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Topics - phaedrus73

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Writers' Cafe / Is it compelling (blurb)?
« on: April 06, 2018, 09:23:36 AM »
Greetings!

I'm a recent lurker and new author. Before we get into it, I wanted to say thank you for all the enlightening conversations. Your words have been truly valuable. Most first-time endeavors prove to be exercises in shooting one's foot off, so I'm grateful for all the bullets you've removed from my gun.

With that said, I'm looking for feedback on my novel's blurb below. In short, does it catch your interest? Does anything go clang? I wish to avoid tweaking your perceptions with preambles about the story except to say it's a contemporary fantasy. It goes like this:



Freelight is a ghost story like no other...and the first thing to understand about ghosts is they're not actually dead.

Jordan struggles more than the usual twenty-something artist. He has a vision in his head that just won't go away: a woman's eyes, haunting and beautiful. They were a gift from a ghost--a red one, no less. Hell-bent on finding this mystery woman, Jordan's gone broke, he's getting evicted, and the neighborhood thug is going to knock his teeth out over a debt.

Jordan will look back on this as a good day. Because when he finds her, he finds the ghost world of Arbor Florum.

And if he goes in, they'll never let him out alive.



Thanks for taking a look. You're all the best!

Jon Aspen

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