[mikelewis]

I have been struggling to write a blurb for my novel and am finding harder than writing the book in the first place  

Anyone care to comment on the following? Is it too short, too boring?

"One hundred years ago the world changed when a group of scientists tried to control the weather and stop climate change.   They made the situation worse and in the chaos that ensued, they vanished.  Now, the Changers are back and trying to put the world to rights again.

Tom is a twelve year old boy who lives on a farm in a world of constant cloud and acid rain; a world where people scratch a living amongst the wreckage of the past.

When a Changer appears on his farm, he is forced to choose between his family and the possibility of making the world he knows a better place.

If the Changers can be trusted this time?

This is 60,000 word Young Adult/Children's Science Fiction Novel and part one of the Changers trilogy."

Any advice gratefully received

thanks

Mike

 

[Raymond Birdsell]

I have been struggling to write a blurb for my novel and am finding harder than writing the book in the first place

Anyone care to comment on the following? Is it too short, too boring?

"One hundred years ago the world changed when a group of scientists tried to control the weather and stop climate change. They made the situation worse and in the chaos that ensued, they vanished. Now, the Changers are back and trying to put the world to rights again.

Tom is a twelve year old boy who lives on a farm in a world of constant cloud and acid rain; a world where people scratch a living amongst the wreckage of the past.

When a Changer appears on his farm, he is forced to choose between his family and the possibility of making the world he knows a better place.

If the Changers can be trusted this time?

This is 60,000 word Young Adult/Children's Science Fiction Novel and part one of the Changers trilogy."

Any advice gratefully received

thanks

Mike

I like the challenge of writing / editing blurbs ... maybe that is why I've only written short pieces so far ... hmm ... more introspection to be done ...

I also tend to trend towards shorter blurbs - enough to "hook" the reader - but not enough to "bore" them (no offense of course intended).

Hmm ... back on track ... what about something like this ...??

"In a world of constant cloud and acid rain, twelve year old Tom is torn between his family and making the world he knows a better place.

One hundred years ago they tried and failed.

Can the Changers be trusted to put the world to rights or are they doomed to have history repeat itself?"

*** needs work - that was just off the top of my head - but you get the idea ***

Just my opinion of course - and you know what they say about those "opinions and a**holes - everyone has one" ...

 

[keithdbz]

What about something like this:

In an effort to control the climate and curb the greenhouse effect, scientists attempted to bend mother nature to their will. They failed, unleashing an acid rain upon an unsuspecting world. Crops and livestock were the first to go and in the ensuing chaos of world hunger, the Changers fled to the shadows.

Now, a hundred years later, Tom has known no other world of constant cloud, acid, and wreckage save from those of legend.
When a Changer appears on his farm, he is forced to choose between his family and the possibility of making the world a better place. That is, if the Changers can be trusted this time?

 

[Klip]

I really like Raymond's version.  Especially that it starts with the most interesting aspect of your story, without revealing too much.
A blurb does not have to explain the story, just give enough of a taste of it to intrigue the reader.  It's not a synopsis, after all!

 

[Paul J Coleman]

How about:

Tom is twelve and all he's ever known is acid rain and dark clouds.  The world is now a place where people try to scratch out a living, surrounded by the wreckage of the past.

One hundred years ago a group of mysterious scientists took charge of the Earth's weather in order to control climate change.  They burned the planet.

Now one of the "Changers" appears to Tom.  The Changer wants a second chance to set things right.  Should Tom trust his family, or trust this powerful stranger?

Paul

 

[mikelewis]

Many thanks to all of you for the comments and spending some time looking at this - it gives me some other ideas to work with.

I am using to writing synopsis, but as you say, a blurb isn't a synopsis and I'm trying to shy away from giving away too much plot, but would also like to hint at things that happen in the book...

Mike

 

[Terrence OBrien]

Stick Tom and his conflict right up top. Then expand on the setting in which Tom is operating.

 

[MeiLinMiranda]

Paul's is quite good. This is what I came up with:


A hundred years ago, scientists brought chaos to the world. In their attempts to stop climate change and control the weather, these Changers instead wrecked the planet, and then disappeared.

Twelve-year-old Tom now helps his family eke out a living on their farm amid clouds and acid rainfall. When a Changer suddenly appears, Tom must choose between his family and the Changers' promises of a better future--if they can be trusted this time...

This Young Adult/Children's science fiction novel is 60,000 words and is the first book in the Changers Trilogy.