Author Topic: A Failed Writer Goes Into A Bar.  (Read 1749 times)  

Offline KP_Webster

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A Failed Writer Goes Into A Bar.
« on: March 13, 2013, 04:51:44 pm »
I don't really know what I'm doing if you want the absolute truth. And I've been doing it for years.

So I don't have a Kindle. I want one but I can't afford one. I have debts. I'm a mess if you must know, but this is the life I have chosen and I haven't given up on it yet.

When I was very young I wanted to be a pop star. I wanted to be Paul McCartney in fact, because I was an insipid child. Then, when John Lennon was shot and killed, I wanted to be John Lennon. Then, when I was about 15, I decided I was too shy to become a pop star and that instead I would become a writer. For many years I wrote and wrote and wrote and wrote but couldnt finish anything. Then when I was 22, I finished my first short story and sent it off to a magazine in Slough. (For the Americans amongst you, Slough is a very glamorous town in the South of England, but be careful - it's pronounced Sluff.) To my glee, the story was published and I was paid 6 for the privilege. This is it, I thought. Im on my way.

Then the rejections came. Followed by the disillusionment and the laziness. And I didnt get paid for writing again until I was in my 30s. And even then I was paid very little.

Then I did bits of journalism for a while but my heart wasn't in it. Then I worked in the internet business for a while but my soul wasnt in it. Then I pretended to be physically deformed and suddenly I had a book deal. It was all a bit weird if you want to know the truth, but it was great fun and lots of good came of it. The story of what happened is here if it interests you. When the book was published a book I was very happy with I thought, just as I had 20 years earlier, this is it. Im on my way.

But the book didnt sell and suddenly I was teaching English to foreigners again. Roberto Mancini was one of them, and if you've ever heard him speak English, you can see right there what a useless teacher I was.

Then I got my first proper job - on a legal magazine - and within six months I wanted to die. Instead I tried to go Around the World in 80 Festivals, managed four and then ran away to live in a field in France for 18 months.

While I was there I wrote an autobiographical book called The Little Book of Shame before realising that no one in their right mind would ever be interested in reading it. So then I wrote a novel which I self-published less than a month ago and which brought me here, the first forum I've visited in years that I genuinely like. (I think.) The book is called The Lives and Loves of Hana Lee and I have high hopes for it. As usual. I also know that if it fails utterly (as my experience teaches me to suspect that it will), I wont give up, even though I want to. Because I cant.

All Ive ever wanted to do was write. Ive turned down numerous proper jobs, Ive turned my back on the possibility of settling and starting a family, Ive lived a life mostly of relative penury, excessive restlessness and endless disappointment. It's been wonderful. But I am have had a lot of Bloody Marys tonight. As that last sentence will testify. Was I supposed to write this much? Am I doing it right?

Anyway, Ive signed up to this forum because - in truth - I'm hoping it can help me find four and a half million ecstatic readers. But failing that, it would be nice to get to know some people who go, are going through or have gone through some of the same ... you know ... stuff.

Now come and give me a hug.

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    Offline Valmore Daniels

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    Re: A Failed Writer Goes Into A Bar.
    « Reply #1 on: March 13, 2013, 05:48:22 pm »
    :) Welcome to the boards :D

     
    Valmore Daniels | Website | Newsletter

    Offline TJ Perkins

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    Re: A Failed Writer Goes Into A Bar.
    « Reply #2 on: March 13, 2013, 06:37:23 pm »
    Welcome, glad to have you with us!

    Offline geoffthomas

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    Re: A Failed Writer Goes Into A Bar.
    « Reply #3 on: March 13, 2013, 07:06:17 pm »
    Welcome.
    Glad you found your way to the KB.
    Hope you find friends here.

    Miss you, Dona, Jeff & Harvey! | Member since 02/27/2009 | e-books by Lynn Abbey, CJ Cherryh, & Jane Fancher
    TANSTAAFL (There Ain't No Such Thing As A Free Lunch)

    Offline Verbena

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    Re: A Failed Writer Goes Into A Bar.
    « Reply #4 on: March 13, 2013, 08:19:53 pm »
    hello,welcome to KB!


    Offline Steve Silkin

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    Re: A Failed Writer Goes Into A Bar.
    « Reply #5 on: March 13, 2013, 11:33:54 pm »
    Welcome!! 8) ...

    Offline intinst

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    Re: A Failed Writer Goes Into A Bar.
    « Reply #6 on: March 13, 2013, 11:56:27 pm »
           Greetings and Welcome, KP! We are so glad you found KBoards, an independent resource for people who own or have interest in Kindle, so our forum is for both readers and writers.  We have many areas that you probably will like. Have you been to The Book Corner yet?  That's the area for discussions about books (naturally :D ). That's also where you will find threads about books Recommended by our Members and a list of additional sites for Book Lovers.
           Then there is the Book Bazaar where our member/authors post about their books and the Writers' Cafe that has discussions about writing, publishing and many other topics. Here is a link to all the KBoards authors:Official master list of Kboards Authors. That is also where you will locate Bargain Books and even Free Books threads where you can get reading material at low or no cost!
         If you have a question about your Kindle or it's usage, check out the Amazon Kindle Support (all models) & General FAQs in the forum for Tips, Tricks and Trouble Shooting . Or, just ask your question. We have many helpful and knowledgeable people here at KB  and we feel there is no such thing as a "dumb" question. Questions about KBoards may be answered at Your guide to Forum Speak! linked from Forum tips. If not, once again, ask away! Authors my find their questions about KB answered here: Authors: 10 essential KBoards tips. To keep everything running smoothly, we ask that everyone read Forum decorum. 
         Another popular place is Let's Talk Kindle, where all things in the Kindle world are posted about. Do you have a Kindle Fire? Join in the conversations or ask questions in the Fire Talk area. Be sure and check out the Photo Gallery, where pictures of members, pets, flowers, landscapes or just almost anything interesting can be found.
         Have you been to the Accessories area? There you will see information about covers, skins, lights, bags, stands and many other items to allow you to personalize your Kindle.
         Looking to just kill some time while you are waiting for your Kindle or if you have your device, want to try something different? Try INFINITY Game - Word Association or The "INFINITY" Thread: KEEP POSTING...Ready, Set,... GO!!! or one of the other threads in the Not Quite Kindle area.
    Sorry for the long post, but there is just so much to do, learn and like about KindleBoards that I just get carried away. :)

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    Offline Daniel Leston

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    Re: A Failed Writer Goes Into A Bar.
    « Reply #7 on: March 14, 2013, 06:34:55 am »
    Hi, and welcome aboard.  Glad to have you in the forum.  Wishing you every success with your writing.

    Dan --
    Historical Fiction / Action Adventure

    Offline JimC1946

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    Re: A Failed Writer Goes Into A Bar.
    « Reply #8 on: March 14, 2013, 01:14:46 pm »
    Welcome to Kindle Boards!

    Offline PJHafner

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    Re: A Failed Writer Goes Into A Bar.
    « Reply #9 on: March 14, 2013, 02:57:45 pm »
    Hello and welcome, KP.  Keep writing!

    Offline KP_Webster

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    Re: A Failed Writer Goes Into A Bar.
    « Reply #10 on: March 15, 2013, 07:12:00 am »
    Ah, thank you so much. How very kind you are to welcome me. I feel welcome. I am currently sitting on a coach on my way to London. There is an old man to my left. He has warts and tics and asthma and I am feeling rather sad for him and counting my blessings. The sun is trying hard to show its face through a thick veil of weeping grey cloud. The air is thick with petrol. This is the life. I wonder what you're doing now but of course, I don't even know who you are.

    Offline intoanna

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    Re: A Failed Writer Goes Into A Bar.
    « Reply #11 on: March 15, 2013, 08:16:17 am »
    Is it really a hug you want or another bloody mary?

    Welcome. Enjoy.


    Offline Griffin Hayes

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    Re: A Failed Writer Goes Into A Bar.
    « Reply #12 on: March 17, 2013, 11:28:15 am »
    Welcome to KB!

                                                     FREE!                                                   FREE!

    Offline KP_Webster

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    Re: A Failed Writer Goes Into A Bar.
    « Reply #13 on: March 19, 2013, 11:44:37 pm »
    Is it really a hug you want or another bloody mary?
    I find the two tend to go together. Although it's not yet 7am here, so might be a bit early for the latter. Although it is snowing, so maybe I deserve it. Go ahead. I'll take both.

    Offline KP_Webster

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    Re: A Failed Writer Goes Into A Bar.
    « Reply #14 on: March 21, 2013, 09:42:43 am »
    Cheers, man. There's no question of quitting. I'll always write. I'm fortunate inasmuch as I never got stuck with stuff. Failure is freeing. I am the Littlest Hobo. Enchant.

    Offline editor_maki

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    Re: A Failed Writer Goes Into A Bar.
    « Reply #15 on: March 21, 2013, 04:08:44 pm »
    Hey KP, If your books are as engaging as your introductory post they're definitely worth a read.  I love your self-deprecating humour and style.  I know what you mean about slow sales and determination in spite of it all.  I got my first book published by a company in the States, but they market to a small group and not much beyond that so sales aren't wild.  First royalty check was less than 400 bucks. :)  I'm on my way to the first million, but only just.  lol  Like you I write because I love to write.  I like to say I pastor to touch the soul, write to touch the heart, and mow lawns to keep food on the table.  :D  Glamorous it's not, but there's pleasure in the journey. 

    Offline Desmond X. Torres

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    Re: A Failed Writer Goes Into A Bar.
    « Reply #16 on: March 22, 2013, 03:33:55 pm »
    <Stumbles into the bar>
    Hey KP.
    <Orders two Bloody Marys>
    Here's lookin' at you kid.

    Great post, man. I read the whole thing. You have a great voice, and I'm surprised it's been tough for you.

    Wish I had some sage advice, but frankly, you've got about 20 times the experience I do.

    So all I'm gonna say is drink up, and here's your hug <<<  >>>.
    Desmond

    Offline Lee44

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    Re: A Failed Writer Goes Into A Bar.
    « Reply #17 on: March 22, 2013, 09:54:45 pm »
    Hi KP,

    Welcome to the boards.  Nice to meet you.  Enjoy the community.   :)

    Lee
    Killer Work from Home Jobs: 200 Fortune 500 & Legitimate Work at Home Jobs!

    Success!! - ! 

    If you want to work at home, there are 200 great Fortune 500, nationwide, worldwide, mid-sized & smaller companies that will hire you - make that dream come true!

    How I work from home.

    Offline Colin Taber

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    Re: A Failed Writer Goes Into A Bar.
    « Reply #18 on: March 23, 2013, 09:22:39 am »
    Welcome to the boards!
        
    The United States of Vinland is out now!
    Colin Taber | author website | Facebook | New Release Alerts

    Offline Tristan Higbee

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    Re: A Failed Writer Goes Into A Bar.
    « Reply #19 on: March 23, 2013, 11:40:30 am »
    Welcome aboard! *bro hug*

    Offline intoanna

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    Re: A Failed Writer Goes Into A Bar.
    « Reply #20 on: March 23, 2013, 12:12:32 pm »
    I find the two tend to go together. Although it's not yet 7am here, so might be a bit early for the latter. Although it is snowing, so maybe I deserve it. Go ahead. I'll take both.

    If we wever do a UK Kboards meet up I'll treat you to both.....although not at 7am.


    Offline krissy

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    Re: A Failed Writer Goes Into A Bar.
    « Reply #21 on: March 23, 2013, 02:04:12 pm »
    ((((((((((hug)))))))))))

    Offline Imogen Rose

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    Re: A Failed Writer Goes Into A Bar.
    « Reply #22 on: March 23, 2013, 06:01:52 pm »
    Welcome to KB!

    Imogen

    Offline KP_Webster

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    Re: A Failed Writer Goes Into A Bar.
    « Reply #23 on: November 12, 2020, 07:08:40 am »
    Aaaaaaaaah, plus a change, plus c'est la mme chose!

    Weh, weh, weh.

    I'm back again, trying again, but this time without the hugs.

    What have I missed?

    Offline spstewart

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    Re: A Failed Writer Goes Into A Bar.
    « Reply #24 on: November 17, 2020, 02:03:20 pm »
    Nice story.  For a failed writer, you sure captured the board.  Looks like you are definitely on your way.  Good work, by the way.

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