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Could anyone critique my sci-fi comedy blurb?

426 Views 6 Replies 5 Participants Last post by  Gregg Bell
Thanks! :cool:

Input device Gadget Publication Revolver Fictional character

The Galactic Empire is missing a most precious resource: a sense of humor.

Dax Bidet is just another unemployed, thirty-something slacker still living with his parents. Along with his best friend Buck, he spends his days making pranks and uploading them to social media.

But things are about to take a drastic change.

When Dax and Buck are mistakenly abducted by aliens, they soon find themselves in a teeming galaxy sliding towards war. The only way to keep the peace is to regale the rebellious planets with… comedy.

Dax has just been given the unenviable title of space clown. He has to figure out what the myriad of various races consider to be humorous, and get a laugh out of them.

Yet there are many within the Empire who would love to see him fail. They have space fleets, armies of assassins, and planet-destroying super weapons at their disposal.

Looks like Dax has his work cut out.
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I think it's fine except for four IMO unnecessary commas that slow the read down. Try reading it to yourself without the commas and see if it sounds faster while still understandable.
Thanks! Punctuation isn't my strong suit, so I'll see what I can do.
Thanks, everyone. It is appreciated!
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