Author Topic: Save me from my blurb  (Read 382 times)  

Offline ゴジラ

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Save me from my blurb
« on: December 04, 2011, 12:42:04 PM »
Is it just me, or do blurbs get harder as books progress further in a series?

Quote
Something is killing innocent people around Rylie Gresham's town. The police say it's a wild animal, but she has other suspicions. There are new kids at school, and they have a lot in common with Rylie: gold eyes, super strength, and a habit of turning furry. It seems Rylie's not the only werewolf around anymore.

It's up to Rylie and her werewolf-hunting boyfriend, Seth, to stop the killers. But saving lives doesn't come naturally to a monster, and getting into territory battles could risk the life of her sickly aunt--not to mention earn her expulsion from school. Rylie has no choice but to stand her ground, protect her home, and stop the murderers before anyone else gets hurt.

I've been *headdesk*ing over this one for ages and it STILL sucks. Opinions?

Offline Millard

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Re: Save me from my blurb
« Reply #1 on: December 04, 2011, 01:01:22 PM »
Is it just me, or do blurbs get harder as books progress further in a series?

I've been *headdesk*ing over this one for ages and it STILL sucks. Opinions?

Here's my quick pass on it. I don't know the specifics of your werewolf lore though, so YMMV.

Someone - or something - is killing innocent townsfolk. The police say it's a wild animal, but Rylie Gresham doesn't buy it. She's got a lot in common with the new kids at school; golden eyes, super strength, and a certain tendency to become furry and fanged beneath a full moon. It seems Rylie's no longer the only wolf about town.

It's up to Rylie and her werewolf-hunting boyfriend, Seth, to put an end to the bloodshed - but saving lives doesn't come naturally to a monster. Risking expulsion, and the well-being of a sickly aunt, Rylie has no choice but to stand her ground, protect her home, and stop the killers before anyone else gets hurt.

Offline ゴジラ

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Re: Save me from my blurb
« Reply #2 on: December 04, 2011, 01:23:36 PM »
That's a lot better. I especially like what you did with the second paragraph. Thank you. :) I'll work off that.