Author Topic: Revised cover & Description...is this better?  (Read 2213 times)  

Offline Michael_J_Sullivan

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Revised cover & Description...is this better?
« on: March 10, 2013, 05:41:47 am »
First I want to thank everyone for your comments on the last set of covers I presented. I took the feedback, have done some tweaking and this is what I have as of now:

Ellis Rogers is running out of time, even for a man with his own time machine.
A Detroit factory worker, who has always played it safe and done the right thing, finds himself rewarded with unemployment, a loveless marriage, and a terminal illness. Now with nothing to lose hes willing to take an insane gamble. All he has to do is press the red button, and if he survives, he could find more than just a cure for his disease. Ellis could discover a future that challenges his understanding of what it means to be human, what it takes to love, and the cost of paradise.

Welcome to Hollow World, a science fiction thriller from the bestselling author of The Riyria Revelations.



Yes, I know the person on the cover is not the person talked about in the blurb...but considering the fact that Ellis Rogers is a very 'ordinary guy' and the person portrayed (Pax...one of the genetically identical people of the future - is more "distinctive") I thought it was important to have Pax on the cover and to write a description focusing on Pax would give away A LOT of spoilers. 

So a few questions...

1. Is this good now...or are further enhancements needed (to either )

2. Is it a huge issue that the character on the cover is not the main character?

Thanks in advance for the feedback.
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    Offline Michael_J_Sullivan

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    Re: Revised cover & Description...is this better?
    « Reply #1 on: March 10, 2013, 07:37:35 am »
    Sorry, I should have included the original - and indicated the differences:



    • Removed outline on title
    • Put "Pax" in full color rather than the monochome tint
    • Changed effect on author name
    • Instead of a pure monochrome background, made it a wash
    • Cleaned up some of the graphics and added "final" background
    • Added mention about prior series
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    Offline Rayne Book Covers

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    Re: Revised cover & Description...is this better?
    « Reply #2 on: March 10, 2013, 07:44:47 am »
    I will leave the feedback on the blurb to writers. Being a cover artist, I'll just say that the cover is gorgeous! The changes definitely work and make it look more polished. You could leave the original colors of the background while just changing the person's skin tone but that is just nitpicking.
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    Offline Zachery Richardson

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    Re: Revised cover & Description...is this better?
    « Reply #3 on: March 10, 2013, 08:04:19 am »
    I don't think it's a big issue that the person on the cover is not the main character. There are other books that have put different characters on the cover. Some of the newer House of Night novels have done that.

    As for the blurb, it certainly hooked my attention. The line about Ellis doing everything right and still getting screwed over makes him instantly sympathetic and easy to relate to, and your use of the word "insane" to describe the gamble he makes really sells his feeling of desperation. And of course, your use of the "red button" imagery is just classic. Based on this blurb, I'd be interested enough to give the book a read. :)

    Offline Pearson Moore

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    Re: Revised cover & Description...is this better?
    « Reply #4 on: March 10, 2013, 08:13:44 am »
    The blurb is good, the cover is okay.  I like most of the changes to your cover with the exception of the foreground character image.  I actually think the washed-out image works better on the cover.  The major problem with the character image, IMO, is the unnatural profile.  It looks off somehow.  Other than that, I think the cover is okay.

    Pearson Moore

    Offline Ben Mathew

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    Re: Revised cover & Description...is this better?
    « Reply #5 on: March 10, 2013, 08:23:39 am »
    Ellis Rogers is running out of time, even for a man with his own time machine.
    A Detroit factory worker, who has always played it safe and done the right thing, finds himself rewarded with unemployment, a loveless marriage, and a terminal illness. Now with nothing to lose hes willing to take an insane gamble. All he has to do is press the red button, and if he survives, he could find more than just a cure for his disease. Ellis could discover a future that challenges his understanding of what it means to be human, what it takes to love, and the cost of paradise.

    Welcome to Hollow World, a science fiction thriller from the bestselling author of The Riyria Revelations.

    Cover looks good--better than before.

    Not crazy about the phrasing of:

    Ellis Rogers is running out of time, even for a man with his own time machine.


    How about:

    Ellis Rogers has a time machine but is running out of time.

    or something like that.
    « Last Edit: March 10, 2013, 02:14:32 pm by Ben Mathew »

    Offline EC Sheedy

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    Re: Revised cover & Description...is this better?
    « Reply #6 on: March 10, 2013, 08:28:59 am »
    I think the new take on the cover is beautiful; it doesn't bother me that the character is not the hero of the piece.

    (Plus I'm going to buy this book!)

    Offline David Alastair Hayden

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    Re: Revised cover & Description...is this better?
    « Reply #7 on: March 10, 2013, 09:14:12 am »
    I've got two pennies in my pocket ... My suggestion you are free to ignore:

    Even a man with a time machine can run out of time.

    Ellis Rogers worked long hours in the factory, lived right, and pursued the American Dream. His reward? Unemployment, a loveless marriage, and a terminal illness. With nothing to lose he takes an insane gamble. He presses the red button. If he survives, he could find more than just a cure. Ellis could discover a future that challenges his understanding of what it means to be human and what it takes to love. He could discover the high cost of paradise.

    The bestselling author of The Riyiria Revelations plunges you into a science fiction thriller that will leave you breathless. Welcome to Hollow World. Enjoy the ride.

    Note: If he survives. Is the danger him surviving? Because the rest implies that he does. So there must be danger in the story beyond the red button. The last sentence needs doubt and danger but I don't know the story and cannot make a suggestion. I would cut the "if he survives" and move danger to the end.

    Perhaps something like ...

    He presses the red button and discovers a future that challenges his understanding of what it means to be human and what it takes to love. He discovers the high cost of paradise. He may even discover a cure for his disease.

    David Alastair Hayden | website | Facebook | Twitter | Wattpad

    Offline Ian Marks

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    Re: Revised cover & Description...is this better?
    « Reply #8 on: March 10, 2013, 09:16:18 am »
    I haven't read the other responses, but I love the blurb and I love the cover. This would be something I'd buy.
    - Ian

    Offline Ben Mathew

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    Re: Revised cover & Description...is this better?
    « Reply #9 on: March 10, 2013, 09:23:45 am »
    Even a man with a time machine can run out of time.

    Even better.

    Offline Griffin Hayes

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    Re: Revised cover & Description...is this better?
    « Reply #10 on: March 10, 2013, 09:39:16 am »
    Hi Michael,

    I agree that this sentence: "Ellis Rogers is running out of time, even for a man with his own time machine." Sounds a tiny bit awkward. I love the idea of it. Not sure of a suggestion however.

    As for the cover, I love it. Feels to me like the word 'World' could be brought to the left just a touch. Maybe you wanted it that way, not sure. The OCD part of me felt the layout of the two words was a tiny bit uneven. Obviously those are very slight corrections to what I think is another awesome cover.

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    Offline David J Normoyle

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    Re: Revised cover & Description...is this better?
    « Reply #11 on: March 10, 2013, 09:54:22 am »
    Quick suggestion. Remove as below:

    Now with nothing to lose hes willing to take an insane gamble. All he has to do is press the red button, and if he survives, he could find more than just a cure for his disease.


    David J. Normoyle | website | facebook

    Offline Katja

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    Re: Revised cover & Description...is this better?
    « Reply #12 on: March 10, 2013, 10:01:15 am »
    I love that cover! Think it's really great. :) As a reader I'd assume that the man in the cover is the protagonist however, but not sure if that matters.

    Offline Michael_J_Sullivan

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    Re: Revised cover & Description...is this better?
    « Reply #13 on: March 10, 2013, 12:33:29 pm »
    I will leave the feedback on the blurb to writers. Being a cover artist, I'll just say that the cover is gorgeous! The changes definitely work and make it look more polished. You could leave the original colors of the background while just changing the person's skin tone but that is just nitpicking.

    Thanks - Coming from someone who does this kind of work really means a lot.
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    Offline Michael_J_Sullivan

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    Re: Revised cover & Description...is this better?
    « Reply #14 on: March 10, 2013, 12:35:19 pm »
    I don't think it's a big issue that the person on the cover is not the main character. There are other books that have put different characters on the cover. Some of the newer House of Night novels have done that.

    I'm glad you think so...it's what I feel as well, but there are those who said it had to change - I'll see what else people say as I make it through the comments.

    As for the blurb, it certainly hooked my attention. The line about Ellis doing everything right and still getting screwed over makes him instantly sympathetic and easy to relate to, and your use of the word "insane" to describe the gamble he makes really sells his feeling of desperation. And of course, your use of the "red button" imagery is just classic. Based on this blurb, I'd be interested enough to give the book a read. :)

    Thanks!
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    Offline NoCat

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    Re: Revised cover & Description...is this better?
    « Reply #15 on: March 10, 2013, 12:41:06 pm »
    The cover is awesome now.

    Offline Rayne Book Covers

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    Re: Revised cover & Description...is this better?
    « Reply #16 on: March 10, 2013, 12:42:53 pm »
    Even a man with a time machine can run out of time.

    Love that!
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    Offline Ell

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    Re: Revised cover & Description...is this better?
    « Reply #17 on: March 10, 2013, 12:56:34 pm »
    Great cover. Only one thing I'd try on for size: set the tracking of "WORLD" so it fits exactly under "HOLLOW", or center it under.

    Offline ruecole

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    Re: Revised cover & Description...is this better?
    « Reply #18 on: March 10, 2013, 01:27:31 pm »
    LOVE IT!!!

    I love David Alistair Hayden's suggestion for the tagline. Now that's grabby!

    I feel the blurb is a bit vague for my liking. I prefer concrete details to vagueness like "a future that challenges his understanding of what it means to be human, what it takes to love, and the cost of paradise." I'd prefer a few intriguing details of what that future is really like. That could, of course, just be me.

    I also agree that "WORLD" needs to be centered under "HOLLOW."

    Hope that helps!

    Rue

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    Offline Michael_J_Sullivan

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    Re: Revised cover & Description...is this better?
    « Reply #19 on: March 10, 2013, 02:27:20 pm »
    The blurb is good, the cover is okay.  I like most of the changes to your cover with the exception of the foreground character image.  I actually think the washed-out image works better on the cover.  The major problem with the character image, IMO, is the unnatural profile.  It looks off somehow.  Other than that, I think the cover is okay.

    Thanks for the feedback...The problem with the "washed out character" was that people said Pax (name of the character) looked like a vampire or zombie.  Can you expound on what you find "unnatural" about the profile?  It is from a photograph of a person, I did photo shop it a little but it's not something i drew from scratch.
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    Offline Mathew Reuther

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    Re: Revised cover & Description...is this better?
    « Reply #20 on: March 10, 2013, 02:40:02 pm »
    Unnatural isn't horrible if he's gen-mod though, Mike. I don;t really think he looks that unnatrual, and as I said the last time, I don;t take issue with the fact that he's not the MC.

    I like this version better than the previous one, and I really think it gives the beautiful art a chance to shine, as before it was just too gloomy. I know that the difference is minimal, but it's just that touch brighter that makes the background actually pop now.

    Good stuff. Looking forward to my copy. :)
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    Offline Justawriter

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    Re: Revised cover & Description...is this better?
    « Reply #21 on: March 10, 2013, 02:42:52 pm »
    Love your new cover!  The odd pose of his head actually drew my attention and made me want to know more. I do agree that you may want to center world better, but that's a tiny thing. Great job!

    Offline Mathew Reuther

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    Re: Revised cover & Description...is this better?
    « Reply #22 on: March 10, 2013, 02:47:07 pm »
    Just wanted to note that I like the slightly off-center look of world.
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    Online ToniD

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    Re: Revised cover & Description...is this better?
    « Reply #23 on: March 10, 2013, 02:51:20 pm »
    I love that cover (the new version). I wouldn't change a thing. The 'unnatural' positioning makes me do a double-take, which is a good thing.

    I'd leave "World" off-center, as it is. Resonates with the image.

    Sounds like a interesting read.

    Offline A.A

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    Re: Revised cover & Description...is this better?
    « Reply #24 on: March 10, 2013, 03:19:16 pm »
    Q. "2. Is it a huge issue that the character on the cover is not the main character?"

    I didn't realise the image wasn't the main character last time I saw the cover - was looking on a small device and didn't notice the clothing didn't match the description of the character.

    I did get a bit of flack/disappointment over the character being portrayed on the cover of book 1. of my series not being the main character (with some saying they'd taken stars off their rating because of it) but YA is a totally different genre with different expectations. My cover character is also from 'another world'.

    But no, I don't think it matters and I think it can add another layer of understanding when readers come to the point in the book where the character is introduced.
    « Last Edit: March 10, 2013, 03:21:57 pm by Anya »

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