Not quite as epic as a vampire hamster and guinea pig fight, but here's a story I wrote one day just to be silly.
The Demonic Hamster Story
Furry little puff of cream-colored hamster.
Tiny little teeth.
Filled young Madeline with terror.
“He’s so cute,” they said.
“Pick him up, he won’t hurt you,” they said.
Thirty seconds of doubtful indecision. A second look at mom and dad. Reassuring smiles.
A tentative hand slowly reaching into the cage. Fingers met with smooth, short-haired coat.
“Be gentle. There, that’s all right. Bring him out and show him to your dad.”
Small, adorable, bundle nestled under her chin.
A turn of her body to face her father. And ATTACK!
Sharp evil teeth biting into her eye.
Screams of anguish. Blood gushing as she frantically swung her head.
Demonic incisors digging in, holding on even harder.
“GET IT OFF ME!”
The dreadful sound of the plop as her eyeball detached itself from her head.
The wicked scurries sound like claws on a chalkboard as that demon hamster dropped to the floor and disappeared through a hideous crack in the wall.
Never to be seen again.
****
“You know that story isn’t true, right?” Madeline’s older sister, Chloe asked as she adjusted a log in the fireplace.
“It is true. I remember it vividly!” Madeline looked to her boyfriend, Trey, who was snuggling her on the sofa.
“If you say it happened, babe. I believe you,” Trey said.
“But you have two fully functioning eyes,” Chloe pointed out.
“Two beautiful brown ones,” Trey confirmed, after taking a peek to be sure.
“I can’t explain that, but it did happen!” Madeline insisted, pulling herself away from Trey to sit on the opposite end of the couch.
Chloe shook her head. “You’ve been having this nightmare since you were a kid. That’s why it feels so familiar. It’s just not real.”
“No! It’s more than that,” Madeline stood, intending to leave her doubters behind to go sulk in her room.
“Wait, you can’t go,” Chloe said. “You haven’t opened your present yet.” She rose from her place on the floor and walked over to a bookcase by the door.
“I already opened my presents at dinner,” Madeline said.
“Not all of them,” Chloe grinned mischievously as she handed her sister a small Altoids tin. “I didn’t want mom and dad to see this one.”
“What did you do?” Madeline demanded.
‘Open it and see,” Trey said, getting up to look over her shoulder. He seemed unusually excited.
Madeline had a terrible feeling. She didn’t want to open it.
“Hurry up it’s not going to bite you,” Chloe said.
“For real, you’re going to love it,” Trey said, sliding an arm around his girlfriend’s waist.
Madeline doubted this very much, but she didn’t have a choice. Chloe had given her a gift. She had to open it.
With an ominous crack, the lid snapped off. Inside lay two green tickets.
Backstage Pass, they read. Deluxe Access. Front row seats. To see the Demonic Hamsters.
“I’m going to kill you,” Madeline glared at Chloe.
Chloe smiled broadly back, her blue eyes dancing merrily.
“Hey, these are amazeballs,” Trey declared, taking the tickets reverently out of Madeline’s hands. “And you love the Demonic Hamsters. You’ve listened to their CDs with me, loads of times.”
“They still make CDs? How quaint,” Chloe said.
“Yeah the demonic hamsters are old school. You can’t find anything of theirs online. No MP3's, no YouTube videos. Nothing.”
“OOH, how strange and mysterious!” Chloe said.
“Shut up, Chloe,” Madeline snapped.
“I don’t get why you’re acting like this,” Trey said. “These tickets cost me five paychecks.”
Madeline was startled. “You bought these?”
“Yeah. I’ve wanted to see them live for ages. I thought you’d be excited, too. I’ve heard you
humming their music in the car with me.”
Madeline’s heart ached. Trey sounded so hurt and betrayed. How could she tell him how much she hated his music? How she hadn’t been humming along, but chanting to help her meditate and drown the godawful sounds out. She hadn’t told him before because they rarely drove very far. It hadn’t seemed important enough to start a conflict.
“I’m sorry, Trey. I didn’t realize.” Madeline said, trying to rub his arm reassuringly. But he pulled away.
“I’m sorry, too,” Chloe said. “When Trey told me what he’d gotten for you I couldn’t resist pulling a little prank. I know how much you hate hamsters. I thought it would be hilarious to see your face when you opened it. So I asked Trey if I could be the one to give it to you.”
“You knew she wouldn’t like it?’ Trey looked furiously at Chloe.
“You were here when she shared the hamster story.”
“Well, yeah. I guess I didn’t think a rock band dressed up in hamster suits would scare her. I mean it’s not real.”
“Neither is her nightmare,” Chloe said.
“Would you two quit talking about me like I wasn’t here?” Madeline shouted.
“Sorry,” Chloe and Trey said together.
“Look. I know my fear seems silly to you guys. But if you could only feel a half of what I feel every time I close my eyes ….. You would understand and wouldn’t joke about it.”
“So what do I do with the tickets?” Trey asked. “I got them for you, but if you don’t want them…”
“Maddy will go with you,” Chloe said. “She turned eighteen, today. She’s too mature now to let a childhood fear keep her away from a once-in-a-lifetime concert. Aren’t you, Maddy?”
Madeline was furious. Furious about being called by her hated nickname. Furious with her older sister for manipulating her with her boyfriend. And furious at herself for not being able to say no.
“Sure, I’ll go with you,” she said weakly.
“You will? That’s great!” Trey squeezed her tightly.
And Madeline smiled through the knot of fear already growing in her stomach. “They’re men in furry costumes. How bad it can be?”
The concert hall was crowded and dark. Other than the stage, which was lit up like a neon rainbow.
The band hadn’t come out yet and everyone was screaming out their name. Madeline and Trey were standing in the front row. Surrounded by very noisy and excited fans.
“Everything will be just fine,” she told herself.
Soon the familiar throbbing hypnotic beat filled her ears and these wicked huge hamster balls rolled onto the stage. The balls were so large one could easily run her over, Madeline thought. The clear plastic cages were controlled by ******* ginormous hamsters. One heard her sharp intake of breath and glared at her with its beady black eyes.
Madeline’s heart stopped for a beat. She couldn’t breathe. Those hamsters were not men in suits. They were real!
Trey didn’t seem to notice. He was too busy waving his hands in the air and screaming out horrible song lyrics.
Madeline grabbed his **** through his jeans and squeezed.
“***! G** d******, Madeline. What’s wrong with you?”
“The hamsters,” she said right into his ear. “They’re not men. They’re real.”
Trey looked at her like she was insane. “They’re not real. They’re ******* performers.”
Madeline forced herself to look at the stage again. The things in the balls. They were the size of men. But they looked too real to be fake. Their bodies were longer and leaner than ordinary rodents. Their tails were long and looked whipcord tough. Their fur could not be fake. Their movements, the way they pushed at the ball with their short hamster arms was too natural to be human. And then there was their eyes.
Those horrible glowing eyes. They were the most demonic looking eyes, Madeline had ever seen. And their teeth. Their teeth were sharp as butcher knives. Long, white butcher knives. She remembered how those teeth had felt wrapped around her eyeball. If her dad wouldn’t have been there to yank the miniature killer away, she would be dead right now.
Madeline believed in her dream, right then, more than she ever had before. Seeing these hellish creatures standing and singing on stage, convinced her more than ever. But no one else could see it. Trey was still looking at her like she was crazy. And no one else in the crowd appeared to see it, either.
These demonic hamsters had come to hunt and kill everyone in that room. And no one knew, but her.
“Trey, I know you don’t believe me. But take me home now. Please!”
Trey scowled, “you’re being ridiculous. They haven’t even finished their first song. You can go, if you want to. But I’m staying here.”
Madeline didn’t want to leave her boyfriend there. What if the demons ate him? But that one hamster will still eyeing her. Did it just lick its chops? That settled it. She was out of there. She couldn’t worry about Trey. She had to put herself first.
And so she ran.
She ran to the end of the row. Then she turned, and she ran down the center aisle. As fast as she could. The exit doors were within reach. She was almost there.
She tripped and she was falling.
Desperately, she put out her hands to halt herself. She saw a furry foot. A monstrously huge cream-colored foot. “Nooooooo,” she cried out.
She crashed to the ground. She looked up. Freakishly long whiskers struck her face. As the gargantuan rodent mouth opened and the impossibly long incisors chewed her head right from her body.
Trey never heard her scream. The music was too loud. No one else in the overflowing concert hall heard or saw anything, either. Too bewitched were they by the spellbinding demonic music. Madeline’s body was never found.
But Chloe found a tiny hamster running around her bedroom one night after the funeral. It looked at her with glowing red eyes and Chloe suddenly wondered, if her sister hadn’t been right, after all.
The End
