7 Tips for Making Airline Travel an Adventure

942 Views 22 Replies 12 Participants Last post by SuzanneTyrpak, Jul 15, 2011

SuzanneTyrpak

Discussion Starter · Jul 13, 2011

Okay, maybe it's a bit off-topic, but if you plan to travel this summer, this is important information. I work for an airline and, with insights accumulated over ten years as an airline industry insider, I have developed a list of travel tips guaranteed to elevate your airline experience into a challenging adventure.

They're posted in-depth at A Moose Walked into a Bar (Sit Down Comedy)--Karen Cantwell, Barbara Silkstone and L.C. Evan's fun blog http://amoosewalkedintoabar.blogspot.com/2011/07/guest-blogger-suzanne-tyrpak.html?showComment=1310572490859#c5559494924964924426

For example (this is Barbara's favorite tip, and I'm sure she'll be testing the results soon):

6) Express Yourself: What should you do if you checked in on time, you have your boarding pass, but you still miss the flight? Okay, you were in the bar, but is that your fault? Of course not! Flying can be stressful. Relax. This is a good time to let it all hang out. Let go and enjoy yourself. Maybe it's the last flight of the day and you can't get to your intended destination. Take a tip from a traveler I met: fall down on the floor in the middle of the terminal and kick your arms and legs like a three-year-old. Make a lot of noise. Get in touch with your inner child. Expressing your emotions will make you feel much better. People pay a lot of money for this kind of therapy.

Please add your travel tips!

1 - 20 of 23 Posts

Jan Hurst-Nicholson

· #2 · Jul 13, 2011

Tip #8 Don't forget to take Something to Read on the Plane

SuzanneTyrpak

Discussion Starter · #3 · Jul 13, 2011

You're right, Jan. And, in keeping with the context of my post: make sure it's something provocative--something to get a rise out of the person you're sitting next to, better yet, the flight attendants. For a real thrill, may I suggest:

http://www.amazon.com/How-Build-Nuclear-Bomb-ebook/dp/B001JEPF3S/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1310585346&sr=1-1

anguabell

· #4 · Jul 13, 2011

My tip would be taking my husband with you. He always manages to get in trouble by a simple virtue of carrying the weirdest stuff in his pockets (I think a part of an old machine gun was the strangest so far). I suspect he does it on purpose because he hates traveling.

geoffthomas

· #5 · Jul 13, 2011

SuzanneTyrpak said:
You're right, Jan. And, in keeping with the context of my post: make sure it's something provocative--something to get a rise out of the person you're sitting next to, better yet, the flight attendants. For a real thrill, may I suggest:

http://www.amazon.com/How-Build-Nuclear-Bomb-ebook/dp/B001JEPF3S/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1310585346&sr=1-1

Oh no!
Trust me.
I know you meant this in jest.
But you cannot even whisper the "B" word in an airport.
don't ask.....

valleycat1

· #6 · Jul 13, 2011

Make your next plane trip an adventure by:
Letting your 10 year old son pack his own carryon (which will then include a realistic-looking toy gun or sharp pointy things).

Cramming as much as possible into your carry-on, making it 1) almost impossible to repack when the screener opens it, & probably breaking a zipper; and 2) about 2 inches too big to stuff overhead or under your seat - not to mention too heavy for you to lift by yourself.

Decide at the last minute to check your larger carry-on, only to realize when it doesn't make it to your destination that something critical, such as your only set of car keys, on your return trip, - or your cruise ticket - is in that bag (since you had initially planned to carry it on).

SuzanneTyrpak

Discussion Starter · #7 · Jul 14, 2011

valleycat1 said:
Make your next plane trip an adventure by:
Letting your 10 year old son pack his own carryon (which will then include a realistic-looking toy gun or sharp pointy things).

Cramming as much as possible into your carry-on, making it 1) almost impossible to repack when the screener opens it, & probably breaking a zipper; and 2) about 2 inches too big to stuff overhead or under your seat - not to mention too heavy for you to lift by yourself.

Decide at the last minute to check your larger carry-on, only to realize when it doesn't make it to your destination that something critical, such as your only set of car keys, on your return trip, - or your cruise ticket - is in that bag (since you had initially planned to carry it on).

LOL, not really funny, but this happens so often!

(And, yes, I'm kidding about the b word...but, it would make your trip more exciting!)

gregoryblackman

· #8 · Jul 14, 2011

TIP: The mile high club is never as glamorous as in the movies.

SuzanneTyrpak

Discussion Starter · #9 · Jul 14, 2011

gregoryblackman said:
TIP: The mile high club is never as glamorous as in the movies.

And you know this for a fact?

Jan Hurst-Nicholson

· #10 · Jul 14, 2011

SuzanneTyrpak said:
You're right, Jan. And, in keeping with the context of my post: make sure it's something provocative--something to get a rise out of the person you're sitting next to, better yet, the flight attendants. For a real thrill, may I suggest:

http://www.amazon.com/How-Build-Nuclear-Bomb-ebook/dp/B001JEPF3S/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1310585346&sr=1-1

I actually meant take a copy of my book in my sig line Something to Read on the Plane.

momilp

· #11 · Jul 14, 2011

Suzanne, thank you for the laugh! As a person who has been traveling a lot between Europe and USA for the last eleven years, I found your post incredibly funny

Coming back from London, a few months ago, the scanner didn't recognize my Kindle, and I had to stand in line before a family probably traveling for the first time. They had managed to pack every and each forbidden item, plus carrying four or five bags/carry on items per person, plus wearing an array of metal jewelry that consumed the xray machine's batteries. Forty five minutes later, my little Kindle and I were cleared to travel, while the family was still there

SuzanneTyrpak

Discussion Starter · #12 · Jul 14, 2011

Jan Hurst-Nicholson said:
I actually meant take a copy of my book in my sig line Something to Read on the Plane.

Of course, Jan! Something to Read on the Plane should be required reading for air travelers.

(And my book, Ghost Plane, should be required reading for the crew.)

SuzanneTyrpak

Discussion Starter · #13 · Jul 14, 2011

momilp said:
Suzanne, thank you for the laugh! As a person who has been traveling a lot between Europe and USA for the last eleven years, I found your post incredibly funny
Coming back from London, a few months ago, the scanner didn't recognize my Kindle, and I had to stand in line before a family probably traveling for the first time. They had managed to pack every and each forbidden item, plus carrying four or five bags/carry on items per person, plus wearing an array of metal jewelry that consumed the xray machine's batteries. Forty five minutes later, my little Kindle and I were cleared to travel, while the family was still there

Hi Momilip--glad the tips made you laugh!

Airline travel has become such an ordeal, we have to keep our sense of humor--or, at least, our patience and sanity.

BarbraAnnino

· #14 · Jul 14, 2011

Thanks for this! My hubby has been travelling. We live in a small town and he has to go to a small town which means two tiny airports and plane hopping. Delays are inevitable.

SuzanneTyrpak

Discussion Starter · #15 · Jul 14, 2011

@anguabell -- maybe you can rent him out. The other day a guy packed a crossbow in his carryon. Was that your husband?

@Barbra-- small town airports are tough: no options. But, usually the agents are nice, and so are the passengers (with a few exceptions). I'm frequently amazed at how understanding passengers can be. 98% are terrific...and then there's the 2% ::)

::)

BarbraAnnino

· #16 · Jul 14, 2011

We're in a corner of Illinois (Galena) so the closest is Dubuque, but it beats the hell out of going through O'Hare security. Takes about 5 minutes to check in, go through security AND board the plane.

SuzanneTyrpak

Discussion Starter · #17 · Jul 14, 2011

BarbraAnnino said:
We're in a corner of Illinois (Galena) so the closest is Dubuque, but it beats the hell out of going through O'Hare security. Takes about 5 minutes to check in, go through security AND board the plane.

Wow! That's smaller than Durango.

SBJones

· #18 · Jul 14, 2011

I wish they started to charge for carry on bags instead of checked bags. People dragging their oversized crap around cause more delays than anything.

My rule for airline travel is 'No Bags'. Now that it costs money to check bags, I will call the hotel where I am going and ship my bags via UPS. It's cheaper in most cases, but nothing compares to not having to stand around checking in bags, picking them up, dealing with carry on's.

This did not work out so well when I was flying from Manila in the Philippines to the US. I got pulled aside by customs in San Francisco because they refused to believe that I was out of the country for 2 weeks with no luggage.

Brem

· #19 · Jul 14, 2011

You know, I've never actually flew on a plane. I guess I never really needed to. Thing is, I'd love to travel one of these days. Thanks for all these helpful tips.

Christopher Bunn

· #20 · Jul 14, 2011

How about asking to get frisked instead of going through the scanner, and then loudly enjoy the frisk (a la Meg Ryan in When Harry Met Sally).

1 - 20 of 23 Posts

This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.