Author Topic: Contemporary Romance Blurb ~ what do you think?  (Read 280 times)  

Offline elalond

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Contemporary Romance Blurb ~ what do you think?
« on: February 08, 2018, 03:16:57 AM »
I have finished a sequel of my contemporary romance. Since the story is about newlyweds with a baby, it has a lot of cuddling, kissing, flirting and love, and a lot of sweet scenes with the baby. But theres also an intruder in a form of the husbands high school girlfriend, a kidnapping of their son and husbands loss of memory.

Following the same structure of three paragraph blurb for romance written from two points of views I used for the first book, I, with the help of a friend, ended up with this blurb:

Quote
Ian Thornton has it all: wealth, looks, a brilliant career, and a new family with the woman he adores.
Jane Bennet Thornton has everything she never dared dream she would have: shes living in luxury, has a beautiful baby and a loving husband who, workaholism aside, is perfect in every way.
She and Ian have finally been able to find time for their long overdue honeymoon in France. Their familys bliss is spoiled by the appearance of Ians resentful high school sweetheart. After Ian finally sends her packing, though, their son is kidnapped, and nothing can ever be the same.

So what do you think? Good? Bad? Suggestions to make it better are very welcome. 

Offline EllieDee

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Re: Contemporary Romance Blurb ~ what do you think?
« Reply #1 on: February 08, 2018, 05:40:44 AM »
Hi! You have an interesting story here, but I feel like the blurb needs some work.  My first impressions:
1. First paragraph is good, although it seems odd to me that you don't mention what his career is.  I realize this is a sequel, but you might be able to entice new readers in with a little more detail here.
2. Second paragraph about Jane is also serviceable, but by this point I'm starting to feel restless.  What's the central conflict?  Is it that he's a workaholic who doesn't appreciate her?  But you just mentioned how they have a close, adoring relationship...
3. The third paragraph is when things get juicy.  A jealous ex and a kidnapping is attention-grabbing and dramatic!  However, in the very next sentence you talk about Ian sending his ex packing, which kind of spoils the suspense you've built up.  There's still the matter of the kidnapping, which is unresolved, but you could keep that card in your hand to really shock the readers when they get into the story.

Here's my rough stab at a rewrite:

"Ian Thronton has it all: good looks, wealth, a brilliant career as a (profession), and above all a new family with the woman he adores.
Jane Bennet Thornton should be living her dream.  She's living in luxury with a beautiful baby and a husband who adores her, although he is a bit of a workaholic.  What could threaten her happy family?
The past has come back with a vengeance as Ian's ex pushes her way into their lives.  She's back and determined to get payback from her old high school flame.  Soon, Ian and Jane will realize that keeping their family together has a higher price than they ever imagined."


The last sentence is kind of rough, but the best I could do since I don't know what happens in your story.  Good luck! 

Offline emmapearce

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Re: Contemporary Romance Blurb ~ what do you think?
« Reply #2 on: February 08, 2018, 05:49:51 AM »
The past has come back with a vengeance as Ian's ex pushes her way into their lives.  She's back and determined to get payback from her old high school flame.  Soon, Ian and Jane will realize that keeping their family together has a higher price than they ever imagined."

I think this ending is superb!


Offline elalond

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Re: Contemporary Romance Blurb ~ what do you think?
« Reply #3 on: February 08, 2018, 06:48:22 AM »
EllieDee, thank you for your suggestions and for making some good points.

I like the last paragraph of the blurb. Its great. To use it, I would need to change it though, since the ex is not after Ian for vengeance, but for money, just like she was in their high school days before she dumped him for a better catch. His family is quite rich and hes a CEO at the family company. I would also like to keep the kidnapping in the blurb, since it does happen in the first half of the book and the second part is dealing with Ians loss of memory, the result of incident at the ransom exchange, and them trying to bring kidnappers to justice.

Offline elalond

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Re: Contemporary Romance Blurb ~ what do you think?
« Reply #4 on: February 09, 2018, 06:53:24 AM »
Does anybody else have anything to add, anything to say about the blurb?

Online Jan Hurst-Nicholson

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Re: Contemporary Romance Blurb ~ what do you think?
« Reply #5 on: February 09, 2018, 08:17:56 AM »
I like your blurb, but this link might be of help.

http://www.rosalindjames.com/how-to-write-a-romance-blurb/

Fiction, family saga, humour, short stories, teen, children's
Jan Hurst-Nicholson | author website

Offline elalond

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Re: Contemporary Romance Blurb ~ what do you think?
« Reply #6 on: February 09, 2018, 09:50:31 AM »
Jan, you won't believe it, but the article you linked is the one that helped me start writing blurbs and I have been using the proposed three paragraph structure (formula) from my first contemporary romance. It's a great article and one I recommend  to read all who have troubles with writing romance blurb. I see I'm not the only one. :)
« Last Edit: February 09, 2018, 12:02:38 PM by elalond »

Online Jan Hurst-Nicholson

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Re: Contemporary Romance Blurb ~ what do you think?
« Reply #7 on: February 09, 2018, 10:22:46 AM »
Jan, you won't believe it, but the article you liked is the one that helped me start writing blurbs and I have been using the proposed three paragraph structure (formula) from my first contemporary romance. It's a great article and one I recommend  to read all who have troubles with writing romance blurb. I see I'm not the only one. :)

That's good. Rosalind is very helpful here on the KBoards.

Fiction, family saga, humour, short stories, teen, children's
Jan Hurst-Nicholson | author website

Offline joyceharmon

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Re: Contemporary Romance Blurb ~ what do you think?
« Reply #8 on: February 09, 2018, 11:22:55 AM »
Does anybody else have anything to add, anything to say about the blurb?

Well, my two cents - and while I read contemporary romance, I'm not a voracious reader of it, so I'm not up on all the conventions of it. But the blurb surprised me, because I always thought a 'romance' was about two previously uncoupled characters getting together. This certainly sounds interesting, but is it a romance?

I know there are romance series out there, usually tied to a specific location, but seemed to me that the usual process was to bring in a new romantic couple, maybe friends or relations of the previous couple, and follow their romance to eventual fulfillment.

People with more experience in the genre, feel free to weigh in. Is a book that is a sequel to a romance, starring the same couple as the first book, still a romance? And if it's not a romance, what would it be?


Offline elalond

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Re: Contemporary Romance Blurb ~ what do you think?
« Reply #9 on: February 09, 2018, 11:54:05 AM »
That's good. Rosalind is very helpful here on the KBoards.
Yes, she is, and so are you.

Well, my two cents - and while I read contemporary romance, I'm not a voracious reader of it, so I'm not up on all the conventions of it. But the blurb surprised me, because I always thought a 'romance' was about two previously uncoupled characters getting together. This certainly sounds interesting, but is it a romance?

I know there are romance series out there, usually tied to a specific location, but seemed to me that the usual process was to bring in a new romantic couple, maybe friends or relations of the previous couple, and follow their romance to eventual fulfillment.

People with more experience in the genre, feel free to weigh in. Is a book that is a sequel to a romance, starring the same couple as the first book, still a romance? And if it's not a romance, what would it be?

If the romance is still the one driving the main plot, I don't know what else could it be.