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178 Posts
Ouch!!
That is what went through my mind as I read the review given me by a gal in Germany. It did not make me mad in any way though, these are the type of reviews I need to grow, to become better. She did not say anything bad about the story, it was more my approach to it. I am posting it here.
Disappointing.
The description of the book really got me interested and the beginning of the book was really good, but then:
- too many changes of perspective (especially in the fighting scenes)
- constant adding of new characters and their abilities, the reader is bound to get confused with all these names (changes of perspective don't help here either)
- repetitive use of words (in the fighting scenes again, I counted a total of 8x "man"/"men"/"the first man"/"the second man" on one page)
- no character development as far as I can tell
I'm not sure whether I should continue reading it.
So yeah, I can see what she was talking about. I did use the terms man, men, and such during fight scenes. To me it made sense as they were just quick appearances in the book. Perhaps you all have a better suggestion for my next book on how to approach that. I did notice it while I was reading it but trying to fit my story in under 80k words was hard enough. That brings me to character development, again, trying to do it in 80k words, I was only really able to do basic introductions to the characters. I plan on trying to get more into it on the second book and will not have the HUGE fight scenes as I did in the first one. It was rather exhausting for me trying to set it up in such a way as to keep it interesting without making it confusing. Yes, there was a lot of characters and abilities, but that was part of the storyline and could not be helped. I am not sure about the change of perspective part. I am assuming she was talking about when I would switch from fight to fight...but that is what any author does, they go from fight to fight and work their way around in order to maintain the fights along the same time frame.
Anyway, let me know what you guys think. I am working on the second one, it will be quite a lot different than the first one as it will be more one on one. I will be building the character development more in it along with adding some romance. I am thinking instead of having one main romance, having tow or three smaller ones...what do you think? Or should I have one stand out?
Always learning = )
That is what went through my mind as I read the review given me by a gal in Germany. It did not make me mad in any way though, these are the type of reviews I need to grow, to become better. She did not say anything bad about the story, it was more my approach to it. I am posting it here.
Disappointing.
The description of the book really got me interested and the beginning of the book was really good, but then:
- too many changes of perspective (especially in the fighting scenes)
- constant adding of new characters and their abilities, the reader is bound to get confused with all these names (changes of perspective don't help here either)
- repetitive use of words (in the fighting scenes again, I counted a total of 8x "man"/"men"/"the first man"/"the second man" on one page)
- no character development as far as I can tell
I'm not sure whether I should continue reading it.
So yeah, I can see what she was talking about. I did use the terms man, men, and such during fight scenes. To me it made sense as they were just quick appearances in the book. Perhaps you all have a better suggestion for my next book on how to approach that. I did notice it while I was reading it but trying to fit my story in under 80k words was hard enough. That brings me to character development, again, trying to do it in 80k words, I was only really able to do basic introductions to the characters. I plan on trying to get more into it on the second book and will not have the HUGE fight scenes as I did in the first one. It was rather exhausting for me trying to set it up in such a way as to keep it interesting without making it confusing. Yes, there was a lot of characters and abilities, but that was part of the storyline and could not be helped. I am not sure about the change of perspective part. I am assuming she was talking about when I would switch from fight to fight...but that is what any author does, they go from fight to fight and work their way around in order to maintain the fights along the same time frame.
Anyway, let me know what you guys think. I am working on the second one, it will be quite a lot different than the first one as it will be more one on one. I will be building the character development more in it along with adding some romance. I am thinking instead of having one main romance, having tow or three smaller ones...what do you think? Or should I have one stand out?
Always learning = )