Author Topic: Pls Crit Blurb Thnx!  (Read 248 times)  

Offline TromboneAl

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Pls Crit Blurb Thnx!
« on: July 24, 2020, 09:01:06 am »
Below is the blurb for my latest book--thanks in advance for your comments and suggestions.

I have the usual uneasiness about spoilers. The client's amnesia isn't discovered until 33% of the way through the book, but it's an important selling point.

Attorney Garrett Goodlove thought that after his firm brought in a multi-million-dollar settlement, the depression he'd been fighting would disappear. That didn't happen. Because he no longer has to struggle to keep Goodlove and Shek afloat, he has too much time to obsess over his moods.

When a new client brings in an envelope labelled "Open ONLY if something happens to me," Goodlove puts it in the firm's safe and goes back to neglecting his practice.

When the client disappears, Goodlove knows he must overcome his problem and take charge. But beating depression is hard.

Things get worse when the client turns up wandering the back alleys of San Francisco and is indicted for murder. Turns out the man is suffering from profound amnesia, making the case the most difficult of Goodlove's career.

If Garrett Goodlove can't get a grip and overcome his depression, the new client might spend his life in prison for a murder he--probably--didn't commit.
« Last Edit: July 24, 2020, 09:04:12 am by TromboneAl »
 
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    Offline Gregg Bell

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    Re: Pls Crit Blurb Thnx!
    « Reply #1 on: July 24, 2020, 02:35:16 pm »
    Below is the blurb for my latest book--thanks in advance for your comments and suggestions.

    I have the usual uneasiness about spoilers. The client's amnesia isn't discovered until 33% of the way through the book, but it's an important selling point.

    Attorney Garrett Goodlove thought that after his firm brought in a multi-million-dollar settlement, the depression he'd been fighting would disappear. That didn't happen. Because he no longer has to struggle to keep Goodlove and Shek afloat, he has too much time to obsess over his moods.

    When a new client brings in an envelope labelled "Open ONLY if something happens to me," Goodlove puts it in the firm's safe and goes back to neglecting his practice.

    When the client disappears, Goodlove knows he must overcome his problem and take charge. But beating depression is hard.

    Things get worse when the client turns up wandering the back alleys of San Francisco and is indicted for murder. Turns out the man is suffering from profound amnesia, making the case the most difficult of Goodlove's career.

    If Garrett Goodlove can't get a grip and overcome his depression, the new client might spend his life in prison for a murder he--probably--didn't commit.


    Hi Al. I love the story. Here's some suggestions.

    Attorney Garrett Goodlove thought that after his firm brought in a multi-million-dollar settlement, the depression he'd been fighting would disappear. That didn't happen. Because he no longer has to struggle to keep his small firm of Goodlove and Shek afloat, he has too much time to obsess over his nasty divorce.

    When a new client brings in an envelope labeled "Open ONLY if something happens to me," in the depths of his funk, Goodlove questions the man but barely hears his response. He thinks, One more rich weirdo wandering the streets of San Francisco and throws the letter into the firm's safe.

    When the client disappears, Goodlove rouses himself enough to file the mandatory missing persons report, then sinks back into his depression.

    But when the client turns up and is indicted for murder, Goodlove realizes his neglect of the case opens him to having his law license suspended for malpractice. But there's more. Turns out the man is suffering from profound amnesia. He can't even remember turning over the envelope.

    If  Goodlove can't overcome his depression and untangle the legal and psychological mess his client is in, his law career might be over, and his client may spend the rest of his life in prison for a murder he--probably--didn't commit.


    "When people agree with me I always feel that I must be wrong." Oscar Wilde
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    Offline Flying Pizza Pie

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    Re: Pls Crit Blurb Thnx!
    « Reply #2 on: July 24, 2020, 06:53:49 pm »
    Below is the blurb for my latest book--thanks in advance for your comments and suggestions.

    I have the usual uneasiness about spoilers. The client's amnesia isn't discovered until 33% of the way through the book, but it's an important selling point.

    Attorney Garrett Goodlove thought that after his firm brought in a multi-million-dollar settlement, the depression he'd been fighting would disappear. That didn't happen. Because he no longer has to struggle to keep Goodlove and Shek afloat, he has too much time to obsess over his moods.

    When a new client brings in an envelope labelled "Open ONLY if something happens to me," Goodlove puts it in the firm's safe and goes back to neglecting his practice.

    When the client disappears, Goodlove knows he must overcome his problem and take charge. But beating depression is hard.

    Things get worse when the client turns up wandering the back alleys of San Francisco and is indicted for murder. Turns out the man is suffering from profound amnesia, making the case the most difficult of Goodlove's career.

    If Garrett Goodlove can't get a grip and overcome his depression, the new client might spend his life in prison for a murder he--probably--didn't commit.


    Al, your Shek book series is doing well (great job!). I've got the first book and am enjoying it. Since readers of the earlier books know about Goodlove, is the first sentence necessary? It seems out of place. For new readers, again, is it necessary? Could it be condensed with the "new" first paragraph as ... "Attorney Garrett Goodlove puts it in the firm's safe and goes back to neglecting his practice and obsessing over his mood swings, even with his firm's new multi million dollar settlement"?


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    Offline TromboneAl

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    Re: Pls Crit Blurb Thnx!
    « Reply #3 on: July 25, 2020, 06:49:56 am »
    Thanks, guys. Good ideas.
     
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