[Madams]

Would love your feedback.  I'm still getting the hang of this. So many different spins one can take. You know what I mean?
Here goes.
Dr. Alexa DeBrow led a charmed life. Blossoming career, handsome fiancé, and the money to wrap herself in the finer things. Until she killed Jamar Reading- the man who assaulted her in a Texas alley. Now she's facing a murder charge. Self defense? The police don't buy it. Alexa can't rub that sweet look of satisfaction off her face. When the brutal trial unravels her fairy tale, maybe the answer is a fresh start in Paris. New life, new name. But she can't leave the urge to kill behind. A story of vindication, romance, and intrigue, Fugue State delves into human morality and dabbles in medical debauchery.


Sigh. Would you pick it up off the shelf? Thanks in advance for your input! If you do t have time to comment, feel free to just rank it 1-10 or something. 

 

[Amanda M. Lee]

I like everything but "A story of vindication, romance, and intrigue, Fugue State delves into human morality and dabbles in medical debauchery." I never like it when someone "tells" me what the book is about.

 

[SBJones]

Dr. Alexa DeBrow led a charmed life. Blossoming career, handsome fiance, and the money to wrap herself in the finer things. Until she killed Jamar Reading- the man who assaulted her in a Texas alley. Now she's facing a murder charge. Self defense? The police don't buy it. Alexa can't rub that sweet look of satisfaction off her face. When the brutal trial unravels her fairy tale, maybe the answer is a fresh start in Paris. New life, new name. But she can't leave the urge to kill behind. A story of vindication, romance, and intrigue, Fugue State delves into human morality and dabbles in medical debauchery.

I think you have something to work with here. Needs a bit of work. I like it all up to the part about the Texas alley, then it falls apart for me. Once I read the rest; the beginning falls apart as well because I realize it's all backstory and prologue. When/where does this story take place? During this murder trial, or in Paris? In other words, where does the actual story start? Also I don't get a sense of what the conflict is. She killed her attacker, went to trial, got off/escaped and moved to Paris. That's a whole story right there. What is the reason behind becoming a serial killer?

The last part where you describe what the book is, many blurb doctors don't like that. I'm a little on the fence, but your description of the story doesn't match the blurb proper. A well written blurb shouldn't need that last part telling people what it's about. Your cover, title and blurb should be able to do this.

 

[Lo Conner]

Would love your feedback. I'm still getting the hang of this. So many different spins one can take. You know what I mean?
Here goes.
Dr. Alexa DeBrow led a charmed life. Blossoming career, handsome fiance, and the money to wrap herself in the finer things. Until she killed Jamar Reading- the man who assaulted her in a Texas alley. Now she's facing a murder charge. Self defense? The police don't buy it. Alexa can't rub that sweet look of satisfaction off her face. When the brutal trial unravels her fairy tale, maybe the answer is a fresh start in Paris. New life, new name. But she can't leave the urge to kill behind. A story of vindication, romance, and intrigue, Fugue State delves into human morality and dabbles in medical debauchery.

Sigh. Would you pick it up off the shelf? Thanks in advance for your input! If you do t have time to comment, feel free to just rank it 1-10 or something.

Rule one of a blurb: Don't tell readers what they'll learn, how they'll feel, and what you're trying to do. They'll pick up on that if your writing is high and tight. (See strike out)

Red: I think you're giving away way too much in this sentence.

Green: You're giving away the verdict. Again, leave a little mystery to the story so your readers are breathless rather than expectant.

Blue: Smart line. I like it. You can work with that.

Good luck!