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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I make a point of not visiting the Amazon forums because they seem to be very unfriendly.  I don't spend my time on my computer to respond to mean emails, and whilst at a forum, I am there to offer both advice if I feel I might know something that will help (unlikely but occasionally I manage it) or to learn from the advice of others.

When I first came to kindleboards I found that it was a really helpful place, and somewhere that I have learnt a lot from other more established self-pubbed authors.  Then I came here today and saw the recently locked thread after it got a bit out of hand. :eek:

Perhaps we need a reminder for everybody, new, not so knew like me, and the more well established people amongst us that there is no place for being rude on KB.  If you are offered advice bysomebody because you asked for it, take it gracefully and don't respond by attacking their opinion.  If you disagree, perhaps try doing it politely.  The last thing any of us want in a forum like this is for people to either feel nervous to ask questions, or to be afraid to give an honest opinion in return, even if it is not a positive one. 

That's just an opinion though, feel free to diagree  ;)
 

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I'm not sure it's fair to say one is "disappointed with Kindleboards" because a few people got into an argument on a single thread. There are always going to be arguments. It's the overall tone of the place that matters, not the occasional squabble.
 
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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
MegHarris said:
I'm not sure it's fair to say one is "disappointed with Kindleboards" because a few people got into an argument on a single thread.
Probably a fair point, it was a gut reaction. It's not KB itself that was dissapointing, just this thread.

Bards and Sages (Julie) said:
I don't know how folks who think KB is a mean place survive the rest of the internet. :eek:
Not sure if you caught the thread, but it didn't seem like a very constructive use of the forum and could put people off, which was probably why it got locked.
 

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Not sure if you caught the thread, but it didn't seem like a very constructive use of the forum - that's probably why it got locked.
Which is what the mods do, and why KB is basically a pleasant place to hang out. This doesn't mean everyone here is nice, just that people get smacked down when things get out of hand.
 
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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
MegHarris said:
Well, *****, I know you must have a hard time with the rest of the internet, because you're so nice *ducks and runs*.
What!? You are now the second person today to call me nice. Who put you all up to this? Was it Krista? Is there a new Queen of Mean competition starting and she is trying to stop me from claiming what is rightfully mine? ;D
 
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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Bards and Sages (Julie) said:
I don't know how folks who think KB is a mean place survive the rest of the internet. :eek:
This. Compared to 90% of the rest of online communities KB has the politeness and good manners of a British upper class tea time meeting.
 

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"Compared to 90% of the rest of online communities KB has the politeness and good manners of a British upper class tea time meeting."

True.

Plus our mods keep the bad kids in check. :)

Team Betsy!
 

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Bards and Sages (Julie) said:
What!? You are now the second person today to call me nice. Who put you all up to this? Was it Krista? Is there a new Queen of Mean competition starting and she is trying to stop me from claiming what is rightfully mine? ;D
But...but...I wanna be the Queen of Mean.

Anyway, I was actually enjoying that thread until it got locked. To each his own, eh?
 
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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
MegHarris said:
Which is what the mods do, and why KB is basically a pleasant place to hang out. This doesn't mean everyone here is nice, just that people get smacked down when things get out of hand.
The mods do a good job :) Ho team Betsy!
SPBreit said:
This. Compared to 90% of the rest of online communities KB has the politeness and good manners of a British upper class tea time meeting.
Maybe that's why I like it. I am missing my polite Britishness being stuck out in noisy Cyprus!
 

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A thread was locked? I missed it, which is probably a good thing. Getting banned from one forum this week is enough.  ;D (even if I did request the banning!)
 

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michellem said:
there is no place for being rude on KB.
Every group of people, no matter how much they like each other, and how nice they are, is going to have an occasional flare up. This is true of friends and family in real life as well as Internet forums. But Michelle is right above. Being rude is NOT the KindleBoards way. Which is why we have the stocks. And why they so seldom get used--I have to keep dusting them.

Thanks to everyone for basically making this one of the best forums on the Internet and making our jobs as moderators pretty easy most of the time. And, everyone, a little less caffeine.

;)

Thanks!

Betsy
KB Moderator
 

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The rules/forum decorum are already in a sticky thread. Short of sending weekly PM reminders, it doesn't get any more obvious than it already is. The problem is people not reading or not understanding the rules.

(Edit to clarify: my statement is made to the broad statement in the OP in paragraph 3, not to any of the contents in the other locked thread. Had I any response to that thread, I would've made it there.)
 

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michellem said:
If you disagree, perhaps try doing it politely. The last thing any of us want in a forum like this is for people to either feel nervous to ask questions, or to be afraid to give an honest opinion in return, even if it is not a positive one.
I think I understand exactly where you are coming from on this. I've had moments where I feel like never coming back to KB or I have to hold my own reactions in check when someone is rude or insulting in their responses to my posts. I keep returning though, because KB is still the best indie writer's forum I've found on the Internet, in spite of the trolls.

They say you have to take the bad with the good. I think the moderators around here do an excellent job of keeping "the bad" under control. But I'm sure it's hard for them to decide where to draw the line sometimes. I'm slowly learning who to avoid, and I'm discovering that its best to just ignore the inevitable rude comments. That's not always easy: the urge to defend yourself against unfair remarks can be hard to suppress.
 
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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
BrianKittrell said:
The rules/forum decorum are already in a sticky thread. Short of sending weekly PM reminders, it doesn't get any more obvious than it already is. The problem is people not reading or not understanding the rules.
Actually, the problem is people want to instigate.

I'm going to get yelled at for this but I think it needs to be said. In all seriousness, people who complain about rudeness should not go out of their way to stir the pot. Michelle, not only did you feel the need to start a whole thread complaining about rudeness over a single locked thread, you then felt the need to reference that locked thread in another thread from the OP. You are instigating for some reason. There is no legitimate reason for you to drag the locked thread into another thread on a completely unrelated topic. But you made a decision to do so anyway. From where I am sitting, that makes you part of the problem.

If you don't like a specific behavior, ignore it. Don't start new threads about it. Don't bring it up in unrelated threads. All you do is draw attention to the very behavior you claim is so rude and unhelpful.
 

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Bards and Sages (Julie) said:
Actually, the problem is people want to instigate.

I'm going to get yelled at for this but I think it needs to be said. In all seriousness, people who complain about rudeness should not go out of their way to stir the pot. Michelle, not only did you feel the need to start a whole thread complaining about rudeness over a single locked thread, you then felt the need to reference that locked thread in another thread from the OP. You are instigating for some reason. There is no legitimate reason for you to drag the locked thread into another thread on a completely unrelated topic. But you made a decision to do so anyway. From where I am sitting, that makes you part of the problem.

If you don't like a specific behavior, ignore it. Don't start new threads about it. Don't bring it up in unrelated threads. All you do is draw attention to the very behavior you claim is so rude and unhelpful.
People WANT to instigate? Oh, please. Stop with the psychoanalysis. Sometimes you just go over the top. I wish there was an ignore button. ;D
 

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It's a collective group of individuals. Creative individuals at that with most (and I know I suffer from this too sometimes) suffering from the Unique Snowflake Syndrome, Of course there are going to be people getting miffed at the slightly insult against their books/marketing practices/plotting. But really...this isn't even close to being like other forums. There's a lot of constructive criticism and wise information being shared on these threads.

As for said locked thread, it got locked for a reason. That means, as Betsy says, go do something else to take your mind off of it. Castle isn't playing right now but there's always Hulu. A little Nathan never killed anyone and after watching him for a few minutes, how can anyone stay angry?
 
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Discussion Starter · #18 ·
vrabinec said:
People WANT to instigate? Oh, please. Stop with the psychoanalysis. Sometimes you just go over the top. I wish there was an ignore button. ;D
Finally! With all the people calling me nice I was beginning to worry that I was losing my touch.
 

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Well, I think KB is awesome.

I had a super-whiny day earlier this week and was ready to follow my book over the edge of a cliff.
People really pitched in to keep me thinking positively and offered suggestions.
Also important was that those who probably felt like giving me a quick slap upside the head for being such a derp simply stayed out of it.

For both I am grateful.
 

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Disappointed has one s. Kidding! See, I was being one of those mean critical people.

I love this place. I don't see mean behavior... at least not often. I lurked for a while at another writing forum, a big prestigious one whose first word begins with an A, and I couldn't believe the arrogance and condescension displayed by the moderators and longtime members toward newbies. So, I think KB is heaven... but that's just me.

And, brown-noser alert: I'd like to thank the moderators for all their hard work, patience, and humor putting up with us. You guys rock!
 
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