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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Back cover blurb:

Fifteen-year-old Wray Sky moved home to Manitou Springs, Colorado, when her adoptive parents were murdered a year ago in New York City. Living with her Ute Indian great-grandmother who zones out from time to time, Wray thinks she knows what's logical and what isn't - until she unearths bones that never die and realizes that her parents' murder may not have been as random as everyone thought.

With support from sweetheart, Kanaan, and best friend, Amaya, Wray ultimately discovers that she isn't who, or what, she thinks she is.


Is it too short? I don't want spoilers, because I hate spoilers as a reader.
 

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Not sure what "zones out" means. Do you need it?

But no, I don't think its too short. About the right length, IMO.
 

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There's a lot to be said for short. I agree that spoilers aren't good, but some of the statements are too vague IMO. What I don't see in the blurb is a statement of what Wray wants. Does she want to find out who killed her folks? What the bone is? Or the mystery linking the bone to the murder? Or...?

Living with her Ute Indian great-grandmother who zones out from time to time, Wray thinks she knows what's logical and what isn't
I'm not making the connection between living with the great-granny, zoning out and knowing what's logical (vs. illogical?). Is logical the right word? Maybe "real?"

Is there any danger for her or others? When murder's involved, usually there's more danger to come, but it's not mentioned or hinted at. That might make for an appealing hook.

I'm not very good at blurbs, but I hope this helps!
 

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I have to admit that it doesn't really catch me.
Some of it feels clunky. mentioning New York seems like overkill. The part about the great-grandmother zoning out breaks the sentence to pieces. Coming right out and saying Wray is logical, well, it just doesn't feel right. You don't really paint the picture of what the conflict is going to be. You allude to it, hint at it. But it doesn't quite come through. And your tenses aren't consistent.
If I may, here's a suggested working version for you that (hopefully) will kind of illustrate what I mean (keep in mind I heven't read your book so if I've really screwed up, well, I'm going only on the information in your blurb):

"After the brutal murder of her parents, fifteen year old Wray Sky moves back to her childhood home of Manitou Springs, Colorado where she's taken in by her great-grandmother. To Wray, who has spent the greater part of her life in the hustle and bustle of the city, her great-grandmother's ancient Ute Indian ways seem strange, silly, right out of a kids's movie.

Until she discovers a horrifying secret tied to her heritage.
Until she discovers that her parents's murder may not have been as random as the police thought.
Until she discovers that she may not be who, or what, she thinks she is.

Thrust into a terrifying mystery, Wray must navigate the heart of her own heritage even as she navigates her own heart. And she must do it with no other support than that of her sweetheart, Kanaan, and her best friend, Amaya."

Or something. I know it need work but it maybe it gives you another way of looking at it?
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
With input processed, here's version 2:

When her adoptive parents were murdered in New York City, fifteen-year-old Wray Sky moved back to her childhood home in Manitou Springs, Colorado to live with her Ute Indian great-grandmother. Wray's confidence in all that is logical gets rocked to the core by bones that never die, her sudden mind-bending abilities and the realization that her parents' murder may not have been as random as everyone thought.

With support from sweetheart, Kanaan, and best friend, Amaya, Wray faces danger from unknown sources and ultimately discovers that she's not who, or what, she thinks she is.
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Follow up question - do you put author info on the back or inside? If so, how much detail do you go into?
 
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