles in a year or two back, the reaction of KB members was now quite meek. I'm also surprised to read about your Self-Published or Traditionally Published...who cares...there's a big enough pond for ALL of us. There's no right way to do it. especially since people here are always first to congratulate when somebody signs a contract with a trade-publisher.

Online dgrant

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Re: Can't we all live in harmony?
« Reply #5 on: February 08, 2014, 11:41:20 AM »
But.. I can't hold a pitch. Or a tune. Please, can't I just stand in the back and clap?

Peter Grant & Now me too!

Offline Kathelm

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Re: Can't we all live in harmony?
« Reply #6 on: February 08, 2014, 11:44:18 AM »
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ib-Qiyklq-Q" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ib-Qiyklq-Q</a>

 ;D

How dare you post a Coca Cola video after what they pulled at the Super Bowl?

Wait...OP wants us to be less combative.  Sorry.



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Online Lydniz

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Re: Can't we all live in harmony?
« Reply #7 on: February 08, 2014, 11:47:03 AM »
How dare you post a Coca Cola video after what they pulled at the Super Bowl?

Wait...OP wants us to be less combative.  Sorry.

Heh heh. I Breetish. I no speak Superbowl.

Offline Lloyd MacRae

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Re: Can't we all live in harmony?
« Reply #8 on: February 08, 2014, 11:52:44 AM »
As long as it's not eHarmony...I already have enough online stalkers.


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Online Ann in Arlington

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Re: Can't we all live in harmony?
« Reply #9 on: February 08, 2014, 11:57:30 AM »
PLEASE: if there are specific posts which are attacking people -- in general or in particular -- REPORT THEM! :o :o :o

Betsy and I CAN NOT read every post of every thread.  We rely on you to alert us to where there might be problems.  We're not going to automatically ban people or anything for transgressions, but we do review every report and will take corrective action where needed.  We may edit posts; we may delete posts.  We may do nothing.  But we pay attention to EVERY REPORT.  I promise.

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Offline Greg Strandberg

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Re: Can't we all live in harmony?
« Reply #10 on: February 08, 2014, 12:07:02 PM »
Haven't heard much about the need for authors to have a thick skin lately.  Is it a thin skin week? 

There are other professions where people won't dissect your work and give you an honest opinion.  If you don't want the world to talk, don't show it to 'em.

I'm sure many people you read about in the newspaper weren't too happy about the stories on them, but guess what, it's news and others have the right to write it, just as you have the right to read it or not.

By challenging people you make them think.  Sometimes that's rough, but it's often the best way to learn fast and grow. 

Have a thick skin and a tender heart, and buy a dog.


Offline Becca Mills

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Re: Can't we all live in harmony?
« Reply #11 on: February 08, 2014, 12:10:58 PM »
PLEASE: if there are specific posts which are attacking people -- in general or in particular -- REPORT THEM! :o :o :o

Betsy and I CAN NOT read every post of every thread.  We rely on you to alert us to where there might be problems.  We're not going to automatically ban people or anything for transgressions, but we do review every report and will take corrective action where needed.  We may edit posts; we may delete posts.  We may do nothing.  But we pay attention to EVERY REPORT.  I promise.

We know you guys do a great job. The heart of the problem seems to be vengeance taken off the board, where you guys can't do anything about it (review attacks, blog attacks).




Offline jlmarten

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Re: Can't we all live in harmony?
« Reply #12 on: February 08, 2014, 12:13:03 PM »
I've noticed a bit more pith in responses overall than what I would call normal for KB. The whole trad vs. self-pub thing reminds me of the Canon vs. Nikon argument in professional photography. I spent a number of years as a commercial photographer and heard it all the time. The difference being, few had a vested interest (other than using a particular model) in which came out on top.

In the nearly two years I've frequented KB, I've learned a ton and feel nothing but gratitude for those of you wiser and more experienced than I who have shared. I'd hate to see KB spiral down to the level of many on-line forums where people spew vitriolic meanness all the time.

Offline Kalypso

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Re: Can't we all live in harmony?
« Reply #13 on: February 08, 2014, 12:40:49 PM »
I know I got really upset yesterday about someone publishing potentially damaging information about a marginalized and extremely vulnerable sector of society. I ended up deleting my own posts because I just didn't want to keep the energy up there. My outrage probably wouldn't change the writer's opinion or book anyway.

It was upsetting to have such a strong reaction to something on an internet forum. I'm a touchy-feely, diplomatic type, I don't like to criticize people unless it is very gentle. I learned critique skills in my college writing program. You always say something positive first, then the negative, then another positive. It makes it easier for people to hear what they need to change.

But sometimes things are just too horrible to compliment.

Online Ann in Arlington

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Re: Can't we all live in harmony?
« Reply #14 on: February 08, 2014, 12:41:35 PM »
We know you guys do a great job. The heart of the problem seems to be vengeance taken off the board, where you guys can't do anything about it (review attacks, blog attacks).

It's true, we can't do anything if it's taken off here. :( I get that you folks want to discuss things and not have to worry that what you say will be taken out of context or miscontrued and people will go all 'vengeance is mine' on you.  But the fact is, this IS a public board. Anybody can read what's written and, if they want to respond they can sign up and do so. But we can only control what they end up doing HERE.  So each of you has to take responsibility for what you post.  And LET US KNOW if you feel someone is crossing the line in their response!

We DO react if people seem to sign up just to cause trouble -- those folks are often flagged by members before they really do any damage and their posts are removed and their accounts deleted.

We actively discourage threads where people seem to be calling for vendettas.

And I don't think it is helpful to link to other sites/blogs where it's 'anything goes'.  It always seems like those sorts of threads get contentious faster than any other. :(  I think it's because people read stuff on them and absorb the emotions, often negative, and when they get back here it takes a while for it to dissipate.

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Offline Stacy Claflin

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Re: Can't we all live in harmony?
« Reply #15 on: February 08, 2014, 01:11:48 PM »
Personally, I've been busy getting ready to publish Ascension. Life has been extra busy lately too, leaving me little time for the forums. I'm either working, taking care of my family, or working on my book. Aside from that, with the tone of many threads lately, I haven't wanted to respond a lot of posts. And if I never see another post about free books again, I will be happy.

Hopefully, this will all blow over. If we can remain positive, the drama-seekers will find somewhere else to go. Optimism sucks out their drive. Every forum I've ever been a part of goes through these ebbs and flows.
   

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Offline vrabinec

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Re: Can't we all live in harmony?
« Reply #16 on: February 08, 2014, 01:15:59 PM »
Is the is sequel to Harvey's 30 page "Kinder, gentler KB" thread from a couple years ago that got really nasty? That was a blast.

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Offline Boyd

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Re: Can't we all live in harmony?
« Reply #17 on: February 08, 2014, 01:20:32 PM »
Is the is sequel to Harvey's 30 page "Kinder, gentler KB" thread from a couple years ago that got really nasty? That was a blast.
Link please :)  Maybe we can learn from history

Boyd Craven

Offline cinisajoy

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Re: Can't we all live in harmony?
« Reply #18 on: February 08, 2014, 01:26:38 PM »
I brought the cokes.  And some Crown Royal for those legal to drink.
http://www.kboards.com/index.php/topic,216185.msg3013849.html#new

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Offline Boyd

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Re: Can't we all live in harmony?
« Reply #19 on: February 08, 2014, 01:28:17 PM »
I brought the cokes.  And some Crown Royal for those legal to drink.
Woot!  I'm usually stuck with black velvet, thanks for the upgrade Cin :)

Boyd Craven

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Re: Can't we all live in harmony?
« Reply #20 on: February 08, 2014, 01:34:57 PM »
This place is pretty much the same it was a year ago, and it's been the same in between. I've seen some really ugly arguments come and go. If anyone feels it's getting worse, IMO that's a sure sign you're spending too much time and emotional energy here. If I get angry at someone, I log off for a day or two, and when I come back, empty my pm box unread.

I can recommend both courses of action. Let's not be sanctimonious about this. Arguments happen. Everyone gets angry sometimes. Actually, we need arguments, because if we all agreed or were meh enough about our opinions not to want to defend them, life would be as boring as hell.

I have one forum rule: if my reply amounts to a variation of "I agree", I don't post. Also, this good for word counts. Some people here post replies so long that they write a novel a day just on this forum.

Offline chrissponias

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Re: Can't we all live in harmony?
« Reply #21 on: February 08, 2014, 02:11:49 PM »
It would be very good if we would help one another.

A forum gives us the alternative to discuss our problems and find solutions together. This is a powerful alternative.

All we need is love.

Goodness is medicine.
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Offline Calvin Locke

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Re: Can't we all live in harmony?
« Reply #22 on: February 08, 2014, 02:18:26 PM »
I think tone and such are internalized when you're dealing with the written word. I am sarcastic and poke fun at myself yet sometimes people take that as rude, which is really the last thing I am.

So, to say that a board has become more hostile is a subjective thing, I think.

Unless we are talking about blatant hostility. Haven't seen much of that but i don't read that many posts.

Offline Edward M. Grant

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Re: Can't we all live in harmony?
« Reply #23 on: February 08, 2014, 02:27:19 PM »
So, to say that a board has become more hostile is a subjective thing, I think.

I think it's more down to which threads you read. If you concentrate on those asking for help, or posting their new cover or pics of their new PoD proof, or starting a writing discussion, you won't see much hostility. If you concentrate on those where someone tells us we all suck and have to do things their way, or link to a rant post saying the same, you'll think it's a den of vipers.

I mostly try to avoid the latter, myself, but occasionally feel a need to add a post or two. I should probably just skip over them in future.

Offline vrabinec

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Re: Can't we all live in harmony?
« Reply #24 on: February 08, 2014, 02:35:06 PM »
Link please :)  Maybe we can learn from history

Here. It wasn't even a year ago.

http://www.kboards.com/index.php/topic,145383.0.html

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