Author Topic: CAPS-LOCK WEDNESDAY: ONLY _YOU_ CAN PREVENT TOURIST TIRES!  (Read 944 times)  

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CAPS-LOCK WEDNESDAY: ONLY _YOU_ CAN PREVENT TOURIST TIRES!
« on: January 03, 2018, 09:57:19 AM »
WELCOME TO THE VERY FIRST CAPS-LOCK WEDNESDAY OF 2018, WHERE I HAD A BETTER TOPIC BUT THAT WAS TUESDAY AND I COULDN'T POST IT BUT NOW THAT IT'S WEDNESDAY I CAN BUT SAID BETTER TOPIC IS LONG SINCE FORGOTTEN AS TUESDAY WAS A VERY LONG TIME AGO.

SO WITH THE NEW YEAR, EVERYONE DOES RESOLUTIONS AND LISTS THEM AND PROMPTLY BREAKS EVERY LAST ONE OF THEM BY FRIDAY.  INSTEAD, LET'S DO OUR NEW YEARS' WONDERINGS . . .

I WONDER HOW MANY KB AUTHORS' INDIE PUBLISHING CAREERS WILL REALLY TAKE OFF THIS YEAR AND WE'LL NEVER HEAR FROM THEM AGAIN BECAUSE WE'LL BE LIKE LITTLE ANTS TO THEM AND THEY'LL BE ALL LIKE DID I JUST STEP IN SOMETHING BECAUSE THERE ARE ICKY GOOEY SPLATTERS ON THE SOLES OF MY GUCCI SHOES?

I WONDER HOW MANY DAYS STRAIGHT THE WRITERS' CAFE CAN GO WITHOUT A LINK TO A GUARDIAN ARTICLE?

I WONDER HOW MANY BLONDE WOMEN NAMED COURTNEY ARE ALL LIKE, NO, NO, NO!  I AM NOT THE COURTNEY FROM THE COMMERCIAL!  I AM MARRIED!  STOP TRYING TO FIND ME!!!

I WONDER HOW MANY DAYS WILL PASS BEFORE SOMEONE ON KB POSTS ASKING ABOUT QUOTING SONG LYRICS?

I WONDER IF A ONE-HUNDRED-AND-THIRTY-CAR TRAIN IS HEADING SOUTH AT 50MPH AND A SEVENTY-SIX-CAR TRAIN IS HEADING NORTH AT 60MPH ON OPPOSING TRACKS, HOW MUCH GAS WILL YOUR CAR CONSUME SITTING AT THE RAILROAD CROSSING WAITING FOR BOTH TRAINS TO PASS?

I WONDER IF A MILLION MONKEYS TYPED ON A MILLION WORD PROCESSORS FOR NANOWRIMO, HOW MANY OF THE RESULTING BOOKS WOULD OUTSELL MINE?

I WONDER IF A WOODCHUCK COULD CHUCK WOOD, MOW MUCH WOOD WOULD THE WOODCHUCK LOAD INTO A TRUCK, TAKE HOME, TIE IN SMALL BUNDLES WITH RATTAN, TAKE PICTURES OF AND ADVERTISE ON ETSY AS ARTISANAL REMNANT WOOD PERSONALLY SELECTED BY THE FINEST WOODCHUCK CRAFTSMEN?

WHAT DO YOU WONDER THIS YEAR?

Offline D A Bale

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Re: CAPS-LOCK WEDNESDAY: ONLY _YOU_ CAN PREVENT TOURIST TIRES!
« Reply #1 on: January 03, 2018, 10:54:52 AM »
INSTEAD, LET'S DO OUR NEW YEARS' WONDERINGS . . .

HOW ABOUT WANDERINGS?

LIKE WANDERING THROUGH A VILLAGER'S SNOWY WOODS LIKE ROBERT FROST?

OR FOR THOSE IN WARMER CLIMES, WANDERING ALONG A SANDY BEACH AND SPYING FOOTPRINTS SNEAKING UP BEHIND YOU?

HOW MANY DAYS WILL IT TAKE FOR SOMEONE NEW TO WANDER ONTO KBOARDS AND ASK IF THEY SHOULD RESPOND TO A BAD REVIEW?

Offline BrentNichols

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Re: CAPS-LOCK WEDNESDAY: ONLY _YOU_ CAN PREVENT TOURIST TIRES!
« Reply #2 on: January 03, 2018, 12:14:54 PM »
I WONDER WHY SHE WENT AWAY, MY LITTLE RUNAWAY

Offline Jeff Tanyard

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Re: CAPS-LOCK WEDNESDAY: ONLY _YOU_ CAN PREVENT TOURIST TIRES!
« Reply #3 on: January 03, 2018, 12:16:59 PM »
I WONDER IF A ONE-HUNDRED-AND-THIRTY-CAR TRAIN IS HEADING SOUTH AT 50MPH AND A SEVENTY-SIX-CAR TRAIN IS HEADING NORTH AT 60MPH ON OPPOSING TRACKS, HOW MUCH GAS WILL YOUR CAR CONSUME SITTING AT THE RAILROAD CROSSING WAITING FOR BOTH TRAINS TO PASS?


ALL OF THE GAS.  AND NONE OF THE GAS.  SIMULTANEOUSLY.  YOU WON'T KNOW FOR SURE UNTIL YOU LOOK IN THE TANK.  IT'S SCHRODINGER'S GAS.
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Online loraininflorida

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Re: CAPS-LOCK WEDNESDAY: ONLY _YOU_ CAN PREVENT TOURIST TIRES!
« Reply #4 on: January 03, 2018, 01:27:16 PM »
I WONDER, WONDER WHO, (MMBADOO-OOH) --WHO, WHO WROTE THE BOOK OF LOVE.

OH MY GOD! I'VE QUOTED SONG LYRICS! HELP ME, I'M GONNA DIE!!!! 


Lorain O'Neil

Offline Benjamin Douglas

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Re: CAPS-LOCK WEDNESDAY: ONLY _YOU_ CAN PREVENT TOURIST TIRES!
« Reply #5 on: January 03, 2018, 01:29:22 PM »
I WONDER AS I WANDER

WONDER ECTION

WON DERMATOLOGIST, A RABBI, AND A PRIEST WALK INTO A BAR

DAN C RINNERT YOURE MY WONDERWALL

Offline Paranormal Kitty

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Re: CAPS-LOCK WEDNESDAY: ONLY _YOU_ CAN PREVENT TOURIST TIRES!
« Reply #6 on: January 03, 2018, 01:31:20 PM »
OR FOR THOSE IN WARMER CLIMES, WANDERING ALONG A SANDY BEACH AND SPYING FOOTPRINTS SNEAKING UP BEHIND YOU?

IT'S PROBABLY SPACE ALIENS THANKS TO ELON MUSK.

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Re: CAPS-LOCK WEDNESDAY: ONLY _YOU_ CAN PREVENT TOURIST TIRES!
« Reply #7 on: January 03, 2018, 01:38:47 PM »
IT'S PROBABLY SPACE ALIENS THANKS TO ELON MUSK.

WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE...

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Re: CAPS-LOCK WEDNESDAY: ONLY _YOU_ CAN PREVENT TOURIST TIRES!
« Reply #8 on: January 03, 2018, 01:42:57 PM »
STOP WORRYING ABOUT THE SPACE ALIENS!  I HAVE A SCARF AND A SONIC SCREWDRIVER.

Offline D A Bale

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Re: CAPS-LOCK WEDNESDAY: ONLY _YOU_ CAN PREVENT TOURIST TIRES!
« Reply #9 on: January 03, 2018, 01:47:49 PM »
STOP WORRYING ABOUT THE SPACE ALIENS!  I HAVE A SCARF AND A SONIC SCREWDRIVER.

BUT MY LOCAL SONIC DOESN'T SERVE ALCOHOL.

Offline kdiem

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Re: CAPS-LOCK WEDNESDAY: ONLY _YOU_ CAN PREVENT TOURIST TIRES!
« Reply #10 on: January 03, 2018, 01:54:13 PM »
I HEAR (OR READ, ANYWAY) THAT SOME ALIENS ARE PRETTY HOT.

I WONDER IF ONE OF THE REALLY ATTRACTIVE ONES WILL APPLY TO BE A POOL BOY, AND WILL CHALLENGE THE EXISTING POOL BOY HIERARCHY, MAKING THEM FLEX MORE AS THEY SKIM THE POOL. OR WEAR LESS.

I ALSO WONDER IF ANYONE WILL APPRECIATE THE REVERENCE IN MY WIP FOR TACO TUESDAY?

TODAY'S SNACKS:
AS A NOD TO DIET RESOLUTIONS: BAKED PEARS (WITH HONEY AND/OR CARAMEL GLAZES).
UNREPENTANT EATERS CAN ALSO HAVE DOUBLE DARK CHOCOLATE CUPCAKES WITH OR WITHOUT PEANUT BUTTER FILLING.

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Re: CAPS-LOCK WEDNESDAY: ONLY _YOU_ CAN PREVENT TOURIST TIRES!
« Reply #11 on: January 03, 2018, 02:10:28 PM »
I WONDER IF BETSY REALLY MEANT IT WHEN SHE WROTE THIS IN ANOTHER THREAD A COUPLE OF WEEKS AGO:

"How about discussing the best word processor for writers or something that everyone agrees on?  ;D. Or whether Dan Rinnert is an alien?"

REGARDING BETSY'S FIRST SUGGESTION -  I DON'T THINK EVERYBODY AGREES ON WHICH WORD PROCESSOR IS THE BEST (BUT I COULD BE WRONG).

REGARDING HER SECOND SUGGESTION - WAS THERE EVER REALLY ANY DOUBT?


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Re: CAPS-LOCK WEDNESDAY: ONLY _YOU_ CAN PREVENT TOURIST TIRES!
« Reply #12 on: January 03, 2018, 02:33:41 PM »
I WONDER IF BETSY REALLY MEANT IT WHEN SHE WROTE THIS IN ANOTHER THREAD A COUPLE OF WEEKS AGO:

"How about discussing the best word processor for writers or something that everyone agrees on?  ;D. Or whether Dan Rinnert is an alien?"

YOU'LL NOTICE SHE HASN'T POSTED SINCE.  MUHAHAHAHAHA.  I MEAN, SHE'S PROBABLY ON VACATION OR SOMETHING.  OR SOMETHING.  MUHAHAHAHAHA.  I MEAN, I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT HAPPENED TO BETSY.  NONE WHATSOEVER.

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Re: CAPS-LOCK WEDNESDAY: ONLY _YOU_ CAN PREVENT TOURIST TIRES!
« Reply #13 on: January 03, 2018, 02:53:32 PM »
I AM UNREPENTANT AND I WILL HAVE ALL THE DOUBLE DARK.
NOW.

Offline D A Bale

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Re: CAPS-LOCK WEDNESDAY: ONLY _YOU_ CAN PREVENT TOURIST TIRES!
« Reply #14 on: January 03, 2018, 03:08:28 PM »
I ALSO WONDER IF ANYONE WILL APPRECIATE THE REVERENCE IN MY WIP FOR TACO TUESDAY?

GASP!  YOU USED ONE OF DAN'S BANNED WORDS? ? ? ?  WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO?  GET BETSY TO BRING OUT THE CATTLE PROD ALREADY?  IT ISN'T EVEN MARCH YET.

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Re: CAPS-LOCK WEDNESDAY: ONLY _YOU_ CAN PREVENT TOURIST TIRES!
« Reply #15 on: January 03, 2018, 03:41:12 PM »
YOU'LL NOTICE SHE HASN'T POSTED SINCE.  MUHAHAHAHAHA.  I MEAN, SHE'S PROBABLY ON VACATION OR SOMETHING.  OR SOMETHING.  MUHAHAHAHAHA.  I MEAN, I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT HAPPENED TO BETSY.  NONE WHATSOEVER.

THE SECURITY PERIMETER ALARMS IN MY SECRET LAIR HAVE JUST GONE HAYWIRE. I'M GETTING ALERTS, BUT I CAN'T QUITE MAKE THEM OUT...

OKAY, THE MESSAGE IS FINALLY COMING THROUGH:

CATTLE PROD ALERT!  CATTLE PROD ALERT!

ARGHHHHHH!

RUN FOR YOUR LIFE DAN! IT MAY BE TOO LATE FOR ME, BUT YOU STILL HAVE A CHANCE TO SAVE YOURSELF! RUN!


Offline Steve Margolis

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Re: CAPS-LOCK WEDNESDAY: ONLY _YOU_ CAN PREVENT TOURIST TIRES!
« Reply #16 on: January 03, 2018, 03:59:40 PM »
WITH WEED BEING LEGAL IN CALIFORNIA NOW, I WONDER IF MY WRITING WILL GET BETTER?

AND WILL I CARE EITHER WAY?
Steve Margolis | Website

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Re: CAPS-LOCK WEDNESDAY: ONLY _YOU_ CAN PREVENT TOURIST TIRES!
« Reply #17 on: January 03, 2018, 04:10:21 PM »
I WONDER IF A ONE-HUNDRED-AND-THIRTY-CAR TRAIN IS HEADING SOUTH AT 50MPH AND A SEVENTY-SIX-CAR TRAIN IS HEADING NORTH AT 60MPH ON OPPOSING TRACKS, HOW MUCH GAS WILL YOUR CAR CONSUME SITTING AT THE RAILROAD CROSSING WAITING FOR BOTH TRAINS TO PASS?

I WONDER IF I HAVE OVER-SIMPLIFIED THE MATH:

WE CAN IGNORE THE SHORTER, FASTER, TRAIN AS IT WILL PASS THROUGH BEFORE THE LONGER SLOWER TRAIN HAS GONE THE OTHER WAY.

GOOGLE TELLS ME THE AVERAGE LENGTH OF A TRAIN CAR IS AROUND 55 FEET 5 INCHES, WHICH PUTS THE TOTAL LENGTH OF THE TRAIN AT JUST OVER 704 FEET. TRAVELLING AT 50 MILES PER HOUR, IT WILL TAKE 8 SECONDS TO COVER IT'S OWN LENGTH IN DISTANCE TRAVELLED.

THE AAA SAY THAT A CAR AT IDLE USES ROUGHLY 1/4 OF A GALLON EVERY 15 MINUTES. IF WE IGNORE THE WIDTH OF THE ROAD, THIS MEANS THAT YOUR CAR (ASSUMING IT'S AVERAGE) WILL USE ROUGHLY 0.00222 GALLONS OF GAS (OR 8.4 MILLILITRES IF YOU'RE IN METRIC LAND LIKE ME) WHILE THE TRAIN PASSES A SINGLE POINT.

IF WE FACTOR IN THE WIDTH OF THE ROAD THAT IT ALSO HAS TO PASS, THE ANSWER WILL BE JUST UNDER ONE TABLESPOON OF GAS ??? UNLESS YOU DRIVE A HYBRID ;D

I THINK IM DONE PROCRASTINATING NOW... :P :P


DC Swain | Author Website

Offline Jeff Tanyard

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Re: CAPS-LOCK WEDNESDAY: ONLY _YOU_ CAN PREVENT TOURIST TIRES!
« Reply #18 on: January 03, 2018, 04:52:39 PM »
I WONDER IF I HAVE OVER-SIMPLIFIED THE MATH:

WE CAN IGNORE THE SHORTER, FASTER, TRAIN AS IT WILL PASS THROUGH BEFORE THE LONGER SLOWER TRAIN HAS GONE THE OTHER WAY.

GOOGLE TELLS ME THE AVERAGE LENGTH OF A TRAIN CAR IS AROUND 55 FEET 5 INCHES, WHICH PUTS THE TOTAL LENGTH OF THE TRAIN AT JUST OVER 704 FEET. TRAVELLING AT 50 MILES PER HOUR, IT WILL TAKE 8 SECONDS TO COVER IT'S OWN LENGTH IN DISTANCE TRAVELLED.

THE AAA SAY THAT A CAR AT IDLE USES ROUGHLY 1/4 OF A GALLON EVERY 15 MINUTES. IF WE IGNORE THE WIDTH OF THE ROAD, THIS MEANS THAT YOUR CAR (ASSUMING IT'S AVERAGE) WILL USE ROUGHLY 0.00222 GALLONS OF GAS (OR 8.4 MILLILITRES IF YOU'RE IN METRIC LAND LIKE ME) WHILE THE TRAIN PASSES A SINGLE POINT.

IF WE FACTOR IN THE WIDTH OF THE ROAD THAT IT ALSO HAS TO PASS, THE ANSWER WILL BE JUST UNDER ONE TABLESPOON OF GAS ??? UNLESS YOU DRIVE A HYBRID ;D

I THINK IM DONE PROCRASTINATING NOW... :P :P


SEEMS LEGIT TO ME.   8)


WITH WEED BEING LEGAL IN CALIFORNIA NOW, I WONDER IF MY WRITING WILL GET BETTER?


NAH... YOU'RE THINKING OF COCAINE, BRO.  OR MAYBE HEROIN.  NOT SURE.  HMM... WE NEED A ROCK STAR FROM THE 1970S TO SETTLE THIS FOR US.
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Offline kw3000

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Re: CAPS-LOCK WEDNESDAY: ONLY _YOU_ CAN PREVENT TOURIST TIRES!
« Reply #19 on: January 03, 2018, 06:15:44 PM »
I ALSO WONDER IF ANYONE WILL APPRECIATE THE REVERENCE IN MY WIP FOR TACO TUESDAY?

I DON'T KNOW, BUT YOUR QUESTION REMINDED ME THAT I WONDER IF/WHEN 'TIL TUESDAY WILL REUNITE. #VOICESCARRY

Ken Ward

Offline kdiem

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Re: CAPS-LOCK WEDNESDAY: ONLY _YOU_ CAN PREVENT TOURIST TIRES!
« Reply #20 on: January 03, 2018, 06:49:17 PM »
I DON'T KNOW, BUT YOUR QUESTION REMINDED ME THAT I WONDER IF/WHEN 'TIL TUESDAY WILL REUNITE. #VOICESCARRY

PRETTY CERTAIN THE MAN WILL STOP THEM AND BE ALL #HUSH #KEEPITDOWNNOW

I AM UNREPENTANT AND I WILL HAVE ALL THE DOUBLE DARK.
NOW.

LOL. I THINK YOU'RE FAR TOO WISE (OR HAVE SURVIVED MARRIAGE LONG ENOUGH, EITHER ONE WORKS) TO GET BETWEEN OTHER HUNGRY AUTHORS AND THEIR DOUBLE DARK CUPCAKES, ESPECIALLY IF ONE OF THEM IS YOUR WIFE. THERE'S PLENTY FOR YOU THOUGH.

GASP!  YOU USED ONE OF DAN'S BANNED WORDS? ? ? ?  WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO?  GET BETSY TO BRING OUT THE CATTLE PROD ALREADY?  IT ISN'T EVEN MARCH YET.

NOBODY TELLS ME WHAT TO DO OR SAY. OK, MAYBE ONE PERSON. OR TWO PEOPLE. OR LOTS OF PEOPLE. BUT I SELECTIVELY LISTEN!


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Offline geronl

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Re: CAPS-LOCK WEDNESDAY: ONLY _YOU_ CAN PREVENT TOURIST TIRES!
« Reply #21 on: January 03, 2018, 07:19:33 PM »

ALL OF THE GAS.  AND NONE OF THE GAS.  SIMULTANEOUSLY.  YOU WON'T KNOW FOR SURE UNTIL YOU LOOK IN THE TANK.  IT'S SCHRODINGER'S GAS.

MAALOX MIGHT HELP, NAMED AFTER AN EVIL WARLORD WHO ONCE STORMED MOUNT OLYMPUS WITH SPACE MARINES AND NEARLY CONQUERED ALL OF EASTASIA BEFORE BEING CAST OUT INTO THE ROILING SEA, WHICH HE CALMED BY THICKENING THE WATERS WITH BLOOD OF HIS ENEMIES AND HIS OWN MEN. THEN HE RETIRED TO THE SHORES OF TRIPOLI AND PEDDLED SALT & PEPPER. MAALOX, CONQUERS THE ROILING IN YOUR BELLY.

Floyd Looney

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Re: CAPS-LOCK WEDNESDAY: ONLY _YOU_ CAN PREVENT TOURIST TIRES!
« Reply #22 on: January 03, 2018, 07:20:57 PM »
I WONDER IF SINGLE DOG PEOPLE MEET AT DOG PARKS, DO SINGLE CAT PEOPLE MEET AT THE LITTERBOX?

Offline kw3000

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Re: CAPS-LOCK WEDNESDAY: ONLY _YOU_ CAN PREVENT TOURIST TIRES!
« Reply #23 on: January 03, 2018, 07:26:14 PM »
I WONDER IF SINGLE DOG PEOPLE MEET AT DOG PARKS

WUT IF 2 PPL ARE WALKIN' THE SAME DOG THO?

Ken Ward

Offline kw3000

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Re: CAPS-LOCK WEDNESDAY: ONLY _YOU_ CAN PREVENT TOURIST TIRES!
« Reply #24 on: January 03, 2018, 07:28:58 PM »
PRETTY CERTAIN THE MAN WILL STOP THEM AND BE ALL #HUSH #KEEPITDOWNNOW

UH, I BELIEVE YOU MEAN THE "MANN".

Ken Ward