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Author Topic: Failed marriage, writing, and starting over. Advice?  (Read 2635 times)  

Offline Geoff North

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Failed marriage, writing, and starting over. Advice?
« on: December 05, 2017, 12:42:40 PM »
I haven't posted anything here for a long time, in fact, I wasn't all that active before. But I now find myself at a point in my life where I feel I have to reach out and ask for a bit of help, if that's okay.

2017 started out pretty well for me. I was on track to release a science fiction trilogy, promote as much as I could (even though the funds were limited), and try and make this writing thing my next career. The first two books were released, but the third is still only half done. Unfortunately everything started going very badly in April. My wife left me for another man, did NOT see it coming, and everything fell apart. I won't go into details, but it has been hard. I'm now at a place where I feel better about myself, and I have the full support of my children.

I want to get back to it. I want to finish the trilogy and then start something new. I have a lot of free time to write now. I live alone in a big, quiet house, so there's no excuse NOT to be writing. I now also have a lot more money to invest in advertising and promotion. My main question, I suppose, is how to do it? I used to keep a very close eye on things in these regards but haven't kept up on it during the last six months. What's working well for self-publishers now? AMS ads? Facebook ads? Bargain and Free Booksy? I have a budget of approximately $300 per month for six months. I'm thinking I can get some decent promotion?

Thanks in advance to anyone that replies. It means a lot to me. And btw, if anyone here has been through a similar situation, I would love to hear from you. Feel free to PM me. We can drink some virtual wine and discuss our woes, lol!

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Re: Failed marriage, writing, and starting over. Advice?
« Reply #1 on: December 05, 2017, 01:19:16 PM »
Hi Geoff. Been exactly where you are right now, minus the children, and it sucks but you'll no doubt bounce back and be better, stronger, more productive and just more you than ever before.

As regards promos, obviously with that kind of budget Bookbub should be right in your firing line.

Freebooksy always work wonderfully for me. Bknights and Robin Reads are great as well.

Best of luck with everything mate. Always free for a chat, even if I am on the other side of the pond.

Gaz.

Offline Monique

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Re: Failed marriage, writing, and starting over. Advice?
« Reply #2 on: December 05, 2017, 01:28:07 PM »
I'm sorry to hear about your troubles, but good for you for getting back to it. And don't think of it as starting over, you're not, you're picking up where you left off. Not all that much as changed, I don't think. People are seeing some success with BB and AMS ads. There are quite a few threads about them. Take your time and read, read, read. When you have 3 ready to go, apply for a Bookbub. Be sure to also apply for a new release alert and, if applicable, a pre-order alert.

Don't feel like you have to relearn everything or that the world has completely changed since you left. It hasn't. Subtle shifts, yes, but we are all just feeling our way along, too.

Don't hesitate to post more specific questions as they come to you and good luck!

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Offline Abderian

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Re: Failed marriage, writing, and starting over. Advice?
« Reply #3 on: December 05, 2017, 01:37:41 PM »
Sorry to hear of your difficulties, Geoff. For getting into Facebook ads, I would suggest buying Michael Cooper's My Facebook Ads Suck. Michael's seen a lot of success since honing is FB ads strategy and hopefully you can too.

Offline jdcore

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Re: Failed marriage, writing, and starting over. Advice?
« Reply #4 on: December 05, 2017, 01:40:29 PM »
My wife left me for her cousin's husband. And because of the fact that the cousin had also recently lost her dad most of everyone's sympathy was with her, rightly. I mean she lost her dad and her cousin swooped in while she was down and stole her man. Still, it left me with a weirdly lacking support group.

So I wrote my novella Confessions of the Cuckold. It sounds like erotica but its really the story of a guy whose wife leaves him for her sister's husband so he begins plotting a way to kill the man who stole his wife. Or does he? I mean sure, the wife stealer ends up dead and sure the circumstances fit the plot the cuckolded husband devised, but the police swear it was natural causes. Maybe it's just a coincidence...

Point is, writing is cathartic. Use what happened. Don't hide from it.
« Last Edit: December 05, 2017, 01:42:11 PM by jdcore »

Offline anniejocoby

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Re: Failed marriage, writing, and starting over. Advice?
« Reply #5 on: December 05, 2017, 01:45:04 PM »
*Hugs* I think we've all been where you are at some point, as far as getting our heart broken and somehow finding a way to put one foot in front of the other.

I'll echo what Monique says (Monique is very, very wise). Things haven't changed that much since you took a break. As she says, people are having success with AMS ads. I don't know about Facebook so much anymore - I've heard that they're not so effective anymore because they're so saturated.

I don't have much advice on how to do AMS properly, unfortunately. I'm thinking about picking up a book about it this week. I'm nervous myself to try AMS, because they seem so complicated and difficult to get right. But I think that they're an opportunity if you can figure them out.

As for Freebooksy, et. al...I think that Freebooksy is as effective as ever. Robin Reads is also pretty good. BookBub I guess is still the holy grail, but I keep hearing anecdotal evidence that the tail on BookBub isn't what it once was and that sell-through isn't the same, either. I wouldn't know - they won't touch me anymore. I'm like the plague to them these days.

All that I can say about what is working for me is writing treadmill. A new title every 5-6 weeks. I think that you can do that kind of production if you concentrate.

Anyhow, good luck. I'm very sorry to hear about your marriage. I know that's rough. Hang in there!
« Last Edit: December 05, 2017, 06:44:05 PM by anniejocoby »

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Offline jdcore

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Re: Failed marriage, writing, and starting over. Advice?
« Reply #6 on: December 05, 2017, 01:47:09 PM »
Oh, by the way, this was thirteen years ago now. Since then I had a two year relationship with a second woman who also cheated on me with a married man before I finally met the woman I have been with til today. We just celebrated the ten year anniversary of our courtship. We have no plans to marry and no intention of ever being apart.

It gets better.

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Re: Failed marriage, writing, and starting over. Advice?
« Reply #7 on: December 05, 2017, 01:49:08 PM »
No advice to offer, Geoff, just some hugs. :)

Offline Flay Otters

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Re: Failed marriage, writing, and starting over. Advice?
« Reply #8 on: December 05, 2017, 01:57:34 PM »
Been very low myself... several times.
It does get better Geoff, and yes, use the experience, and the quiet time to write.
Sorry I don't have any skillful ways to promote etc. but certainly wish you all success.

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Re: Failed marriage, writing, and starting over. Advice?
« Reply #9 on: December 05, 2017, 02:15:57 PM »
First, I add my condolences. I can't imagine what you're going through right now.

As for marketing advice ... everything Monique said. Also, finish that third book, no matter how hard it feels.

Remember, the universe you write in is the only universe you'll ever really control. Create a world you want to be in.



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Offline Geoff North

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Re: Failed marriage, writing, and starting over. Advice?
« Reply #10 on: December 05, 2017, 02:25:06 PM »
Thank you all for the kinds words and advice! It sounds as if things haven't changed all that much in the last six months.

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Offline Rosie A.

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Re: Failed marriage, writing, and starting over. Advice?
« Reply #11 on: December 05, 2017, 02:30:32 PM »
I'm so sorry, Geoff. That's heartbreaking. I hope you're able to take it one day at a time, heal, and strengthen from this experience. How terrible. I wish I could give you a super big hug! Being said, ease back into your writing. May I also suggest taking the troubles that ail you and using them in your stories as a way of healing?

2017 has been a big, horrible, mess of a year for my husband and I. We almost broke up and went through some serious troubles after our son's mother (my stepson) kidnapped him and we lost our house, etc spending money trying to get him back. Anyway, it's been a disaster of a year and we had to move in order to start fresh. What's really helped me get through this (besides faith and I don't always have the best days sometimes) has been writing. At first, it was hard. Really hard to get back in it. I didn't write for a few months because things were so crazy and I was emotionally drained. However, with a bit of time and a new perspective living somewhere new, my husband and I are working on things. Because I'm feeling a bit better, I've been able to write more and use my experiences/hurt in order to write about these things that trouble me. I think as writers, what we have to offer is perspective. Despite the tragic situation you've experienced and are coming out of, you have a lot to offer other people: hope. If you can, is it possible to use these experiences in your fiction and offer hope and healing through your work? Just an idea.

I'm glad you're here opening up. A lot of times when we're depressed and having a rough go at life we want to withdraw, but intimacy and relationship is what we need most. Take care.

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Offline Geoff North

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Re: Failed marriage, writing, and starting over. Advice?
« Reply #12 on: December 05, 2017, 02:35:13 PM »
Thank you for that, Rosie. I'm sorry to hear you've had such a rough year too. Happy to hear you and husband are working things out!

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Re: Failed marriage, writing, and starting over. Advice?
« Reply #13 on: December 05, 2017, 02:51:13 PM »
Chin up, Geoff. Itll all be grist to the mill eventually.

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Re: Failed marriage, writing, and starting over. Advice?
« Reply #14 on: December 05, 2017, 02:53:47 PM »
Geoff, if I were in your shoes, I'd start with AMS ads.

It's an easier platform to learn than Facebook. Plus, the folks who see your ads are on Amazon to buy things (commercial intent).

Start small and build gradually. Create a single ad with a $5/day budget. Then another. Then another.

Collect keywords. Put 'em in a spreadsheet. Keep adding to the inventory while pruning the ones that aren't converting.




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Offline MKK

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Re: Failed marriage, writing, and starting over. Advice?
« Reply #15 on: December 05, 2017, 02:58:28 PM »
On a positive note...

Your productivity should skyrocket. You're in Manitoba and about to have four months of miserably cold weather which will require that you stay inside and write :)

Seriously though...good luck with it. Sometimes a hard kick in the gut/heart/butt provides more motivation and opportunity than the best of intentions.

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Re: Failed marriage, writing, and starting over. Advice?
« Reply #16 on: December 05, 2017, 04:23:18 PM »
Geoff,
Man, that sucks. I'm sorry. There's some good advice on this thread. The *strategy* hasn't changed, and probably never will (write the best books you can, write good books people want to read, etc.), but the tactics go back and forth. Focus on content, because that's the stuff that sticks around. Finish book 3 and start working on a new series. Give yourself some time to figure out what your working pace is before you over-schedule or dig yourself into a hole.

Also, don't forget to give yourself time to heal. Going from having no time to write to All The Time to write is a bit of a culture shock in the best of situations. Your mental state is something to consider. Treat yourself better than she treated you.

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Re: Failed marriage, writing, and starting over. Advice?
« Reply #17 on: December 05, 2017, 05:11:22 PM »
All the best in this next chapter of your life, Geoff.  Anything is possible! :)

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Offline Lynn Is A Pseudonym

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Re: Failed marriage, writing, and starting over. Advice?
« Reply #18 on: December 05, 2017, 05:42:31 PM »
I'm so sorry you had to go through that.

It took me a year almost to the day before I could write again after my divorce started. It was stressful beyond belief and I wasn't able to concentrate on anything creative until then. The surprise makes a difference, I think, because there's been no processing time ahead of time, no mental preparation for what's to come. Sounds like we had a similar experience, so if you want to talk PM me and I'll share my email address. :)

Support of friends and family was the only thing that got me through it, I'll be honest. It was the hardest thing I've ever gone through.

Everyone else is right about the world of self-pub though. Even though it can feel like it moves at light speed, it really doesn't. It's a little thing changed here and a little thing that's different there.

You'll probably be up to speed in less than a week. :)

Offline EvanPickering

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Re: Failed marriage, writing, and starting over. Advice?
« Reply #19 on: December 05, 2017, 05:43:21 PM »
As bad as this is, it's a hell of a lot better than being in a [crap] relationship.

I recommending reading this and part 2 of this, it might be one of the best things I've ever read about relationships and it made me feel worlds better when me and my girlfriend fell apart. Not the same as a marriage I know, but this [crap] was pretty serious.

https://waitbutwhy.com/2014/02/pick-life-partner.html

It brings up a good point that if you're single, your one step away from something great. If you're in a bad relationship, you're several steps away. First you have to get out of the relationship, then be okay, then find someone.

It's a simple point, but often lost on people who, when alone, feel like they're left behind at the back of a race.

As far as writing... Someone said it above, but, it's true: the tactics change, the strategy stays the same. Write fun and wildly entertaining books. The rest is easy. I've been studying books I can't put down lately to try and improve my own writing.

Take care of yourself dude.
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Offline Geoff North

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Re: Failed marriage, writing, and starting over. Advice?
« Reply #20 on: December 05, 2017, 06:45:40 PM »
Thank you everyone - so much!

Evan, I will check that link out!

Lynn - I will PM you. It really does feel good to talk.

Mark - listened to a couple of your podcasts this morning. A little surreal to hear from you here again a few hours later, lol!

MKK - thanks for reminding me of the cold months ahead!  ;)

Anarchist - I was getting the hang of Amazon ads before this happened. Will get back into it!

Lori and Athena - thank you so much! And to everyone else. You've cheered me up immensely.

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Re: Failed marriage, writing, and starting over. Advice?
« Reply #21 on: December 05, 2017, 07:48:36 PM »
Is Ambition the first book in your trilogy?  It looks good!

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Offline Geoff North

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Re: Failed marriage, writing, and starting over. Advice?
« Reply #22 on: December 05, 2017, 08:50:25 PM »
Yes, Lorri, Ambition is book 1. I hope it looks good, that cover cost a small fortune! Lol!

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Offline A Fading Street

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Re: Failed marriage, writing, and starting over. Advice?
« Reply #23 on: December 06, 2017, 12:09:25 AM »
Hey Geoff I went through something like this nearly twenty years ago. My commiserations are endless BUT I have that event to thank for the three best things ever to happen to me. Meeting my other half and the births of my two fantastic kids. Those three things would never have happened without the first event and for that, now, I am eternally grateful.
Keep writing, but most importantly keep living because you really never know what is just around the corner.
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Offline Steve Vernon

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Re: Failed marriage, writing, and starting over. Advice?
« Reply #24 on: December 06, 2017, 01:31:43 AM »
About thirty or so years ago I divorced and my writing ground to a half. I went back to university and hitchhiked across Canada. I was homeless for a while. I turned both of those experiences into newspaper articles. I began to think in story again. My fingertips yearned for a keyboard and I began to write again. I published my first local book. I moved on.

I met the big love of my life and we've been happy together these last 25 years or so.

This whole experience will get easier as time works its magic.

Hang in their buddy.

Offline The Bass Bagwhan

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Re: Failed marriage, writing, and starting over. Advice?
« Reply #25 on: December 06, 2017, 02:11:23 AM »
Well, I guess your Christmas gift list is a hell of a lot shorter and less expensive... hang in there, things will improve.

Seriously, I think FB ads are the only real option these days. Third party email lists (Feebooksy, etc) are saturated and even AMS ads aren't totally under your control. And with that budget you can experiment a lot.

Good luck with everything.
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Offline Kathy Dee

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Re: Failed marriage, writing, and starting over. Advice?
« Reply #26 on: December 06, 2017, 03:00:39 AM »
I've been there and got the T shirt too so I know how you feel. As someone who has not reached my goal, I can't offer much good advice on what is working right now. But I wanted to encourage you, personally. Yes, write your socks off. But also make sure you get out and meet people. Join groups that interest you and you never know, life will probably surprise you.

Good luck :)

Offline she-la-ti-da

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Re: Failed marriage, writing, and starting over. Advice?
« Reply #27 on: December 06, 2017, 04:38:17 AM »
Geoff, having been on the receiving end of an adulterous spouse/partner, I can totally get where you're coming from. It does get better, with time. Hugs to you and others who've been through or are going through the rough times.

As to the marketing stuff, others have given good advice. It really hasn't changed very much in the last few months, so it won't take long to get up to speed.

Good luck!
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Offline Awasin

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Re: Failed marriage, writing, and starting over. Advice?
« Reply #28 on: December 06, 2017, 11:25:00 AM »
I think you're overdue for a trip to Thailand, OP.

I didn't realize life was a gift until I spent some time in Bangkok.

Offline Geoff North

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Re: Failed marriage, writing, and starting over. Advice?
« Reply #29 on: December 06, 2017, 11:48:43 AM »
No Thailand, Awasin, but I am going to Cuba next month for two weeks!  :)

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Offline Awasin

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Re: Failed marriage, writing, and starting over. Advice?
« Reply #30 on: December 06, 2017, 12:07:51 PM »
No Thailand, Awasin, but I am going to Cuba next month for two weeks!  :)

I've never been to Cuba but getting out of a Manitoba winter for even a couple of weeks will certainly cheer you up!

Divorce is worse than death in that you can make sense of death whereas divorce confounds all your expectations.  Hang in there.

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Re: Failed marriage, writing, and starting over. Advice?
« Reply #31 on: December 06, 2017, 01:02:03 PM »
Been there; it sucked; things get better. I took a hiatus from writing to get well and refocused, and the writing came back in time. As for what to do with the ad money, honestly, I'd put some of it into drip campaigns like AMS but bank the rest and use it for covers and editing on more books. I've found that the next release was better advertising than any one-time ad bump. Maybe bank it and see if you can score the Bookbub brass ring. But otherwise I'd suggest writing and publishing the next book, and then do it again.

Offline Marian

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Re: Failed marriage, writing, and starting over. Advice?
« Reply #32 on: December 06, 2017, 01:14:59 PM »
I'm so sorry this happened to you. As others have said, the next chapters in your life will be better and better and better...

Offline Dpock

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Re: Failed marriage, writing, and starting over. Advice?
« Reply #33 on: December 06, 2017, 02:40:11 PM »
AMS ads, once fine-tuned (be careful with those high bids), perform well. Promotional newsletters may be waning as a result. I don't FB.

On the other: I'm twice divorced, so I'll speak from my experiences. The first year following a divorce can be grim. It doesn't matter if the divorce was due to acrimonious circumstances or an amicable parting of ways.

After the first year, it's hard to carry a grudge or feel wounded. Well before the end of the second year, it's like the divorce never happened. By year three you're calling your ex to get her mother's recipe for carbonara, and she's complaining to you about her new husband. I'm not kidding. I know for many it doesn't always go so well.

I now count both exes among my good friends. We don't feel our marriages failed. They just ran their course. We had some great times and we're still able to reminisce (I will go ahead and admit their new husbands aren't real keen on that. Screw 'em). In the end, you were half of the marriage, and now you're half of the divorce, so make it a good one. Also, if you can put the bitterness aside, it'll really annoy your ex.

Posting vacation pictures from Cuba is a good start.


Offline MyraScott

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Re: Failed marriage, writing, and starting over. Advice?
« Reply #34 on: December 06, 2017, 02:54:18 PM »
I just wanted to offer hugs and condolences.  It's really hard to get rolling when your heart is in tatters.

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Re: Failed marriage, writing, and starting over. Advice?
« Reply #35 on: December 06, 2017, 10:08:17 PM »
Equilibrium will eventually settle and you'll be better for this.  Sounds like you've got some great kids in your corner too, so celebrate life with them this Christmas.  Enjoy your trip!

As far as advertising, it's going to depend a little bit on if you're exclusive to KDP-Select or if you're wide.  Either way, give AMS ads a whirl.  Do a few short-term campaigns (two/three weeks tops) with a few dollars a day and play with your keywords.  Sometimes the less obvious ones end up doing pretty good.  Find authors in your genre(s) that are selling well.  Amazon gives you a whole list of suggestions to get started, but be sure an adjust their "suggested" bid of .25 per click to something less to start or you'll blow through your daily budget before evening when most will be shopping.

As far as promotional sites, I've had good luck in the thriller and mystery genres with Robin Reads, EReader News Today, Fussy Librarian, Reading Deals, etc.  Freebooksy seems to do better for certain other genres, but there are many who still find success with them.  Book Adrenaline and Book Barbarian are good for specific genres too.  Though I don't do FB ads myself, I've heard a mixed bag from other authors about effectiveness.  Sounds like it's gotten more and more expensive of late.

And feel free to PM if you ever want to shoot the breeze.  Long-time divorcee here who just decided to live her own life on her terms.  :P

Offline Geoff North

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Re: Failed marriage, writing, and starting over. Advice?
« Reply #36 on: December 07, 2017, 04:40:37 AM »
Once again, thanks to everyone that's posted to this thread!  I'm looking forward to getting back to it with AMS and maybe even giving the Facebook ads another go. I hope they've made the interface a little less challenging?

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Re: Failed marriage, writing, and starting over. Advice?
« Reply #37 on: December 07, 2017, 06:15:21 AM »
I hope they've made the interface a little less challenging?

The AMS platform hasn't changed much since its debut.
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Re: Failed marriage, writing, and starting over. Advice?
« Reply #38 on: December 07, 2017, 12:20:15 PM »
Hey,    Geoff,

Life is just hard sometimes. I went through a long, painful divorce, too and then I got laid off two jobs back-to-back. And lost my home and almost all of my belongings.

Not that this is about me, but I understand going through dark times. The only things that kept me going were my awesome kids and my love of writing. The hard times remind of us of our inner-strength and to be grateful for what do have, like family, friends, and our health.  ;)

Stay strong and focus on the good. Wishing you happy holidays and a much better 2018!  ;D

~Sherry

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Re: Failed marriage, writing, and starting over. Advice?
« Reply #39 on: December 07, 2017, 05:30:57 PM »
Hey,    Geoff,

Life is just hard sometimes. I went through a long, painful divorce, too and then I got laid off two jobs back-to-back. And lost my home and almost all of my belongings.

Not that this is about me, but I understand going through dark times. The only things that kept me going were my awesome kids and my love of writing. The hard times remind of us of our inner-strength and to be grateful for what do have, like family, friends, and our health.  ;)

Stay strong and focus on the good. Wishing you happy holidays and a much better 2018!  ;D

~Sherry

Sherry, OMG you've had a time!  Good for you focusing on what you can change, rather than what you cannot.  Hugs and I hope 2018 is better for all of us! :)

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Offline Geoff North

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Re: Failed marriage, writing, and starting over. Advice?
« Reply #40 on: December 07, 2017, 06:31:44 PM »
Thank you, Sherry. So sorry to hear how bad the divorce was for you. I should be grateful not only for my kids, but for the good job, and my home. It's easy to forget sometimes the crap people have gone through when it happens to you. Glad to see you're doing so well now!

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Re: Failed marriage, writing, and starting over. Advice?
« Reply #41 on: December 08, 2017, 09:38:29 PM »
About thirty or so years ago I divorced and my writing ground to a half. I went back to university and hitchhiked across Canada. I was homeless for a while. I turned both of those experiences into newspaper articles. I began to think in story again. My fingertips yearned for a keyboard and I began to write again. I published my first local book. I moved on.

I met the big love of my life and we've been happy together these last 25 years or so.

This whole experience will get easier as time works its magic.

Hang in their buddy.

I find these kinds of stories so cool. Life does so much crazy [crap], I feel like it's hardly ever as linear or as streamlined as we all imagine it usually is.

Thanks for sharing

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Offline L.J.Simpson

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Re: Failed marriage, writing, and starting over. Advice?
« Reply #42 on: December 09, 2017, 04:08:04 AM »
My first wife left me for another guy some almost twenty five years back - for a guy half my age, would you believe. That kinda hurt, though a little lost voice inside my head said that he wasn't the sort of guy I was supposed to be competing with anyway, which in a way made it easier. But they were pretty dark times and there are no quick fixes, no easy answers.
All I can say is, you now get a new shot at everything. It's all out there waiting you you, my friend. Getting over it all takes time, but then one day you realize it's not the end - it's very much a new beginning. I'm sure life will give you a few more surprises - some bad, maybe, but a lot of them are going to be good!
Really hope things work out for you, both professionally ans personally. Good luck! 
« Last Edit: December 10, 2017, 08:59:37 PM by L.J.Simpson »
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Re: Failed marriage, writing, and starting over. Advice?
« Reply #43 on: December 09, 2017, 04:56:48 AM »
I don't have any advice about writing or advertising, but I just wanted to say that when it comes to divorce, I've been there too, and I swear it really does get better. It's been four years since my ex and I split, and I sometimes feel like I'm just now waking up from a long, long nap and getting myself back together. It'll take time (and maybe some wine) but it'll get better. Eventually.

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Re: Failed marriage, writing, and starting over. Advice?
« Reply #44 on: December 09, 2017, 12:51:15 PM »
Geoff,
like many here I've been through a terrible divorce as well...over 41 years ago now (1977). I'd already been writing for 6 years, had two novels written but hadn't been published yet (my first book of 26 came out eventually in 1984). My first husband (a cop) left me for a waitress with two kids and he never looked back; abandoned his son and I to the world and the wolves. It took me a long time to get back to writing because I had to get a full time job right away and raise my son. But I also met the love of my life after that, married him, and we are now celebrating 40 years of marriage. Life! But difficulties never stop and you learn to write around and through them if you're a true writer. Right now, for the first time in my previously healthy life, I have just been diagnosed with breast cancer (my husband has been fighting cancer now already for 10 months....is slowly recovering) so right now all my plans and my writing have again taken a second seat. (But, good news, they caught my cancer early the doctor says and after a surgery and radiation I should be okay.....I pray so.) So, you see, life and its hardships will keep occurring, but, hopefully, you will write on......and on....and on. Just be sure to enjoy every day and life as it comes. Time goes by so quickly.

Kathryn Meyer Griffith horror/murder mystery author since 1984 26 novels,2 novellas,10 short stories
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Re: Failed marriage, writing, and starting over. Advice?
« Reply #45 on: December 09, 2017, 02:22:45 PM »
Thank you, Sherry. So sorry to hear how bad the divorce was for you. I should be grateful not only for my kids, but for the good job, and my home. It's easy to forget sometimes the crap people have gone through when it happens to you. Glad to see you're doing so well now!

Thanks! Hang in there. I know it's a cliche, but time really does heal all wounds. Plus, leaving that cheating jerk was the best thing I ever did, even if it meant starting over with nothing but the clothes on my back. Literally.

I'm still not financially where I want to be, but I'm thankful every day for everything I do have. And if you ever want someone to rant or whine to, feel free to hit me up. :D

« Last Edit: December 09, 2017, 02:25:28 PM by SA_Soule »

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Re: Failed marriage, writing, and starting over. Advice?
« Reply #46 on: December 10, 2017, 08:33:12 AM »
Geoff,
like many here I've been through a terrible divorce as well...over 41 years ago now (1977). I'd already been writing for 6 years, had two novels written but hadn't been published yet (my first book of 26 came out eventually in 1984). My first husband (a cop) left me for a waitress with two kids and he never looked back; abandoned his son and I to the world and the wolves. It took me a long time to get back to writing because I had to get a full time job right away and raise my son. But I also met the love of my life after that, married him, and we are now celebrating 40 years of marriage. Life! But difficulties never stop and you learn to write around and through them if you're a true writer. Right now, for the first time in my previously healthy life, I have just been diagnosed with breast cancer (my husband has been fighting cancer now already for 10 months....is slowly recovering) so right now all my plans and my writing have again taken a second seat. (But, good news, they caught my cancer early the doctor says and after a surgery and radiation I should be okay.....I pray so.) So, you see, life and its hardships will keep occurring, but, hopefully, you will write on......and on....and on. Just be sure to enjoy every day and life as it comes. Time goes by so quickly.

Stay strong! I'll keep you in my prayers.

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Re: Failed marriage, writing, and starting over. Advice?
« Reply #47 on: December 10, 2017, 08:37:10 AM »
Thank you SA Soule,
as with all people with any form of cancer, we need all the prayers we can get.

Kathryn Meyer Griffith horror/murder mystery author since 1984 26 novels,2 novellas,10 short stories
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Re: Failed marriage, writing, and starting over. Advice?
« Reply #48 on: December 10, 2017, 09:06:24 AM »
Maybe we need to start a "Divorce and Overcoming Epic Struggles for Writer's Club"! A support slash encouragement group. hehe  :D

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Re: Failed marriage, writing, and starting over. Advice?
« Reply #49 on: December 10, 2017, 10:17:22 AM »
That is a pretty good idea actually, SA.

Kathryn - so sorry to hear about all you've been through. HUGS!

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Re: Failed marriage, writing, and starting over. Advice?
« Reply #50 on: December 10, 2017, 10:58:59 AM »
My marriage ended near the end of last year when my health was suffering and I needed her most. I had 3 heart surgeries this year, one of which really turned my life around, and I feel better than I did in years. Now I feel healthy, happy, inspired, and have a renewed appreciation for life--every moment with a loved one is precious and every meal is a banquet. I'm about to release the third book of my trilogy in the next few weeks. I started this year with no assets, no books, and struggling to live--I'm ending it as a home owner, the author of a completed trilogy (which completes my lifelong dream), and I'm healthier than most people my age. I feel like a phoenix risen from the ashes and I hope you rise up from the ashes as well. Cheers.

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Re: Failed marriage, writing, and starting over. Advice?
« Reply #51 on: December 11, 2017, 10:58:34 AM »
Thank you Geoff.
And HUGS to you, as well. You will get through this. We all do.
Have a great time in Cuba. Life is for living.....

Kathryn Meyer Griffith horror/murder mystery author since 1984 26 novels,2 novellas,10 short stories
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