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Messages - PermaStudent

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Writers' Cafe / Re: How do you deal with Imposter Syndrome?
« on: December 01, 2017, 09:09:02 PM »
It's a psychological condition where a wildly successful woman keeps thinking people are going to "find out" she isn't really all that.  Contrary to the bullet points, it isn't normal for most authors to suffer from Imposter Syndrome, since it isn't even normal for most authors to be wildly successful. It's one of those First World Problems...

Wow. As someone who has battled this demon (and other sundry self-doubts), thanks for that.

I believe the most current thinking on impostor syndrome is that while it is particularly prevalent in high achieving women *and* men, it is also common for most people to have experienced these feelings at one point or another.  It's a failure to internalize your success because you attribute the success to something outside of yourself.  It's going through life wondering, "what if I'm only here because I just got lucky, and what if I stop getting lucky...?" I've had these feelings, I sometimes still do, and I don't think I'm any kind of special snowflake because of it.  I don't think impostor syndrome is weird at any stage of one's career, and not just in writing.

Thanks to the OP for posting.  I think it's always nice to know you're not alone. :)

In answer to the post header: I make my plan while I'm feeling confident and logical, and when the self-doubts set in, I cling to the plan that logic built.

Writers' Cafe / Re: Confessions...
« on: November 12, 2017, 07:44:17 PM »
This is embarrassing, I once uploaded the wrong manuscript.

I can beat you on the embarrassment scale.  I once had an ARC reader point out a misspelled word... on the cover.

My shame still causes nightmares to this day.

Writers' Cafe / Re: What Are Your Plans For 2018?
« on: November 07, 2017, 06:17:41 PM »
12 novels.

Sent from my Nexus 5X using Tapatalk

Writers' Cafe / Re: Boil Down Your 2017 Writing Into One Word
« on: October 21, 2017, 06:29:15 PM »

Writers' Cafe / Re: Do you prefer long or short chapters?
« on: October 05, 2017, 06:43:47 AM »
I aim for 2k words per chapter.  I also look at it from a pacing perspective--if I hit that 2k point and I'm not at a good "page turner" chapter ending, and there isn't one in sight within the next 200 words, I ask myself if I'm rambling instead of engaging.

Writers' Cafe / Re: Release Day With Kids
« on: September 26, 2017, 07:44:41 PM »
It's School holidays here so I have two at home. All three of us are sick, and have been for almost two weeks. They're fighting. I'm cranky. I've got one book dropping Friday and another the week after, while trying to write the third. I feel you!

Oof--that's rough.  Hope everyone is feeling better soon!

That's probably the smartest thing to do. I know I should, but by the time night hits, I'm wiped (and I used to write best in the evenings). I have been debating if I've been trying to promote into the void too much, though. My time is probably better spent writing more!  ;)

I won't do the *publishing* stuff during the day (editing, formatting, promo scheduling, etc.) because I fear I'm one toddler keyboard grab from disaster.  I can write in 5 minute sprints during the day, because 5 minutes is my average without interruption. My editor catches anything I screw up due to inattention.  My brain works well doing creative during the day and admin after dark.  I sometimes dictate ideas and snippets to my phone to write later while we're doing play dough, painting, building blocks, on the playground, etc.

Writers' Cafe / Re: Release Day With Kids
« on: September 26, 2017, 12:36:25 PM »
I have a 3-year-old and a 1-year-old.  These days, I don't do anything publishing-related unless the kids are sleeping.  I plan a lot of things in advance, and my release day hype is usually just a scheduled note to my email list, some scheduled paid promo services, and a mention on social media (...after bedtime, because the 1-year-old gets grabby around my keyboard).  :P

My last year for ebooks:

Amazon: 84.03%
Google Play: 6.82%
Apple: 4.56%
Nook: 4.12%
Kobo, Scribd, Overdrive: 0.47%

My breakdown on Amazon stores for the same time period:
US: 77.2%
UK: 17.7%
AU: 3%
CA: 1%
IN: 0.8%
Everywhere Else: 0.3%

Writers' Cafe / Re: Surprise Kiss: Yay or Nay?
« on: August 14, 2017, 07:08:59 PM »
I think the examples above are clearly instances when surprise kiss = sexual assault. Really if you're kissing someone who is taken off guard, surprised then there is no grey area. You didn't have consent. And it shouldn't be depicted in fiction that its acceptable behavior.

Yes, and this is exactly what I wanted to clear up when I posted the expanded story to my short comment earlier in the thread.  How surprised is surprised, exactly?  The details matter, in real life and in fiction, and I don't think sweeping generalizations do any good.  I think that the surprise kiss is very different in real life than in fiction, and what I wrote is the experience I have that colors my opinion of what I read.  I respect that it's different in fiction.  What makes it different (to me, and context always matters) is that the words on the page can communicate consent *to the reader* even if there isn't explicit spoken dialog between the characters. That's a luxury that most movies don't have.

I've read surprise kisses that I was okay with.  I've read some that I thought were done in poor taste.  I don't judge anyone for having different experiences and holding different opinions.  This discussion has been enlightening, so I thank all who have participated.

Writers' Cafe / Re: Surprise Kiss: Yay or Nay?
« on: August 14, 2017, 03:38:11 PM »
Sigh.  I finally return to this thread and... yeah.  There's all levels of gray and assumption going on here, so I'm going to go ahead and post my story.

Not necessarily. How many romantic comedies, in books, TV, and film, actually have the "friend zone" as a plot device? It is practically a sub-genre: woman who just wants to be friends but guy wants more, so the entire plot is "convincing" her and wearing her down until the "happy ending" where they are a couple? Surprise kiss and lo and behold she was in love with him and didn't even know it! The entire trope teaches women to doubt their own thoughts while encouraging guys to not take no for an answer.

My experiences are eerily similar to what Julie has posted.  Pre-children, I was a gamer, and a lot of my friends were male, and a lot of them were dense.  I ended up on some dates without intending to.  (Caveat, I may be just as dense as some of my friends.)

One time, I was complaining to a friend (a guy friend) about how planning my wedding was stressing me out.  Social events aren't my thing, and social events where I'm in the spotlight are *really* not my thing.  So I was complaining.  We were walking back from a grad school lecture and he needed a ride to his car (I was parked closer).  So we got in the car, continued to chat, I'm venting on the stupid wedding and how much I wanted to call it off.  We get to his car, and he suggests that maybe we should get coffee sometime and he'd love to talk about it more.  Okay, that sounds great. He full-on kisses me and then gets out of the car and leaves.  And I'm sitting there like, WTF?  What?  What just happened here?

In the movies, this is the part where I realize I've been an idiot, and all the stress surrounding the wedding is actually because I'm with The Wrong Guy.  And now that The Right Guy had kissed me, I can see it's him I should be with, and after several angsty scenes, I finally leave my fiance.  At the altar.  Wearing some crazy enormous dress that gets shut in a cab door as I make a grand escape with Mr. Surprise Kiss guy.

In real life, I went, WTF?  That was creeptastic.  Then I went home, told my fiance he was never going to believe what happened to me today.  He asked if I punched the guy.  It still weirds me out today, because that kiss was an incredible betrayal of the friendship.  For a while, it made me question everything, from how I was presenting myself and my relationship with my fiance to whether or not I should be alone with male friends and colleagues.

To clarify, I'd known the surprise kisser for four years.  He knew me.  He knew that I'd been with my fiance for six years at that point.  We'd been living together for two years.  We'd just bought a house.  What was he thinking? Don't know, don't care.  Certain movies haven't been the same for me since.  I'm not saying surprise kisses are inherently evil and can never be done anywhere ever, but (for me) there are parameters.

Writers' Cafe / Re: Surprise Kiss: Yay or Nay?
« on: August 13, 2017, 07:32:23 PM »
Very interesting article!  I, too, had never really thought about this much.  Which is interesting because I was the real-life target of a surprise kiss.  It was creepy and friendship-ending. I couldn't be around the guy afterward.  (There's a longer story here, but that's the short of it.)

I think I've only used the surprise kiss in one of my books. It was deliberately used as a product of misinterpreted signals and it resulted in a lot of awkwardness. 

Writers' Cafe / Re: Which device do you read on?
« on: August 09, 2017, 12:41:59 PM »
Survey limited me to 5 choices, so I only gave my first 5.  I read on pretty much anything.  Computer, phone, tablet, kindle, nook, iPod touch (a really old one haha), paper...and I even have (smaller) libraries on Google Play and Kobo.  I also check things out through Overdrive.

Writers' Cafe / Re: Supporting KBoards
« on: July 28, 2017, 10:09:58 AM »
Would it be acceptable to add a link back to this thread in my signature?  That way, newcomers seeing older threads will be reminded that they can donate to keep this knowledge base alive. 

Off to make a donation now. :)

Ugh.  I've been there, to the tune of tens of thousands of words lost (before I perfected my backup process).  I'm sorry you're going through this.

Don't lose hope.  Whatever you recreate will be just as brilliant, and it isn't worth it to avoid it.  I avoided mine for literally years, and when I think of all the time I wasted sulking, that's the real loss.  Write that scene, put it behind you, and move forward stronger than before! 

Shayne--not sure how using Pronoun would address the issue in the OP. But separately, I am finding Pronoun and like models increasingly interesting.

Not to put words in Shayne's mouth (Shayne please correct me if this wasn't your point), but by going through Pronoun you can elect to publish it free to Amazon *and nowhere else*.  So, you remove all of the readers who found it elsewhere and got cheesed off that the rest of the series isn't available on their platform.

I believe you can have the boxed set, but it would need to be exclusive to Amazon but not in KU.

That way you haven't broken the obligation of exclusivity for the KU books, and yet wouldn't be claiming the permafree first book is exclusive.

Yes to the above, and I have done exactly what the OP describes.  I had a first book permafree, the rest in KU, and a box set that was exclusive to Amazon and not in KU.  It didn't work out great for me, but I've heard it has worked for others.  (In my case, the works were novella length, and they're a harder sell in general to my audience.)  As with all things, it's up to the individual author to figure out what strategy works for any given book, series, or audience.

I am not a lawyer, but my understanding is that using the language associated with a DMCA shows that you're serious enough to pursue legal action (i.e., "last chance, or you hear from my lawyer").  It will likely get someone's attention, and it's easy enough to put together and send yourself.  If they ignore a DMCA, then I would go to a lawyer.

I have no experience with rights reversions, but have you tried sending Kobo a DMCA takedown notice?  If you have the rights now, then it is a criminal act for Kobo to keep it up without your approval.

Writers' Cafe / Re: Two series that are connected?
« on: July 12, 2017, 07:13:50 AM »
Yes, I have done this.  The first series is my top seller, but returning to those characters after a ten-year break (both in real life and in the character timeline), I felt like I couldn't continue it as the same series.  The new books are partly set in a new world entirely, and the feel is different.  The new sequel series has its own series name and the numbering starts over (i.e., the first sequel book is "New Series Book #1" instead of "Old Series Book #4"), but I added a subtitle to connect the series (Book Title: An Old Series Novel, New Series Book #1).  The cover branding is similar enough that readers know the new series is a continuation.

Writers' Cafe / Re: Sweet Free Books Shutting Down
« on: July 07, 2017, 08:49:06 PM »
I used them pretty regularly for a while.  They were a good site.  The note they left on their home page makes it sound like they're pursuing new goals, and I wish them all the best.

Writers' Cafe / Re: Welcome to our newest moderator!
« on: July 06, 2017, 06:29:28 PM »
Congrats on the new role and responsibilities, Evenstar!   :)

Writers' Cafe / Re: Anyone has confidence issues?
« on: July 06, 2017, 11:24:02 AM »
Yes, I have confidence issues.  It's not contained to writing, either. 

Some years ago in grad school one of my mentors (a very successful government researcher) told me that she still battled with impostor syndrome.  Later, when I actually looked up impostor syndrome on wikipedia, I realized that I was battling it, too.  At the time I was successfully completing concurrent Master's degrees at two separate universities and working 30 hours a week in as a student researcher for the USGS.  I felt the only reason I was doing all of that was luck. 

Today, I still have a voice in my head that tells me the only reason my books sell is luck.  I feel like the books I write are silly.  I wonder if people who write me fan mail are doing so because they know the books are silly, and they're just nice people hoping to give me a good day because they think I probably never get fan mail.  I look at the Author Earnings Report that Data Guy puts together, and I can see empirical evidence that while I'm not at the very top, I'm consistently doing better than a lot of other authors out there. I still feel like I must just have gotten lucky.

How to cope?  Well, I remember that I had this feeling the whole way through grad school... and I still got the degrees.  A lack of confidence doesn't feel good, but it won't stop you from succeeding if you can just keep going.  On the days when the voice in my head tells me I'm a hack who just got lucky, I fake that I know what I'm doing, and I keep doing it.  I enjoy writing the books. The books keep selling, I keep getting better, and maybe someday I won't hear that voice anymore.

And if that day never comes, that's okay, too.  My self-doubt drives me to keep improving, and that's not a bad thing.

Writers' Cafe / Re: Paperback vanished during pre-order?
« on: July 06, 2017, 07:40:33 AM »
Even if I re-publish the paperback now, it's not going to make a difference to the page count, is it?

I believe it will, actually.  I habitually do my paperbacks after putting up the ebook version, and the page count from the paperback is the one listed.  Is there a reason you're worried about the low page count?

ETA: I would just keep working with Amazon and CreateSpace to figure out where the existing paperback went.  If it's been more than 3-4 emails without a satisfactory result, try to get someone from CreateSpace on the phone.

Writers' Cafe / Re: The importance of the right genre...
« on: May 23, 2017, 11:51:08 AM »
Annie, it's great to hear that your success is ongoing!  I'm glad you're finding success in a genre you love, too.

Hmm. This post is making me re-re-think some of my upcoming plans.

Me too.   ;D
I think I'm going to switch genres after I finish my current series.

Not Quite Kindle / Re: Happy Birthday, Carrie (KB site owner)
« on: May 21, 2017, 06:24:32 AM »
Happy birthday!

Sent from my Nexus 5X using Tapatalk

Writers' Cafe / Re: Mental Health Month 2017 #depression
« on: May 18, 2017, 09:52:22 AM »
Thank you for taking a moment for awareness.  Depression, and the illusion of isolation that sometimes comes with it, is a real struggle for people I love.

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