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Hey Brian--looks like you got buried.  Or maybe everyone PM'd you.  Anyway, just a note to say I will be PM'ing a critique. I love reading in this genre. Cheers!
 

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Hey, thanks for replying. :)

Whichever you prefer to do is fine with me. I'll take what I can get at this point. hehe

Edit: I should probably say, at least a general impression of the entire thing, then if you want to do line edits I won't stand in anyone's way.
 
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