Author Topic: And The Hand Finally Closes Around Our Throat  (Read 13299 times)  

Offline Becca Mills

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Re: And The Hand Finally Closes Around Our Throat
« Reply #100 on: August 09, 2020, 04:47:08 pm »
I'm seeing some posts in this thread that are absolutely not okay at KBoards -- name-calling, accusations of trolling, suggestions that another member needs mental health treatment, and so forth. I'm temporarily locking the thread while I clean up and clear out.


ETA: I've removed two problematic posts, plus a couple more that responded to them (the latter were fine but no longer made sense, given the deletions).

An FYI for newer members, who may not be aware: Not permitting public accusations of trolling, either direct or oblique, is fundamental to our forum culture. We ask members always to respond as though others are posting in good faith. We do realize that pot-stirring happens. If you suspect someone may be posting with the goal of provoking conflict, by all means report the problematic posts to the moderators, using the link to the bottom-right of each post. But never accuse publicly in the thread.

Similarly, name-calling and insults are not permitted. I realize one person's insult is another person's straight talk or constructive critique, so finding the line can be a matter of judgment. But if you're posting with the goal of wounding, belittling, or angering, you've definitely crossed over.

Unlocking now. Thanks, and carry on.
« Last Edit: August 09, 2020, 05:54:37 pm by Becca Mills »

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    Offline Decon

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    Re: And The Hand Finally Closes Around Our Throat
    « Reply #101 on: August 10, 2020, 10:18:44 am »
    Self-publishing can never be a level playing field for authors, without even needing to go looking at Amazon's mysterious algos and behind the scenes shinnanagins , if any. My opinion, but Amazon is the last place to look, as what goes for one, goes for all, effectively giving us all the same chances. They are in business for themselves to make a profit for themselves and to give shareholder value.

    For it to be a level playing field, all authors would need to have equality of knowledge in all aspects of writing and crafting a story and all that is involved in bringing a book to market, but that is not, and never will be the case.

    Each author would need equality of typing speed and the same alloted time for everyone to produce books at the same pace for publication, again, this is not, and never will be the case.

    Furthermore, all authors would need equality of disposable funds to invest in both production and marketing, which again, is not and never will be the case.

    And lastly, each genre would need the same amount of potential readers and each author would need equality of luck, again this is not, and never will be the case.

    We just have to get on with whatever we have at out fingertips.
    « Last Edit: August 10, 2020, 10:57:30 am by Decon »


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    Offline EleanorRigby

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    Re: And The Hand Finally Closes Around Our Throat
    « Reply #102 on: August 10, 2020, 11:15:35 am »
    I'm new here so I may know nothing about which I speak but... is there not a chance that the OP didn't build an audience because people just don't like his books, or feel they're too short, or dislike the covers/blurbs?

    It seems strange to have poor sales and no following, and then proclaim it to be impossible. I can't run the 100 metres in 10 seconds, no matter how hard I try, but there are plenty of people out there who can, and it is possible if you're dedicated and talented enough.

    Offline RBC

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    Re: And The Hand Finally Closes Around Our Throat
    « Reply #103 on: August 10, 2020, 02:14:49 pm »
    Is there a point to keep this thread open? The OP is dead set that he is right even tho multiple people have their experience shared showing he isn't right 100%. Further more OP failed to finish his test and thus his data is flawed or, at least, incomplete so it can't be used as a serious case study. This is just pointless arguing and people wasting time. If there was a hint of OP being open minded to listen to people then maybe this thread had some hope. Now it's just sad...

    Online Shane Lochlann Black

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    Re: And The Hand Finally Closes Around Our Throat
    « Reply #104 on: August 10, 2020, 03:08:09 pm »
    Quote
    is there not a chance that the OP didn't build an audience because people just don't like his books, or feel they're too short, or dislike the covers/blurbs?
       

    Like several others in this thread, you are proceeding from a conclusion for which there is no evidence. I never stated I have "no audience." 

    (Remember, kids. They always lash out at you where they think you are vulnerable, and people are trained all their lives to go after creative people and their doubts about the qualify of their work -- in our society we start teaching kids to attack people like this in elementary school)

    If readers didn't like my books, I wouldn't have read-through rates north of 60% books one to two, or 90% books three to four. Sales are not the problem here. Sustainable sales are. The purpose of this thread is to puncture the myth that books sell all by themselves or that publishing every four weeks is going to influence some magical algorithm somewhere. They won't and it isn't.  That's magical thinking, kind of like "oh, I can get the exact same quality from China for 95% less so let's go ahead and fire all the Americans."  Ask Disney how that's working out. 

    If I accomplish nothing else, perhaps this thread will at least prevent the next author from buying in to what could very well be a dangerous attempt to increase their sales through what ultimately qualifies as a stunt at best and incredibly unhealthy work habits at worst.  The only things that improve sales are ads, mailing lists and established readerships.  Unless whatever you do improves one of those three things, nothing you do will increase your sales. 
    « Last Edit: August 10, 2020, 03:25:33 pm by Shane Lochlann Black »

    Online Shane Lochlann Black

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    Re: And The Hand Finally Closes Around Our Throat
    « Reply #105 on: August 10, 2020, 03:20:10 pm »
    Quote
    If there was a hint of OP being open minded to listen to people then maybe this thread had some hope. Now it's just sad...
       

    With all due respect, I'll keep my own counsel on what topics my threads cover.  My experiment was a devastating success. Not only did I prove rapid release has zero practical effect, I had that conclusion directly confirmed from the source.  I've probably saved 100,000 man-hours of wasted time and Heaven knows how many books.   Every author that comes across this thread now has definitive proof. 

    Since we're on the topic, every thread on this board is one person insisting they are right and the usual suspects trying to shout them down.  The reason my threads grow to thousands of views is because everyone tunes in to see what I'll say next. You would be amazed at how many people send me supportive messages. They love the fact that I don't back down.  I'm not going to apologize for my opinion either.  If you don't agree with me, that's fine.  If you don't like my books, that's fine.  I challenge you to actually read them before you make these Olympian leaps to your conclusions, however.   

    In fact, I'll give you free copies of my top titles if you'll agree to say something positive about them for every point you make criticizing what you believe is substandard writing. Why, you can even say nasty things about them in public if you prefer. (I always find something good about every book I read, even if they aren't my cup of tea) But I know you'll find something you like about each book. Yeah, I'm that confident.

    P.S. I'll tell you a secret. If I were really that [poopy] a writer, nobody would read my threads either. 
    « Last Edit: August 10, 2020, 03:34:50 pm by Shane Lochlann Black »

    Offline ShayneRutherford

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    Re: And The Hand Finally Closes Around Our Throat
    « Reply #106 on: August 10, 2020, 03:39:08 pm »
       

    P.S. I'll tell you a secret. If I were really that [poopy] a writer, nobody would read my threads either.

    Thats a fallacy. A person doesnt have to be a good writer for people to be curious about what theyre going to say next.
             

    Online Lorri Moulton [Lavender Lass Books]

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    Re: And The Hand Finally Closes Around Our Throat
    « Reply #107 on: August 10, 2020, 03:39:41 pm »
    I enjoy Shane's threads.  While I don't always agree with everything, I find them interesting and often thought-provoking.  I don't see any reason to shut the thread down.  If anyone doesn't enjoy it, they can simply move on to the next one.  8)

    Author of Romance, Fantasy, Mystery, Suspense and Historical Non-Fiction.
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    Online Shane Lochlann Black

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    Re: And The Hand Finally Closes Around Our Throat
    « Reply #108 on: August 10, 2020, 03:56:38 pm »
    Quote
    A person doesnt have to be a good writer for people to be curious about what theyre going to say next.
       

    Fair enough. I'm going to post the first part of Strike Battleship Argent here. It's my best book. Since you (and several others) seem to have this need to question my talent, how about you and the rest of the writing experts hereabouts go through this line by line and teach me to be a better writer? I wish to learn. 

    Then we'll let the readers of this thread decide if your critique has any credibility or not.  I'll put Argent up against any of my competitors. This is my 'A' game.  This is the first chapter of a 300,000 word series. 

    This is your big chance, Shayne! This is you and the rest of the board's chance to show the world just how [poopy] a writer I am. ;)  Bring it on! 

    "Alright, Hunter, let's have it."

    Deep space pilots called the Jupiter Skyway Approach Port "Max Boomtown." The value of the cargo passing through the facility on any given day could easily rival the total output of one or more colonies along the Reach. The man in charge of it all was a no-nonsense merchant marine inspector by the name of Jeremiah Foobing.

    "Honestly, Inspector, I can't believe you, of all people, could think I would violate fleet contraband policy." Jason Hunter was standing with his hands folded behind his back and wearing his most un-threatening expression along with his flawlessly pressed and shined Skywatch officer's uniform.

    Around the inspector's office hummed the vital operations of Merchant Customs Authority. Max Boomtown was one of the largest civilian freight inspection stations in the Core Sector, often processing more than 100 ships a day ranging in size from personal interplanetary cruisers to billion-ton star trains.

    "Sure you don't want to come to the party?" Hunter asked, trying to distract the overworked customs officer.

    Inspector Foobing sat at his desk, fiddling with fiddly scraps of paper. He believed computers were 100% of the reason his numbers failed to add up correctly, so he kept all his records in writing. His prodigious weight scarcely fit between his sagging desk and the wall. The office looked like an 18th century British librarian's closet, with tiny wooden drawers, brass cabinet fittings and enough accounting books to sink a small rowboat. Out the window behind him, Hunter could see the line of ships docked for inspection. His shuttle was the closest and the smallest by a factor of at least six.

    "Hunter every time you come through here, we go through the same dance. You and I both know you're carrying illegal booze. I call you on it. You deny it. Then I have to decide if I want to send a squad of officers out to climb through your ship deck by deck looking for it. The next time I'm just going to shoot you. It's less paperwork. Get that juiced-up hot rod off my docks." Foobing shoved a customs clearance into Hunters hands and waddled towards the door, wheezing impatiently.

    "It's going to be a bash, Inspector. Sure you won't--"

    "Get out, Hunter!" Foobing shouted across the bustling customs office.

    "Just one drink?" he called back.

    "OUT!" The voice echoed.

    Moments later, Hunter spied his favorite Boomtown official. She went by the name Tisalee, and she had been persuaded on multiple occasions to let the captain skate by when the Inspector wasn't looking. He snuck up on her desk and appeared from behind her overhead cabinets.

    "Hi," Hunter grinned. "Miss me?"

    "You get out of here!" Tisalee whispered urgently. "The last time you and that--that creature almost got me fired!" The captain was leaning over the half-height wall to look down on her desk. He picked up her tablet and flipped through the pages nonchalantly.

    "I see you're still reading those naughty books with the shirtless pirate captains on the covers," Hunter teased as he raised an eyebrow. "Ooh, the pirate has a tomato..." Tisalee ripped the tablet out of his hands and put it in a drawer.

    "Do I have to call security?"

    "Oh, don't be like that," the captain replied, reclining his chin on his arms and over-doing the smoldering look. "I was going to invite you to our party. Annora got her SAR ticket. We're flying in to Scary's for a drink and dinner and maybe a little something extra. That sounds like something you would have jumped at before you turned into Tisalee the worker bee."

    She actually hesitated, looking into Jason's dancing eyes and gazing at his sandy boyish hair for a moment and remembering how many times he was the only reason she smiled. Then she remembered the time she had to be bailed out of jail half-dressed and her expression darkened again. "I have plans."

    "Oh well, I tried. Say hi to your mom for me." Hunter sauntered off. "Hey Mike! How's the new sled?" Tisalee watched as the captain greeted at least five more people before walking out into the softlock.

    She quickly suppressed her second thoughts and went back to her rows and columns of numbers.

    Online Corvid

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    Re: And The Hand Finally Closes Around Our Throat
    « Reply #109 on: August 10, 2020, 04:00:29 pm »
    I enjoy Shane's threads.  While I don't always agree with everything, I find them interesting and often thought-provoking.  I don't see any reason to shut the thread down.  If anyone doesn't enjoy it, they can simply move on to the next one.  8)

    Agreed.  :)


    Offline ShayneRutherford

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    Re: And The Hand Finally Closes Around Our Throat
    « Reply #110 on: August 10, 2020, 04:16:37 pm »
       

    Fair enough. I'm going to post the first part of Strike Battleship Argent here. It's my best book. Since you (and several others) seem to have this need to question my talent, how about you and the rest of the writing experts hereabouts go through this line by line and teach me to be a better writer? I wish to learn. 

    Then we'll let the readers of this thread decide if your critique has any credibility or not.  I'll put Argent up against any of my competitors. This is my 'A' game.  This is the first chapter of a 300,000 word series. 

    This is your big chance, Shayne! This is you and the rest of the board's chance to show the world just how [poopy] a writer I am. ;)  Bring it on! 


    Sorry, dude. I could not possibly be less interested in offering you a critique of your story. You say you wish to learn, but you obviously dont. Because the last time you asked what was wrong with one of your stories, and I gave you my opinion as a reader, you immediately told me that my opinion was wrong. So why would I waste my time just to be told, again, that Im wrong?
             

    Online Shane Lochlann Black

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    Re: And The Hand Finally Closes Around Our Throat
    « Reply #111 on: August 10, 2020, 04:20:38 pm »
    Quote
    I could not possibly be less interested in offering you a critique of your story.
       

    Let the record show you were given a free and clear chance to prove to the world I'm a [poopy] writer and you walked away.   

    Quote
    So why would I waste my time just to be told, again, that I�m wrong?

    What difference does it make what I think? This thread has six thousand views! You have a worldwide audience on the edge of their seat waiting to hear how bad I am at writing!   
    « Last Edit: August 10, 2020, 04:23:01 pm by Shane Lochlann Black »

    Offline ShayneRutherford

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    Re: And The Hand Finally Closes Around Our Throat
    « Reply #112 on: August 10, 2020, 04:23:51 pm »
       

    Let the record show you were given a free and clear chance to prove to the world I'm a [poopy] writer and you walked away.
    I so stipulate. Im not the one with a need to prove anything. People can make up their minds all on their own.
             

    Online Shane Lochlann Black

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    Re: And The Hand Finally Closes Around Our Throat
    « Reply #113 on: August 10, 2020, 04:27:39 pm »
    Quote
    People can make up their minds all on their own.
       

    Agreed.  Shayne decided not to step into the batter's box. If anyone else reading this thread would like to describe my alleged lack of talent in detail and prove to the world I'm a [poopy] writer, feel free.  We'll let the audience decide if your critique has any credibility or not.

    Now you might be asking yourself what's the point?  Simple. Every thread on Kboards eventually devolves into "your books don't sell as well as mine because your writing/cover/blurb sucks."  I'm just asking for the details. Who knows? Maybe we'll all learn to be as flawless and as effortlessly talented as the Bubclub? 

    If I'm as bad as they allege, it should be as obvious as a corpse in a flower shop, right?  Let's watch. 
    « Last Edit: August 10, 2020, 04:35:11 pm by Shane Lochlann Black »

    Offline ShayneRutherford

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    Re: And The Hand Finally Closes Around Our Throat
    « Reply #114 on: August 10, 2020, 04:36:19 pm »
       

    Agreed.  Shayne decided not to step into the batter's box. If anyone else reading this thread would like to describe my alleged lack of talent in detail and prove to the world I'm a [poopy] writer, feel free.  We'll let the audience decide if your critique has any credibility or not.
    Just curious... if someone does take you up on this oh so magnanimous offer, and other people agree that the critique has credibility, what then?
             

    Offline blubarry

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    Re: And The Hand Finally Closes Around Our Throat
    « Reply #115 on: August 10, 2020, 04:44:09 pm »
       

    With all due respect, I'll keep my own counsel on what topics my threads cover.  My experiment was a devastating success. Not only did I prove rapid release has zero practical effect, I had that conclusion directly confirmed from the source.  I've probably saved 100,000 man-hours of wasted time and Heaven knows how many books.   Every author that comes across this thread now has definitive proof. 



    You have proved they had zero practical effect for you.

    That's the factor you keep trying to generalize. Then you turn the discussion into a debate about the quality of your writing. It's great you have readthrough. You've now called everyone on kboards "kids" and referred to yourself as "uncle" but referring to you the way I did earlier in the thread gets my posts edited. My original, now deleted, statement about your intentions stands. I'm sure you saw it as I imagine you've been watching the thread with great delight.

    I didn't read your writing. I can look at your covers for your non-SciFi and tell you you're not hitting the intended audience. This goes for what I presume an attempt at MG and your romance. If you're looking for sustainable readership, you need to constantly appeal outside of your typical bubble. That's where cover and blurb come in. My readers will buy everything I offer them. It's attracting an ongoing audience that's where the challenge comes in. And despite others telling you that they've successfully launched with rapid release, you continue to decry how it doesn't work.

    Let's come back to those rapid release titles. Post them here. Let's analyze. Break it down via kboards. I bet you will get some opinions as to why it didn't work. Were they novel length? Novellas don't perform like novels. Were the covers to market? Did the blurbs compel? Was there a call to action from book 1 to 2? Stop playing in your absolutes and open for discussion.

    I find your posts rarely helpful and potentially damaging to new authors. That's the reason I keep posting here. Bad information like you spew is dangerous.

    Online Shane Lochlann Black

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    Re: And The Hand Finally Closes Around Our Throat
    « Reply #116 on: August 10, 2020, 04:45:51 pm »
    Quote
    Just curious... if someone does take you up on this oh so magnanimous offer, and other people agree that the critique has credibility, what then?
       

    Well then I'll have to re-evaluate my career, won't I?  I'll have to conclude all those positive reviews were fake, I'll have to conclude that all my sales were accidental and I'll have to admit at long last that I'm just a talentless impostor who will never succeed no matter how hard I work. I'll have to conclude that the reason I sold thousands instead of millions is because I'm just bad at what I do. 

    Maybe I'll quit and take up truck driving. That's what you want, isn't it? Discourage someone until they quit? God knows we've seen enough of that over the years around here. 

    Taking a hell of a lot of practice swings, there, Shayne.  Are you going to step up to the plate or not? 

    Offline MMSN

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    Re: And The Hand Finally Closes Around Our Throat
    « Reply #117 on: August 10, 2020, 04:49:19 pm »
       

    Fair enough. I'm going to post the first part of Strike Battleship Argent here. It's my best book. Since you (and several others) seem to have this need to question my talent, how about you and the rest of the writing experts hereabouts go through this line by line and teach me to be a better writer? I wish to learn. 



    Shane-- I think you have a great deal of writing talent and I enjoy your posts. But you asked, so... [Remember, this is purely my opinion, feel free to totally ignore.]

    First sentence of chapter is indented.
    Formatting is not justified.
    correctly, so he kept---- unnecessary comma
    around the inspector---be better to capitalize the I
    into Hunters hand----missing apostrophe
    "dancing eyes"---cliche
    Hunter every time---missing comma after Hunter
    Then she remembered---sentence started with preposition, a no-no (I do it too)
    Numerous sentence fragments (missing sentence subject).

     ;D

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    Re: And The Hand Finally Closes Around Our Throat
    « Reply #118 on: August 10, 2020, 04:55:22 pm »
    Even if it were true that it's impossible to succeed without an established readership and a (presumably large) mailing list of people who will actually pay for or borrow one's books, how do you imagine other authors acquire this dedicated readership and mailing list? Did they not grow that readership organically, getting eyes on the book by free promos, cross-promo, ads, or whatever else, and picking up people who liked the books enough to pick up the next one? Unless folks are actually utilizing click farms or something, how else are they building their readership, and what is keeping other, equally talented writers from doing so?

    Specifically, if you've been publishing all these years, what has kept you from growing your readership and mailing list? Is the theory that it's due to Amazon's evil? But then, why DOES it work for other people? Is it a plot against specific-you, a plot in favor of some hypothetical group whom Amazon has advantaged for reasons of their own, or what? I'm still not clear on this. What do you see standing in your way that is not also standing in everybody else's way?
     

    Offline ShayneRutherford

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    Re: And The Hand Finally Closes Around Our Throat
    « Reply #119 on: August 10, 2020, 04:58:33 pm »
       

    Well then I'll have to re-evaluate my career, won't I?  I'll have to conclude all those positive reviews were fake...

    What about all the negative reviews? Are they real?




    Maybe I'll quit and take up truck driving. That's what you want, isn't it? Discourage someone until they quit? God knows we've seen enough of that over the years around here. 

    Taking a hell of a lot of practice swings, there, Shayne.  Are you going to step up to the plate or not?

    I dont want to discourage anyone until they quit. I dont want to discourage people at all. Thats the problem. I think a lot of your comments are probably very discouraging to new writers, which is why I wont let them stand unchallenged.

    And I already told you, Im not wasting my time on a crit of your chapter. Last time, when you were lamenting that no one was buying your middle grade stuff I read part of your Look Inside and offered you some crit on it that I thought might be helpful to you. And I was immediately rebuffed and told I was wrong. So, I tried to help you, and you didnt want that help, so now my comments are for the other people reading this thread.
             

    Online Shane Lochlann Black

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    Re: And The Hand Finally Closes Around Our Throat
    « Reply #120 on: August 10, 2020, 04:59:26 pm »
    Quote
    Then you turn the discussion into a debate about the quality of your writing.
       

    On the contrary, YOU turned it into a discussion of the quality of my writing.   

    Quote
    This goes for what I presume an attempt at MG and your romance.
       

    Most of those covers are seven and eight years old. I haven't written nor have I made any attempt to sell romance books since 2014. 

    Quote
    And despite others telling you that they've successfully launched with rapid release, you continue to decry how it doesn't work.
       

    Rapid release has zero effect on sales. If all you do is write fast and publish fast you will end up with a long list of invisible books. I have documented proof directly from Amazon.     

    Quote
    Let's come back to those rapid release titles. Post them here. Let's analyze.
       

    I can save  us all the time and trouble.  "Your covers suck, your blurbs suck, you're a [poopy] writer, they aren't novel length, they're priced too high." 

    For the record, the only reason they aren't novel-length is because I was told rapid release is the road to Oz. 

    And if you're having trouble finding my books at this point, I'm afraid there's not a hell of a lot I can do to help you. 

    Quote
    I find your posts rarely helpful and potentially damaging to new authors.
       

    Opinions are like [Uranus]s.  Everybody's got one.   

    Quote
    Bad information like you spew is dangerous.
       

    Encouraging authors to engage in self-destructive work habits is dangerous. 

    Online Shane Lochlann Black

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    Re: And The Hand Finally Closes Around Our Throat
    « Reply #121 on: August 10, 2020, 05:13:36 pm »
    Quote
    how do you imagine other authors acquire this dedicated readership and mailing list?

    Bookbub. Or they got their start in 2011 and took advantage of the sparse competition and enormously powerful built-in advantages. They also probably got head starts on their mailing lists and participated in numerous box set groups.  They likely chose to-market genres and stayed in their lane. 

    I didn't do any of that. I went into writing as a creative outlet. It wasn't until my blood-soaked, broken body was fished out of a trash dumpster that I learned my lesson about how un-creative this business really is.  It's like directing a Star Wars movie. The audience hates your ******* guts because you won't do anything creative with the characters, but insists that every movie must have TIE fighters, star destroyers, Darth Vader and lightsabers or you're a stupidface.  Then they run to YouTube and post six hundred thousand hours of complaining about it. 

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    Did they not grow that readership organically, getting eyes on the book by free promos, cross-promo, ads, or whatever else, and picking up people who liked the books enough to pick up the next one?
       

    If someone discovers your book on their own and buys it, that's an organic sale. Any effort by you to invite them to buy the book disqualifies it as an organic sale.  Organic no longer exists because why give visibility away free when you can sell it? 

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    Specifically, if you've been publishing all these years, what has kept you from growing your readership and mailing list?
       

    Nothing. I have grown my readership and mailing list.   

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    Is the theory that it's due to Amazon's evil?
     

    I didn't say Amazon was evil. I said the New Releases list isn't a new releases list and that as a result, rapid release is pointless.   

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    But then, why DOES it work for other people?
       

    Because they all have talent and everybody loves them. Meanwhile I have none and that's why everybody hates me.   

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    What do you see standing in your way that is not also standing in everybody else's way?
       

    At this point if I had enough cash to spend on ads I could retire. Hell, at this point a couple thousand bucks would be the ball game. I'd have a big enough list to sustain my career forever. 

    « Last Edit: August 10, 2020, 05:17:38 pm by Shane Lochlann Black »

    Online Usedtoposthere

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    Re: And The Hand Finally Closes Around Our Throat
    « Reply #122 on: August 10, 2020, 05:27:15 pm »
    Do you imagine that other people spent money they did not earn from writing on their ads? Generally not.

    We all started in the same place. With a book. Probably not knowing much.

    If it's box sets--you could have done them.

    If it's BookBub--it's a curated list. Selection isn't due to black magic, and they don't throw a dart at a bunch of book covers. You can also apply for it over and over again.

    If it's ads--you could have taken out ads.

    Organic sales come mainly from word of mouth. Believe it or not. **ETA: And reviews, and the snowball effect of having a book on the charts.***

    I'm afraid I still don't get it. If a couple thousand bucks would set you up so you could retire forever, why don't you advertise with the money you DO have now and scaffold? Reinvest the proceeds. If you're sure the books will delight readers, why not? That's what other authors have done. Virtually nobody comes in with $100,000 (from their venture-capital days?) and says, let me build my empire, because those fool readers will buy anything if it has a pretty cover--and somehow they will keep on buying my future books, because .... ????

    I've got a reasonably large mailing list, 31 books out, audio on all 31, translations on many, and have been very successful for 8 years now. But let me tell you--no way could a couple thousand bucks in ads set me up to retire forever, not in the sense of continuing my current income. And I'm 61. :) Publishing doesn't work that way.

    Good luck. Back to work for me.

    « Last Edit: August 10, 2020, 05:41:07 pm by Usedtoposthere »

    Online Shane Lochlann Black

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    Re: And The Hand Finally Closes Around Our Throat
    « Reply #123 on: August 10, 2020, 05:34:43 pm »
    Quote
    Last time, when you were lamenting that no one was buying your middle grade stuff I read part of your Look Inside and offered you some crit on it that I thought might be helpful to you.
       

    Yes. I remember that critique well. You zeroed in on the personality of my main character.  You said nothing about the quality of the writing. You said nothing about voice or craft or anything that might qualify as literary critique. You focused instead on Jessica, because she's happy and optimistic and bubbly and we just can't HAVE that in 2020, now can we?  "Uhh, she sounds too young. Uhh, she sounds like she's mentally handicapped. Uhh, she doesn't act her age." Blah blah. 

    No, in this day and age, characters have to be dark, brooding, homicidal nihilists with a side of atheism and a healthy appetite for sexual violence.  Go watch "The Boys" on Amazon. I remember not all that long ago when superheroes were actually heroes. Not any more.  Now all they need are super powers. Then they qualify to star in a television series about naked, wanton savagery and brutality. 

    So you and numerous others hereabouts pounced on Jessica because she isn't a soulless ghoul. You couldn't find anything wrong with the writing so you took a swipe at what you could and you actually expected me to abandon my main character. There's no writer alive who would do that, but you knew that too. All you wanted was a fait accompli.  "Oh, you're not going to drown your main character in a sink?  Well you just won't accept criticism, then." 

    That's why you're avoiding the subject now. Truth is you can't find anything substantive about my writing to criticize, so you're dancing around the subject or bringing up other books where you think you had some kind of advantage. 

    If you want my honest opinion, I hope Jessica keeps people awake at night. I hope they grind their teeth at how good and kind she is. I don't care if I sell my last book from under a newspaper living in an alley someplace. I will never abandon my characters. 
    « Last Edit: August 10, 2020, 05:40:49 pm by Shane Lochlann Black »

    Offline Flying Pizza Pie

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    Re: And The Hand Finally Closes Around Our Throat
    « Reply #124 on: August 10, 2020, 05:40:09 pm »
    Shane, not everyone uses grammar and syntax the same way, but most everyone uses punctuation in a similar manner. Aside from the inspector/Inspector item, there's also "we're flying in to" instead of into, and later "into Hunters hands" should be Hunter's, it's possessive, right? There are probably six or seven places I'd use a comma (certainly after "Hey" to start a sentence), so I'd say based on a couple pages of text, your editing might need to be stronger.

    As for the story itself, it's not bad, but places like "She went by the name Tisalee" and the beginning paragraph are "telling the story, not showing it."

    In places like this:

    He picked up her tablet and flipped through the pages nonchalantly.

    "I see you're still reading those naughty books with the shirtless pirate captains on the covers," Hunter teased as he raised an eyebrow.
    xxx

    I'd drop the "nonchalantly" and at the end I'd say "Hunter teased, raising an eyebrow."

    Those little things add up to a lot in a story. You've got the structure, but a line editor might have made the passage you gave us a better, smoother read.


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