Author Topic: How much support do you get from those who are close to you?  (Read 1731 times)  

Offline Doglover

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Re: How much support do you get from those who are close to you?
« Reply #25 on: September 03, 2020, 03:35:50 am »
No one in the world except my spouse knows I write. I don't reveal it to my friends, don't talk about it, and no one even has an inkling. I prefer it that way. My readers give me feedback, and the market determines if I what I write it worthy, and I'm good with that.

I can so relate to this. Unfortunately, when I started writing, before there was any kdp and the only option was a trad publisher, when it was really hard to get published, my husband ignored my need to keep it all to myself and told everyone he came across. The result of that was I gave up. I can't tell you how wonderful it was to find kdp.


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    Offline RockWhitehouse

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    Re: How much support do you get from those who are close to you?
    « Reply #26 on: September 03, 2020, 07:26:10 am »
    Reading all these I have to count myself as one of the very fortunate ones. I have great support from my family, including extended family like cousins, in-laws, etc. I've had positive responses from a 90-year-old woman who sang with us in the church choir years ago, to the 14-year-old son of my editor. Amazing.

    I am retired, so at least my wife is not concerned that I will lose my day job over spending so much time with my imaginary friends. There is a to-do list issue, however, that needs attention. Soon.

    Our friends have been active supporters and frequently ask how it's going and encourage the work. Tonight, we will be sitting down with two of my beta readers for dinner and to get their feedback on Silver Victory. I am looking forward to the beating I am likely to take. It will be fun and make the work so much better.

    For those who feel unappreciated or unsupported, I hope you'll use this venue to vent a little and maybe get some encouragement.

    Offline CatherineM

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    Re: How much support do you get from those who are close to you?
    « Reply #27 on: September 04, 2020, 02:06:27 pm »
    Thanks, everybody, for answering. The honesty and willingness to express it are awesome.

    Maybe what we've learned here is that most of us are basically in the same boat, with a few exceptions. I'm really happy for all of you who get to be around normal people, lol.

    Just kidding. (Not really)  8)

    May everyone have a wonderful Labor Day weekend.


    Offline DmGuay

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    Re: How much support do you get from those who are close to you?
    « Reply #28 on: September 04, 2020, 07:30:48 pm »
    My family is supportive, in that they encourage me to write and love when they see the royalties coming in and are happy for any success that I have.

    Huge caveat, and this will sound mean at first but is important for sanity preservation: I do not talk about writing or any part of the process with people who are not writers. Because it's always painful. Normal people know nothing about how any of it works. ANY OF IT> And I've been on the receiving end of so many dumb, weird , left-field, stereotypes about writers from movies questions because people don't understand. I I just stop them and say, "sorry. I don't talk about writing. It's too hard to explain."
     
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    Offline unkownwriter

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    Re: How much support do you get from those who are close to you?
    « Reply #29 on: September 05, 2020, 09:30:24 am »
    Quote
    Huge caveat, and this will sound mean at first but is important for sanity preservation: I do not talk about writing or any part of the process with people who are not writers. Because it's always painful. Normal people know nothing about how any of it works.

    This is so true. Who would understand how we can't figure out a way to get our character into (or out of) a situation we need to happen? Only a writer.

    I was always the "creative" one in my family. It was said in an odd way, almost as an insult. I did art, and won two first place ribbons in professionally judged shows. That was nice, people liked to talk about that. They didn't want to know how I made the works that were chosen, just to brag about me winning first place.

    I always wrote, too, from a very early age. No one would read it. My teachers were encouraging, which is probably why I kept up with the writing and the art. Most of my family is of a lower education level, and worked very hard jobs. I don't blame them for not understanding and not being interested in talking about creative stuff. I learned to depend on myself, and later found online people who "get" it.

    Those who have family and friends they can talk to, who will read their work? Treasure them, for they are a rare beast.

    Offline Usedtoposthere

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    Re: How much support do you get from those who are close to you?
    « Reply #30 on: September 05, 2020, 02:40:26 pm »
    My family is supportive, in that they encourage me to write and love when they see the royalties coming in and are happy for any success that I have.

    Huge caveat, and this will sound mean at first but is important for sanity preservation: I do not talk about writing or any part of the process with people who are not writers. Because it's always painful. Normal people know nothing about how any of it works. ANY OF IT> And I've been on the receiving end of so many dumb, weird , left-field, stereotypes about writers from movies questions because people don't understand. I I just stop them and say, "sorry. I don't talk about writing. It's too hard to explain."
    Interesting. I haven't found this to be true at all. Maybe about the whole publishing thing (though my husband & friends have been helpful with that as well), but definitely not about writing. I've always talked over stories with my sister, husband, sons, friends, whoever. It's no different from talking about people you know, really. Also, many of my family/friends have much more imagination than I do.

    But then, I don't really know "how it works" either. I just write stories.

    ETA: The creative process really seems similar to other creative fields. I had a sister who was a designer--she was the one I talked most with about stories. I have one who's a choreographer. All of our processes, fears, feelings have been similar, right down to when the project really starts coming together & you get immersed, the need to try stuff until something works, the need to be alone in order to work, etc.
    « Last Edit: September 05, 2020, 02:43:28 pm by Usedtoposthere »

    Offline Lorri Moulton [Lavender Lass Books]

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    Re: How much support do you get from those who are close to you?
    « Reply #31 on: September 05, 2020, 04:02:54 pm »
    My family is supportive, in that they encourage me to write and love when they see the royalties coming in and are happy for any success that I have.

    Huge caveat, and this will sound mean at first but is important for sanity preservation: I do not talk about writing or any part of the process with people who are not writers. Because it's always painful. Normal people know nothing about how any of it works. ANY OF IT> And I've been on the receiving end of so many dumb, weird , left-field, stereotypes about writers from movies questions because people don't understand. I I just stop them and say, "sorry. I don't talk about writing. It's too hard to explain."

    I know what you mean.   I don't talk about it either.  Extended family seems to think it's totally amateur and not worth reading...or like "Jessica Fletcher" and why aren't I a household name yet? LOL

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    Offline DmGuay

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    Re: How much support do you get from those who are close to you?
    « Reply #32 on: September 05, 2020, 06:50:35 pm »
    Interesting. I haven't found this to be true at all. Maybe about the whole publishing thing (though my husband & friends have been helpful with that as well), but definitely not about writing. I've always talked over stories with my sister, husband, sons, friends, whoever. It's no different from talking about people you know, really. Also, many of my family/friends have much more imagination than I do.

    But then, I don't really know "how it works" either. I just write stories.

    ETA: The creative process really seems similar to other creative fields. I had a sister who was a designer--she was the one I talked most with about stories. I have one who's a choreographer. All of our processes, fears, feelings have been similar, right down to when the project really starts coming together & you get immersed, the need to try stuff until something works, the need to be alone in order to work, etc.

    You are lucky to have creatives in the family. That makes a huge difference. I come from auto mechanics, computer geeks, HR people. The conversations are painful. They mean well, but they always ask me something so "HUH?" That I end up totally stumped. I can't think of the specifics off hand, but next time it happens, I will come back and post it here.
    « Last Edit: September 06, 2020, 06:28:53 am by DmGuay »
     
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    Offline Clay

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    Re: How much support do you get from those who are close to you?
    « Reply #33 on: September 05, 2020, 08:42:25 pm »
    I don't mind talking about writing to non-writers. What I dislike is talking about what I'm currently in the middle of writing. I also hate having someone try to stand over my shoulders and read what i'm typing. Leave me alone until it's done!

    Offline DmGuay

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    Re: How much support do you get from those who are close to you?
    « Reply #34 on: September 06, 2020, 06:28:04 am »
    I don't mind talking about writing to non-writers. What I dislike is talking about what I'm currently in the middle of writing. I also hate having someone try to stand over my shoulders and read what i'm typing. Leave me alone until it's done!

    TOTALLY!
    No one is allowed to see it until it's time to hit publish.
     
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    Offline kathrynoh

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    Re: How much support do you get from those who are close to you?
    « Reply #35 on: September 06, 2020, 07:12:52 am »
    My family is supportive, in that they encourage me to write and love when they see the royalties coming in and are happy for any success that I have.

    Huge caveat, and this will sound mean at first but is important for sanity preservation: I do not talk about writing or any part of the process with people who are not writers. Because it's always painful. Normal people know nothing about how any of it works. ANY OF IT> And I've been on the receiving end of so many dumb, weird , left-field, stereotypes about writers from movies questions because people don't understand. I I just stop them and say, "sorry. I don't talk about writing. It's too hard to explain."

    TBH I really don't want to hear the how it works part of most jobs. I don't want to know the nitty gritty of being an accountant or a mechanic or a hairdresser. If I was writing a character with the same job, I'd probably fire questions at them but otherwise I never talk about work with my friends.

    Offline Dayseye

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    Re: How much support do you get from those who are close to you?
    « Reply #36 on: September 06, 2020, 11:23:06 am »

    In the meantime, my eighty-something grizzled Korean War vet grandfather has read ALL of my books. Pretty much the last person I ever expected to be interested in them. As far as I know, my books are the only sci-fi/fantasy he's ever read.

    Please may I borrow your grandfather? :)

    My family regard my obsession with reading & books as odd, and I know they think I'm even odder now for having actually written a few.
    Typical conversation: "You're writing another book?!"
    "Yep."

    Offline Usedtoposthere

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    Re: How much support do you get from those who are close to you?
    « Reply #37 on: September 06, 2020, 11:55:18 am »
    TBH I really don't want to hear the how it works part of most jobs. I don't want to know the nitty gritty of being an accountant or a mechanic or a hairdresser. If I was writing a character with the same job, I'd probably fire questions at them but otherwise I never talk about work with my friends.
    I love knowing that stuff. The ins & outs of different jobs. I find it fascinating. Maybe that's why I do talk about my work with my friends also. I listen about their work, I talk about mine, I listen about their kids and grandkids, we talk about my kids, we have conversations. It's all interesting.

    Offline kathrynoh

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    Re: How much support do you get from those who are close to you?
    « Reply #38 on: September 06, 2020, 06:02:52 pm »
    I love knowing that stuff. The ins & outs of different jobs. I find it fascinating. Maybe that's why I do talk about my work with my friends also. I listen about their work, I talk about mine, I listen about their kids and grandkids, we talk about my kids, we have conversations. It's all interesting.

    I love the stories about funny customers or workmates, that kind of thing but the actual day to day work routines not so much. One of my sisters goes into really long stories about her office politics or what she's got going on and it drives me nuts. One of the reasons I love not working in an office any more is so that I don't have to deal with that stuff.

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