Okay, authors, put your creative juices to the test! Ever written a chain story? It's where you write one sentence that contributes to the ongoing story. You can come back later and add another sentence, but you can't write back-to-back sentences. Let's see where this story goes! Below is the opening line. PJ
It came at me so fast, I barely had time to react.
Hi, everybody" chimed-in Larry King, a cameraman behind him taking in the entire, sordid yet oddly stimulating scene, "When I say pizza - what do you folks think of?"
"Well", I said in my best alien falsetto. "We don't think of Wiener's weener chopped up as peperroni bits. BTW, Mr. King, is that a real human hair transplant you'rer sporting? Gawd, you must be close to 80!"
"Actually, in case you've forgotten," Larry answered, "on my mother planet, gaunt, frail, balding, wrinkly, men with poor posture, are considered to be the ultimate sex gods. And we can only achieve maximum sexiness through marriage to many, many earth females."
Still, creepy vacations to other planets was the last thing on my mind. I had to escape. But how? was the obvious question, and did I take Pam with me or leave her to Larry King and Congressman Wiener's mercy?
I wasn't sure whether to fillet and cook him or send him back to Larry King's mother planet where old wrinkly balding men with hair transplants are gods.
"Yes," she said. "Perhaps America will understand his need to expose his human self on Twitter was really only a manifestation of anger and shame, since he has been forced to hide his true supernatural nature. Perhaps this way, he will be forgiven by his wife, the few dozen or so shocked and emotionally scarred college co-eds, his constituents and his political party. In fact, I think it's time we elected a were-skunk-dolphin to The White House."
"You know, we weren't really thinking the same thing at all. I wanted to expose him for the disgusting creature that he is. I'm thinking maybe you should be in the video with him, since you love him so much. Just for the record, though, my home planet is much more fun that both of theirs combined. I only came here for the Ben & Jerry's ice cream."
And then the phone rang. I felt my stomach due flip-flops when I saw that the caller ID on my cell said MOM in big, bold, accusatory letters. She was a HUGE Larry King fan.
"You know?" Larry's deep, yet emasculated baritone was loud enough for my mother to hear. "I think in today's society, when people should be more open-minded toward other cultures, sexual orientations and religions, your mother should have taught you compassion toward deviant, adulterous were-skunk-dolphins. Immortals have feelings, too. Or have you forgotten? And that's not ice cream you're eating, by the way."
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