Kindle Forum banner
1 - 1 of 12 Posts

· Registered
Joined
·
1,420 Posts
I think it is pretty good as it stands, but the following sentence ...

Something is upsetting the silent, snowy peace of Kilometre Zero ...

would make a much stronger opening.

I would use it a single line (including the ellipsis) above the existing 1st paragraph. It is impactful and should draw readers in. You will, of course need to write a new sentence for the second paragraph if you were to go with it.
 
1 - 1 of 12 Posts
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.
Top