Rule one of a blurb: Don't tell readers what they'll learn, how they'll feel, and what you're trying to do. They'll pick up on that if your writing is high and tight. (See strike out)Madams said:Would love your feedback. I'm still getting the hang of this. So many different spins one can take. You know what I mean?
Dr. Alexa DeBrow led a charmed life. Blossoming career, handsome fiance, and the money to wrap herself in the finer things. Until she killed Jamar Reading- the man who assaulted her in a Texas alley. Now she's facing a murder charge. Self defense? The police don't buy it. Alexa can't rub that sweet look of satisfaction off her face. When the brutal trial unravels her fairy tale, maybe the answer is a fresh start in Paris. New life, new name. But she can't leave the urge to kill behind.
A story of vindication, romance, and intrigue, Fugue State delves into human morality and dabbles in medical debauchery.
Sigh. Would you pick it up off the shelf? Thanks in advance for your input! If you do t have time to comment, feel free to just rank it 1-10 or something.
Red: I think you're giving away way too much in this sentence.
Green: You're giving away the verdict. Again, leave a little mystery to the story so your readers are breathless rather than expectant.
Blue: Smart line. I like it. You can work with that.