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Blurb feedback - werewolf horror novel

856 views 11 replies 9 participants last post by  ShaneCarrow 
I like the blurb. It's really tight. But maybe the protags should be mentioned earlier and we should know what they're doing in the war zone and what they want and what the stakes are if they don't get it. Here's just a rough version rearranging the order. The details of course need to be yours.

France, 1916. Europe is riven by two years of merciless slaughter in the Great War. American legionnaire Sam Carter and British officer Lucas Avery tread carefully amongst the hundreds of miles of muddy trenches and chemically-polluted wasteland run from the North Sea to Switzerland. They've been on a peacekeeping mission, and all they want is to get home safely and not see anymore killing. Fortunately, when they reach the southern border, the so-called Kilometre Zero is quiet. The enlisted men are too cold and tired to pursue valour, the officers too wary of upsetting their neutral Swiss neighbours. Both French and German forces are content to huddle by their fires and let their comrades fight it out further up the line, which suits Carter and Avery just fine.

But the snowy peace of Kilometre Zero turns out to be an illusion as livestock are found mutilated, a night patrol suffers a grisly encounter, and a captured German deserter carries a dire warning. As the full moon rises, Carter and Avery's hopes of getting home sink, and they find themselves drawn into battle with a supernatural evil that threatens the demise of not only their bodies but their eternal souls.



And although livestock being found mutilated is close to categorically being caused by supernatural entities, I think you could come up with something that is surely caused by such entities. Especially in a war zone grisly encounters and dire warnings are commonplace. And yeah, the livestock could be mutilated as the fleeing army destroys them so the enemy won't be able to utilize them. Maybe "hideously mutilated" might do it.
 
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