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Messages - Benjamin Douglas

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1
READ THE LAST SENTENCE AGAIN :) DOES EATING VAMPIRE CRITTERS TURN YOU INTO A VAMPIRE THOUGH?

OK I GUESS MAEYBE THATS OK IF LIKE KDIEM COMES IN AND DUNKS IT IN CHOCOLATE FIRST OR SOMETHIN

2
THANKYOU PARANORMAL HAMSTER KAT FOR TO BRING US THIS THRED. YES AND DAN THE SHIOP THAT IS. I CAN FIRE HAT BECOME VAMPIRE. MOTHER.

SRY THAT'S JUST WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I SAVE UP ALL MY CAPSLOCKING ALL DAY WITH NO RELEASE

WHAT IS FOR CAPSLOCK TREATS?

3
Writers' Cafe / Re: Blockchain - An Amazon Killer?
« on: Yesterday at 05:12:53 AM »
Since the indie folk I hear discussing blockchain the most are J Penn and Orna Ross, and since I tend to associate both with unbridled futurist optimism, the skeptic in me wants to say, ďeh, weíll seeĒ about the whole blockchain thing.

But the one idea Iíve heard that resonates as likely to me is that, in the event of blockchain technology becoming a primary currency factor, Amazon will probably acquire, rather than be toppled by, said technology. And I mean Amazon as a whole. How much of that might trickle down the the KDP system... who
can say, lol.

4
Writers' Cafe / Re: Your Best Idea
« on: Yesterday at 04:32:47 AM »
Holy Moley.

Works two ways: the angelís name could be Moley, or he could also be a mole shifter. In the second case, you should definitely pit him against a certain vampire hamster somewhere down the line.

5
Writers' Cafe / Re: Anyone Doing Readings On YouTube?
« on: January 14, 2018, 02:34:30 PM »
Well after a few tries I still don't sound like Morgan Freeman, but here's what I came up with.

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h5G_4nkvLtg" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h5G_4nkvLtg</a>

Impressions? Think I talk too fast? Input is appreciated  ;)

I like your voice! Agree that itís all too fast and may be a touch too monotone. As a listener Iím also a little bothered by the amount of background noise, but I donít know how much that would matter to the average YouTube viewer.

6
Writers' Cafe / Re: Anyone Doing Readings On YouTube?
« on: January 14, 2018, 02:31:05 PM »
Iíve been doing indie author readings on The Book Speaks Podcast since March 2017, and I put the show up on YouTube (as well as Wordpress and iTunes):

https://youtu.be/hYSsX66vb_o?list=PL9shZlLuGGAtml-mbAAjL1882sHC1SgIE

A couple of the vids have low triple digit views but most are quite a bit lower. YMMV. In my experience so far this has been a better author networking tool than a promotional tool for my own work, but Iím reading from other authors and most of my discussion is author-centric, so that makes sense. Meh.

7
Writers' Cafe / Re: Let's play: what's your poison?
« on: January 13, 2018, 07:16:37 PM »
Toasting everyone tonight with a glass of triple sec and orange juice. I know it isn't manly. I know it isn't really a drink. I don't care, because it's tasty and it makes me feel just tingly enough to enjoy it without slowing me down so much I can't knock out a couple hundred words while I watch Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee.

Who's with me?

8
Writers' Cafe / Re: Cover feedback - military SF
« on: January 13, 2018, 02:25:49 PM »
I do like the look of 2 and 3 more than 1--prolly has to do with them having some stardust behind the ships.

If you're MARRIED to "green," I might suggest something a little darker or warmer. The green in the series title as it stands seems out of place to me. But meh. Better than my covers!

9
Writers' Cafe / Re: Vampire Hamster vs. Vampire Guinea Pig
« on: January 13, 2018, 02:22:37 PM »
I demand that you obtain a hamster and name him Vlad the Impaler.

Demand.

10
I donít know you, DM, but Iím adding my voice for solidarity to say, finish those books! Iím plugging on Twitter.

&#*! cancer.

11
Writers' Cafe / Re: Critique my cover (it's a trap)
« on: January 03, 2018, 06:46:53 PM »
Jeff's iterations are very fine. I would only point out that if the color changes, so too must the title!

I Glow Pink and Sort of Stink?
I Glow Purple, ... then what? Twist my nerple?

Not sure about either of those.

12
Writers' Cafe / Re: Critique my cover (it's a trap)
« on: January 03, 2018, 02:58:49 PM »
ur all amazin, srsly ur all are.

since youve given me sooo many great comments and i have neither time nor talent to do them right, here's a link to the .psd on my googledrive. have at it, music lovers. i can haz wanna see some improvement!!!1!

https://drive.google.com/open?id=1S5mg8HNsUjrnHGe9odZnPijKPByNMmqU

13
I AM UNREPENTANT AND I WILL HAVE ALL THE DOUBLE DARK.
NOW.

14
Writers' Cafe / Re: Critique my cover (it's a trap)
« on: January 03, 2018, 01:33:16 PM »
That font is very difficult to read. It's too stretched vertically, and the cover looks too charged with text.  Particularly the subtitle is almost impossible to read with that font/color mix.

Or at least that's what I think.

ok fair fair but did you even check the toenail version

15
Writers' Cafe / Re: 2018 Author Affirmations and Goals
« on: January 03, 2018, 01:31:48 PM »
Well, at the risk of further derailing this thread (sorry, Benjamin) let's just say I won't be running short of Kahlua, vodka and cream any time soon.  8)

This is a very serious thread and I am OFFENDED


...


...that you haven't poured a drink for me yet!

16
I WONDER AS I WANDER

WONDER ECTION

WON DERMATOLOGIST, A RABBI, AND A PRIEST WALK INTO A BAR

DAN C RINNERT YOURE MY WONDERWALL

17
Writers' Cafe / Critique my cover (it's a trap)
« on: January 03, 2018, 01:27:04 PM »
Hey I just paid many moneys for this cover for my new epic urban fantasy whqt do you thin





...

(disclaimer: fake on purpose. What's the point if we can't all laugh a little at ourselves?)

18
Writers' Cafe / Re: 12 Months to Success
« on: December 31, 2017, 06:04:19 PM »
Good luck Azalea! Watching with interest. Good on you for taking the plunge.

19
Writers' Cafe / 2018 Author Affirmations and Goals
« on: December 31, 2017, 05:57:59 PM »
I'll start! Jump in with your own if you feel so inclined. And Happy New Year  :D

Suggested format:
Affirmation (I am a ________). Goal (In 2018 I will ____________).


I am a father. In 2018 I will work to build an income to support my family.
I am a husband. In 2018 I will encourage my partner in her own goals and dreams.
I am a creative. In 2018 I will feed my creative muse faithfully.
I am a writer. In 2018 I will write regularly. I will improve my craft and output.
I am an author. In 2018 I will grow my catalogue by publishing no fewer than five co-authored novels and no fewer than five of my own books.
I am an entrepreneur. In 2018 I will have my first $5k gross income month from my books.

20
Writers' Cafe / Re: Thanks for 2017
« on: December 31, 2017, 05:48:14 PM »
Happy New Year, Ken et al!

I second all of your valuable lessons :)

21
WELL, I'M HERE TO TELL YOU THAT ALL THOSE TOYS ARE WORTH JACK-SQUAT.

THAT'S RIGHT!  THEY ARE WORTH NOTHING!

MAYBE YOURS AREN'T. I HAPPEN TO HAVE IT ON GOOD AUTHORITY THAT MINE ARE WORTH AT LEAST TWO AND ONE HALF JACK-SQUATS.

IN OTHER NEWS, STAR WARS SPOILERS:

MY FAVORITE PART WAS THE PART WHERE CHEWIE BUILT A SPACE ELEVATOR AND HAN'S GHOST WAS INSIDE EATING CHRISTMAS TWIX BARS, WHICH ARE JUST LIKE REGULAR TWIX BARS BUT HAVE SOME RED AND GREEN ON THE WRAPPER. CONFUSING, I KNOW.

YO DIEM, WHAT KIND OF COOKIES?

22
Writers' Cafe / Re: Grade my fantasy artwork!
« on: December 19, 2017, 06:21:51 AM »
Marry: 5
Feck: 3, 1, 2 (in that order)
Kill: 4. With fire.

The differing titles have me puzzled, tho.

This.

I wish the red title in 3 were just a little bigger / more legible in thumb. It's a bit lost there, which is a shame, because to my eye it really calls to me the most in full-size.

23
Writers' Cafe / Re: CAPS-LOCK WEDNESDAY: BAD BATMAN POETRY EDITION
« on: December 06, 2017, 04:33:51 PM »
BATMAN
ATMANB
TMANBA
MANBAT
ANBATM
NBATMA

24
Writers' Cafe / Re: Unconventional epic fantasy - destined to fail?
« on: December 01, 2017, 08:10:51 AM »
I love me a tragic arc. Who didn't think Lucifer was the best character in Paradise Lost? Who didn't find some odd sort of satisfaction when Anakin became Vader (debatable quality or value of the SW prequel films otherwise notwithstanding)? I've been ruminating on a sort of YA series with heavy nods to Harry Potter, but where the chosen one basically owns his awesome power and embraces the evil within himself, killing the "Voldemort" nemesis but then taking his place as the ultimate "Dark Lord." Mmmmmm... tasty.

All this is to say, I think there is a certain type of reader who might find it very interesting, if you market to them correctly and if you write it well. But it might not be quite the same as your middle-of-the-road reader. As I read HP the first time, part of me genuinely wanted Harry to become the next great dark wizard. What are ya gonna do? Lol.

25
Writers' Cafe / Re: Help wanted with blurb for massive epic fantasy
« on: November 29, 2017, 08:15:36 PM »
I don't have any epic fantasy blurb wisdom, but wanted to comment to say OH MY GOODNESS Aderyn, I am so excited to read this book!!!

Everyone, get excited! The Raven is SO good. Looking forward to this epic monster :D

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