[JTriptych]

Here goes:

Our world will be destroyed. Only a chosen few can escape.

In the near future, a cataclysmic collision with a rogue planet destabilizes the sun, causing an exponential increase of its output. With the ever-increasing heat, life on earth will be extinguished within a decade.

As the global crisis deepens, it falls on a handful of individuals who will determine whether humanity survives. NASA scientist Dr. Olivia Quinn must outwit a corrupt government system and warn the public before it’s too late. Veteran astronaut Valerie McKinnon and her son Sawyer are in a race against time to build a space ark that could rescue countless lives. And Armand Balkan, a cutthroat trillionaire who seeks to maintain his empire by any means possible, could either save or doom them all.

 

[BilboMaggins]

Our world will soon be destroyed. Only a chosen few can escape.

In the near future, a cataclysmic collision with a rogue planet destabilizes the sun’s fusion and turns it into an interstellar ticking time bomb. With the ever-increasing heat, life on earth will be extinguished within a decade.

As knowledge of the upcoming global calamity spreads, a handful of world leaders are tasked with determining humanity’s fate.

- - - -

Too many characters doing too many things in the last paragraph.

Last sentence is not a hook either.

concentrate on the lady building the ark. Because all the blurb reader knows is that earth is gonna explode. So the ark is the antidote to the only drama the blurb reader knows.

 

[JohnHansen]

It sounds very exciting.

Just a few minor points. I don't think you need "With the ever-increasing heat," The last clause in the previous setting makes it clear what the problem is.

"warn the public before it’s too late." Not sure what too late means here. too late to what.

But as I said, it sounds like great science fiction about an event and how different people react.

 

[JTriptych]

Our world will soon be destroyed. Only a chosen few can escape.

In the near future, a cataclysmic collision with a rogue planet destabilizes the sun’s fusion and turns it into an interstellar ticking time bomb. With the ever-increasing heat, life on earth will be extinguished within a decade.

As knowledge of the upcoming global calamity spreads, a handful of world leaders are tasked with determining humanity’s fate.

- - - -

Too many characters doing too many things in the last paragraph.

Last sentence is not a hook either.

concentrate on the lady building the ark. Because all the blurb reader knows is that earth is gonna explode. So the ark is the antidote to the only drama the blurb reader knows.

Ticking time bomb? I like it! Thanks.

It sounds very exciting.

Just a few minor points. I don't think you need "With the ever-increasing heat," The last clause in the previous setting makes it clear what the problem is.

"warn the public before it’s too late." Not sure what too late means here. too late to what.

But as I said, it sounds like great science fiction about an event and how different people react.

Good suggestions! Thanks, John!

 

[travelinged]

The last graph explains far too much of the plot.
Avoid phrases like "cutthroat trillionaire" as they give away their roles. The reader wants to find out the nature of the characters, shown not told.

As the global crisis deepens, it falls on a handful of individuals who will determine whether humanity survives. NASA scientist Dr. Olivia Quinn must outwit a corrupt government system and warn the public before it’s too late. Veteran astronaut Valerie McKinnon and her son Sawyer are in a race against time to build a space ark that could rescue countless lives. And Armand Balkan, a cutthroat trillionaire who seeks to maintain his empire by any means possible, could either save or doom them all.

A handful of individuals will determine whether humanity survives the global crisis. Building a space ark could save countless lives... but the clock is ticking.

 

[GDK]

Is it contradictory to say:

“Only a chosen few can escape.”
“…a space ark that could save countless lives.”

maybe I’m misinterpreting, just thought I’d highlight it.

 

[Tara Maya]

It sounds like an exciting story. Are the heroes definitely saving themselves or is there a question of whether they might be working for a salvation that will leave them or some they love behind?

 

[Mahuna]

Well, gee, golly. I don't find ANY of your story interesting or attractive. I certainly wouldn't read it, let alone BUY it.
A Story is about the interplay between Characters. The Earth is DOOMED. So "the Story About the Earth" is irrelevant. Anyone who cares can look up the details of the destruction online.
Why do I CARE about ANY of the Characters?? Does the Hero "succeed" or "fail"? Does he/she fail because of a poor decision or a lack of guts?
Etc., etc., etc.

 

[Nicksm28]

View attachment 28645

Here goes:

Our world will be destroyed. Only a chosen few can escape.

In the near future, a cataclysmic collision with a rogue planet destabilizes the sun, causing an exponential increase of its output. With the ever-increasing heat, life on earth will be extinguished within a decade.

As the global crisis deepens, it falls on a handful of individuals who will determine whether humanity survives. NASA scientist Dr. Olivia Quinn must outwit a corrupt government system and warn the public before it’s too late. Veteran astronaut Valerie McKinnon and her son Sawyer are in a race against time to build a space ark that could rescue countless lives. And Armand Balkan, a cutthroat trillionaire who seeks to maintain his empire by any means possible, could either save or doom them all.

I would trim it down significantly. Seems like too much is given away, too many plot points listed. Leave a little more to be discovered. Great cover! Good luck.

 

[tensen]

The challenge for Dr. Quinn seems useless. Is there any escalating threat to the challenge of warning the public? Even if she succeeds, the public in general can't do anything about the planet destruction. Is there only one government in the world at the time of the book? What are the actual stakes for her?

A trillionaire sounds like they have the power to create an empire out of the whole thing by just making indentured servants of everyone that wants to leave. But your wording on the last line also makes it seem like he could save all, contradicting the saving of only a chosen few.

The stakes seems like it is then how many will survive.

 

[nail file]

Gotta Read It!: Five Simple Steps to a Fiction Pitch that Sells by Libbie Hawker is a fantastic guide on how to pick out those elements of your story to put into any blurb or product description. It's a fast, easy and cheap read.