[48209]

This week on KB:

You really should self-promote. Or you shouldn't. Or maybe just do a little of the stuff you enjoy.

You should absolutely bundle your shorts. Unless that doesn't work or you don't want to. Then totally don't do it.

Select is definitely for you --- unless it's not. Then other things might be for you.

You should put out as many books as you can as fast as you can. Unless you don't want to write books really quickly. Then you should just write books when you want. Unless you're on a schedule which you should definitely have. Unless schedules don't work for you. Then, roam free, my friend! Roam free!

Getting someone to do your taxes is a must. Unless you want to do them yourself.

Series do really well. No they don't. They kinda do. Sometimes. By genre-by-season-by-country-by-cover-color.

Any cover will do, it's the content. No one will look at your content if your cover doesn't grab them. Who cares about the cover or your if your blurb is good then they'll buy your book.

Free downloads are AWESOME!!!! Free downloads KILL SALES!!!!

Cookies are fat free. But only on Fridays. And if you're ignoring Robert's get healthy/lose weight thread.

 

[Quiss]

Don't forget that you should always always plot your novels carefully. Unless you're a pantser. That works, too.

 

[60911]

This reminds me of a point KKR was making in a great column recently about how nobody knows anything about publishing. Except there are some people who know a few things about publishing. And a few who know everything.

It was the best of threads, it was the worst of threads...

 

[Gertie Kindle]

 

[Sam Kates]

And you should tweet and run a blog as you won't sell anything without them. Or you will. Maybe they're a waste of time.

 

[Lisa Scott]

Funny stuff.
This was all really great advice.  For some people in some places.  But not everyone, and certainly not all the time. 

 

[Becca Mills]

Excellent. 

 

[Cherise]

And Dalya knows everything, but she melts down if she tries to tell us. Or she knows nothing, and melts down by trying to tell us that. Or, she would rather tell us stuff than write more than 600,000 words in a year...

 

[Kay Bratt]

All very true. Or very false.

But you forgot that we should all write novellas this year, because they sell the best, except for novels, which sell better.

 

[Nope]

.

 

[Gertie Kindle]

The only thing that really works is to have our books free all the time, except when it doesn't work because we didn't get a mention in POI or ENT. In which case, we should all raise our prices to $9.99 or lower them to $0.99, either of which will work, but not all the time

 

[dalya]

There was that other messageboard, and when they had a public area that wasn't passworded, I read a hilarious satirical post summarizing what people might be missing if they hadn't visited KB that day.

 

[Sam Kates]

All very true. Or very false.

But you forgot that we should all write novellas this year, because they sell the best, except for novels, which sell better.

Apart from short stories which are a really hard easy sell and should be sold separately or in collections or, better yet, in separate collections, or is that long stories...?

 

[dalya]

Apart from short stories which are a really hard easy sell and should be sold separately or in collections or, better yet, in separate collections, or is that long stories...?

Use a classy font like Papyrus for the title and you'll be fine either way!

 

[vrabinec]

This week on KB:

You really should self-promote. Or you shouldn't. Or maybe just do a little of the stuff you enjoy.

You should absolutely bundle your shorts. Unless that doesn't work or you don't want to. Then totally don't do it.

Select is definitely for you --- unless it's not. Then other things might be for you.

You should put out as many books as you can as fast as you can. Unless you don't want to write books really quickly. Then you should just write books when you want. Unless you're on a schedule which you should definitely have. Unless schedules don't work for you. Then, roam free, my friend! Roam free!

Getting someone to do your taxes is a must. Unless you want to do them yourself.

Series do really well. No they don't. They kinda do. Sometimes. By genre-by-season-by-country-by-cover-color.

Any cover will do, it's the content. No one will look at your content if your cover doesn't grab them. Who cares about the cover or your if your blurb is good then they'll buy your book.

Free downloads are AWESOME!!!! Free downloads KILL SALES!!!!

Cookies are fat free. But only on Fridays. And if you're ignoring Robert's get healthy/lose weight thread.

Uhhhh

 

[Lisa Grace]

Imagined conversation from the Writers' Cafe to Caitie:
I feel like you understand me. Like you really "get it." It's so nice to be finally understood. Unless—you're making fun of me, in which case it's not funny. I don't know, maybe I'm just being emotional and blowing this whole thing out of porportion.

I'm going to Scarlet's and getting some chocolate. Don't look at me that way! I know what you're thinking. I have the right to change my mind! And a few crappy chocolates aren't going to make me fat! Why don't you just get out of here and write something.

You're going to put me in a book aren't you? You're going to blow me up or something, aren't you? Just remember, I'M ALWAYS THE ONE WHO IS HERE FOR YOU, ready to cheer you on, or let you vent. DON'T YOU LEAVE! I'M TALKING TO YOU! You can't just walk out now...I'm speaking.... (door closes)

 

[Lisa Grace]

Never upload a book to KDP from a .doc file, or other formats, unless that works for you. You have to write in series if you want to sell anything, or romance, or paranormals, but not any other stuff because it never sells, unless it does, then you're okay. Writing is work as long as you're having fun. Making money matters, unless it doesn't, then you can just write for fun.

 

[dalya]

Whatever you're doing, you're violating readers. Think of the readers! The poor readers! Stop violating them with your slow publishing that makes them wait or your fast publishing that can't be good.

Don't write anything short because even if you clearly label the word and page count, obviously you are Satan.

Do not write for trends, but for heaven's sakes don't write that boring, unpopular shit nobody wants.

 

[54706]

Oh, this is AWESOME!  Or it isn't. 

 

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Comment removed due to VS TOS 25/9/2018