A new testimonial from my Fiverr client:
https://www.fiverr.com/komikado

Sorry, I hope I didn't offend you.

Oh no, of course, not

By the way, there are several words in Russian that mean "homeland."
"Rodina" literally means "a place where we were born".
"Otechestvo" and "Otchisna" literally mean "Fatherland" (not "Motherland").
These two words are solemn and poetic, they aren't used in everyday speech.
You can say "otchiy krai" -- "the land of our fathers" (once again, not "mothers").

The government will find the way to rip off your money; don't worry about it.

You may find this useful: http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SteamPunk

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TFCuE5rHbPA" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TFCuE5rHbPA</a>

My advice is to research each editor by reading testimonials, finding one who even writes/edits your specific genre, get a sample edit, and check out the details on their website. What services do they provide? Prices? Turnaround time? Experience?

It might take some time, but find someone you're comfortable with and who you feel can best help you enhance your storyline.

This ^^
To save your time, you can contact multiple candidates at once and ask for a free sample, sending them the same text.
So you can compare their services, turnaround, style, etc.

It's in Eastern Europe, and I wanted a Russian ethnic majority living there,

You can create a fictional country, an ex-USSR republic.
Call it Swetlorus, for example. So you can avoid political issues.

Check out my Fiverr gigs:

Beta Reading
Developmental Editing
Plot Critique

When a client asks Private Detective Tony Crow

The opening is OK, however, I'd like to know a bit more about Tony Crow before we start.
How old is he? Not-so-young like Scott Shelby from Heavy Rain?



Middle-aged like many Humphrey Bogart's characters? Relatively young like Archie Goodwin?
If you say "an ex-marine," we'll expect action. If you say "a crime analytic", we'll expect less action.
Just a few worlds, and you'll tell us a lot about your book.

to investigate her husband's mysterious death, which the coroner has ruled a suicide

So why is it mysterious?
Suspicious, maybe, but not mysterious so far.

Tony doesn't expect he'll have much luck.

You could make this shorter.

His new client might just be a grieving widow who's trying to justify a feeling of responsibility by not seeing her husband's signs of despair and attempting to stop it. After all, the police did an investigation, and the coroner's findings are clear.

Too long. We got it already. Make this shorter.
Or you could just remove it.

But the deeper Tony digs, uncovering an investment-loan scam,

Tell us a bit more.

interviewing smarmy business associates of the deceased, and dodging shady characters who seem intent on following Tony's every move -- the more he thinks his client's suspicions might be grounded in facts.

A bit too long, a bit vague.
We need more details.

He discovers a connection between several murders and his client's business partner

A bit vague - 2.

which leads him to believe he's about to solve this complicated case,

Probably we don't need it in the blurb.

but things are never exactly what they seem, and he must use every weapon in his arsenal to bring

A bit too generic. Maybe you could rephrase it.

an insane serial killer to justice.

The serial killer appears way too late.
Probably it's the most interesting part of your story.
Tell us about him as soon as possible.

Just my two cents.
Good luck!

Is there a particular plotting method you ascribe to?

I believe that a good story is a good story;
any plotting method is good if it works for you.

What would you charge? MS is approx 88k.

You can see my rates and testimonials here:
http://www.kboards.com/index.php/topic,191207.0.html

It's difficult (both for the editor and me) to evaluate with such a small sampling.

Why? Usually one chapter (~1000 words) is more than enough.
You can ask for a a plot/synopsis critique as well.
Or you can use a milestone payment.

Why do some people who like [something] get so crazy about it?

It's because they are people.
The subject itself doesn't matter.

Here's a list of the real Soviet militaries who were killed in the WWII:
http://www.vladimir-city.ru/city/vov/?letter=%C0
(It's the web-site of Vladimir City, all militaries listed were from this town).