[PJJones]

Until I'd remembered that was already holding Weiner's gun in my hand.

 

[alan nayes]

Damn, and now I was getting the ex-congressman's hot mess all over my hand. Yuck!

 

[SheaMacLeod]

Bleach!  I needed bleach.  Stat!

 

[Philip Chen]

The bleach reacted to the caustic oil that had dripped from Weiner's gun, the chemical reaction burnt a smoldering hole in my delicate hand.

 

[SheaMacLeod]

The smoldering hole in my human skin revealed my true green skin underneath.  Pam shrieked.  Weiner shrieked louder.  I sighed. 

 

[PJJones]

My father, and lord and master, would not be happy to learn that I'd revealed my true identity to these mortals, which only left me with one option.

 

[craigr1971]

Hi, everybody" chimed-in Larry King, a cameraman behind him taking in the entire, sordid yet oddly stimulating scene, "When I say pizza - what do you folks think of?"

 

[alan nayes]

"Well", I said in my best alien falsetto. "We don't think of Wiener's weener chopped up as peperroni bits. BTW, Mr. King, is that a real human hair transplant you'rer sporting? Gawd, you must be close to 80!"

 

[PJJones]

"Actually, in case you've forgotten," Larry answered, "on my mother planet, gaunt, frail, balding, wrinkly, men with poor posture, are considered to be the ultimate sex gods. And we can only achieve maximum sexiness through marriage to many, many earth females." 

 

[SheaMacLeod]

I made a mental note to never visit Larry King's mother planet.

 

[Camilla]

Still, creepy vacations to other planets was the last thing on my mind. I had to escape. But how? was the obvious question, and did I take Pam with me or leave her to Larry King and Congressman Wiener's mercy?

 

[craigr1971]

That's when things began to get strange...

 

[SheaMacLeod]

The Congressman suddenly went into convulsions, flipping and flopping about like a fish. 

 

[alan nayes]

I wasn't sure whether to fillet and cook him or send him back to Larry King's mother planet where old wrinkly balding men with hair transplants are gods.

 

[PJJones]

But before I could decide my next move, Weiner had already transformed into a most frightening and grotesque creature.

 

[Tara Maya]

Pam sidled up next to me.

"Are you pondering what I'm pondering?" she asked.

 

[SheaMacLeod]

"Er, what are you pondering?" I asked. 

 

[PJJones]

"I'm pondering taking some photos of Weiner and exposing his hidden ability to transform into a were-skunk-dolphin on Twitter," she said.

 

[Lynn McNamee]

"Hmm," I replied. "Well, I was thinking something close to that. How about a YouTube video? That would be much more exciting."

 

[PJJones]

"Yes," she said. "Perhaps America will understand his need to expose his human self on Twitter was really only a manifestation of anger and shame, since he has been forced to hide his true supernatural nature. Perhaps this way, he will be forgiven by his wife, the few dozen or so shocked and emotionally scarred college co-eds, his constituents and his political party. In fact, I think it's time we elected a were-skunk-dolphin to The White House."