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I'm wondering if my blurb is too long for The Dark Prince and if I should decide to shorten it and change it?
Original blurb:
Long ago, the battle between good and evil was waged when the Champion of Lasgale, AlaStar the Great, sacrificed his own life to end the reign of the evil Dark Prince. Little did AlaStar know that his half-sister - the witch Lady Alinna - would one day return in the land to find that the love of her life, the Dark Prince survived.
Decades later, the Kingdom of Lasgale finds a new peace, when a dashing Knight, Alex helps end a rebellion once and for all. With the help of his mentor, Alex must find a way to control his unnatural abilities before he is subdued by a darkness within him.
Follow Alyaan, a troubled King who killed his own wife to save the world after banning magic forever; Saeera, a Knight who wishes to find her long lost mother and cheats on her one true love; Abakus, mentor to Alex who knows a terrible secret of Alex's forgotten past; Luwin, a bitter high-ranking Knight who must live with the burns on his face; Rayana, the sleepless Princess who wishes to discover the truth behind her mother's death; and Nal, the Devlet of Lasgale who's hidden crime could bring an end to the world itself. As celebrations begin for the crowning of a new Champion in Lasgale, an invisible creature in the North appears; consuming everyone in its path.
I was wondering if one could say something in the lines of "if you love Game of Thrones or (insert book here), you'll love the Fountains of Fire & Darkness series" ?
Original blurb:
Long ago, the battle between good and evil was waged when the Champion of Lasgale, AlaStar the Great, sacrificed his own life to end the reign of the evil Dark Prince. Little did AlaStar know that his half-sister - the witch Lady Alinna - would one day return in the land to find that the love of her life, the Dark Prince survived.
Decades later, the Kingdom of Lasgale finds a new peace, when a dashing Knight, Alex helps end a rebellion once and for all. With the help of his mentor, Alex must find a way to control his unnatural abilities before he is subdued by a darkness within him.
Follow Alyaan, a troubled King who killed his own wife to save the world after banning magic forever; Saeera, a Knight who wishes to find her long lost mother and cheats on her one true love; Abakus, mentor to Alex who knows a terrible secret of Alex's forgotten past; Luwin, a bitter high-ranking Knight who must live with the burns on his face; Rayana, the sleepless Princess who wishes to discover the truth behind her mother's death; and Nal, the Devlet of Lasgale who's hidden crime could bring an end to the world itself. As celebrations begin for the crowning of a new Champion in Lasgale, an invisible creature in the North appears; consuming everyone in its path.
I was wondering if one could say something in the lines of "if you love Game of Thrones or (insert book here), you'll love the Fountains of Fire & Darkness series" ?