[Steve Vernon]

My novel GYPSY BLOOD is now available in Kindle format - AND IS FREE TODAY AND TOMORROW (April 22, 2016 to April 23, 2016)

Half-Gypsy, Carnival carries his dead Poppa inside him as a perpetual adviser as he works as fortune-teller and occult troubleshooter, banishing demons and succubi with a carefree confidence born only of youth. His life journey takes a distinctly different turn when he meets Maya, an alluring female vampire. This opening book to the Carnival Cycle Series details a dark version of the modern world, in which demons appear unbidden and where having a talent and using it successfully can mean either life or death.

Give a listen to what one reviewer has to say -

From the opening scene I was hooked. Any man that deems it acceptable to battle a succubus by tap dancing on her teeth is an interesting character. Carnival develops in to a well-rounded character as the book unfolds. He develops in to a three-dimensional character with a troubled past, issues, dreams, and a plethora of issues to work through. Vernon gives us a character with a depth and mythology that could be mined for tons of great reading.

"This is a fantasy for those who hate fantasies" - another reviewer

If you haven't read any of my work this is a great place to start. Like a lot of my Kindle releases this book is available but out-of-print.

 

[Ann in Arlington]

Welcome to KindleBoards, Steve, and congratulations on your book!

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[Steve Vernon]

We got gypsies! We got rickshaws! We got automatic gunfire. We got a reanimated corpse duct-taped to an office chair. We got a blood demon. We got a city incarnate. We got tattoo artists! We got hedgehog- (hoo boy, do we got hedgehog!)! WE EVEN GOT A STEENKING MARIACHI BAND!!!

...and we've got one hell of a load full of exclamation marks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Buy Gypsy Blood!

Do it now!

Don't make me call out the death boat...

 

[TWGallier]

We got gypsies! We got rickshaws! We got automatic gunfire. We got a reanimated corpse duct-taped to an office chair. We got a blood demon. We got a city incarnate. We got tattoo artists! We got hedgehog- (hoo boy, do we got hedgehog!)! WE EVEN GOT A STEENKING MARIACHI BAND!!!

...and we've got one hell of a load full of exclamation marks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Buy Gypsy Blood!

Do it now!

Don't make me call out the death boat...

Ha! I liked the first blurb that started this thread, but this post was even better. Loved it. Your story sounds like lots of fun.

 

[Colin Taber]

Sounds interesting, I'll check it out!

 

[Steve Vernon]

Thanks, Tom. Thanks Colin.

I'll give you folks a hint. The story is twice as good if you buy two copies. Four times as good as that if you buy four copies. Sixteen times as good as...shit, I ran out of fingers to count on...

All kidding aside, I appreciate your purchase, very much. Let me know how you like it.

 

[Steve Vernon]

All right. Right now I am going to utilize the powers of my left-brain think-box and reach out their telekinetically to hold your left foot right close to the roaring fire of my over-worked left-brain think-box and force you to reach right over to the left end of your credit card and buy my book...

...shoot, I think I just gave myself an aneurism!

Let me just put it too you as simply as I can.

Carnival is a Gypsy. An honest-to-tarot-cards fortune telling trouble shooter with the spirit of his dead father incarcerated next to his heart. Carnival has fallen in love with a lady vampire by the name of Maya who has a little remembering just where she is coming from and more importantly, who is pulling her strings.

Gypsy Blood is a fast paced, dark, funny, terrifying novel that rolls like an avalanche of skateboarding lunatics. The book builds to a climactic battle royale between Jack, the lady vampire, a she-demon with a mother complex, a social climbing blood god, the collective spirit of the city and a mercenary mariachi band riding in a kamikaze rickshaw.

I'm not saying it's a simple read...

But like Jeff Strand always says..."True originality is rare but you'll find it every time that Steve Vernon puts his fingers on the keyboard."

 

[Steve Vernon]

You don't mess with mariachi...

 

[Steve Vernon]

GYPSY BLOOD -

More fun than a midnight ride through the cheapest side of town on the hottest of nights beneath the fullest of full moons - with a bottle of cold beer in one hand, a screaming mariachi band at your back, a jar of gherkins in the other hand - while riding a stolen vardo pulled by a team of carrion stallion...

If your brain hasn't anurysimed...aneurysmed...and-your-ism-ed...at this point (geseundheit)...reach for your credit card and buy my book!!!

 

[Steve Vernon]

One of the sunniest hottest days of the month and I spent nearly the whole day at work at my day job.

So tonight, I'm going to attempt a little reverse psychology.

DON'T BUY THIS BOOK!

YOU PROBABLY WON'T LIKE IT!

IN FACT YOU OUGHT TO ORDER A COPY AND HAVE IT SENT TO YOUR WORST ENEMY.

SEND IT TO THAT PICKLE-NOSED CHOWDERHEAD THAT PUSHED YOU DOWN IN KINDERGARTEN.

SEND IT TO THE YO-HO SHMUCK WHO STOLE YOUR GIRLFRIEND AT THE PROM!

SEND IT TO THAT AEROSOL BLONDE IN ACCOUNTING!

SEND IT TO YOUR MOTHER-IN-LAW'S MOTHER-IN-LAW!

SEND IT TO YOUR BOSS!

BUY A COPY AND SEND IT TO ME!

 

[Steve Vernon]

Wow! I haven't flogged this puppy since July.

(note to self - must write short story entitled "Flogging the Puppy")

In fact - if you can't buy a book - then write the first paragraph to the story "Flogging the Puppy"...

 

[Steve Vernon]

Doesn't it, though?

 

[Steve Vernon]

I had a great time giving my writing/storytelling workshop at a rural school today. Left my voice a little hoarse by the end of it but getting all of those kids (from grade 4-6) worked up about reading and writing always leaves me with a blast of energy.

Heading for bed now.

Hopefully I'll wake up to see a few more books sold...

 

[Steve Vernon]

Chapter 1
Climbing Broken Ladders
Carnival closed his eyes but it was darker inside than out. He settled for an Eastwood squint. The squint would have worked if he'd had a cigarillo to bite down on. Too bad he didn't smoke.
Hurry up, boy. Time has never learned how to crawl.
What the hell was he thinking? Standing here in the doorway of the Second Chance Church and Wedding Chapel, leaning on an eight foot wooden stepladder, with wads of candle wax stuffed in his ears. There were worse ways to commit suicide but at the moment he couldn't think of one. At least it was a good stepladder. He'd hunted seven city blocks to find it. There was magic in sevens, wasn't there? He counted ladder rungs, searching for a sign.
"This has got to be one of the stupidest stunts I've ever tried."
Are you made of broken clocks? Hurry up.
That was Poppa, grumbling. Poppa's grumbling sounded like slow wet rocks churning in the darkness deep inside Carnival's chest where Poppa lived.
"Don't rush me, Poppa. I'm thinking"

Opening few paragraphs of GYPSY BLOOD.

 

[Steve Vernon]

It's Halloween, today.

It says so on the calender on my wall.

If you want a treat pick up a copy of GYPSY BLOOD today.

Would I trick you?

 

[Steve Vernon]

I'm just trying to get my coffee down my gullet far enough to wake just long enough to get my poor old sorry Canadian butt to work. Today is a development day - which is good and bad. The good news is I'm going to be paid to sit and listen to about eight hours worth of discussion. The bad news is that I'm going to have to sit and listen.

Are you weeping for me yet?

Do I hear violin music?

Why don't you just buy a copy of GYPSY BLOOD and make us both feel a whole lot better.

More coffee, dang it!

 

[Steve Vernon]

Come on now. Don't hesitate. Buy yourself a copy of GYPSY BLOOD. It'll stick to your liking closer than a ripe fart in a crowded phone booth!

 

[Steve Vernon]

All right, so I am getting ready to go downtown to the local Writers Federation for a Christmas party. I have never been a "party animal" and I often tend to wallflower myself somewhere handy to the snack table - but these last couple of years I have been working on becoming more of a shmooze-meister. So wish me luck - and while you're at it you might want to observe the very old Plieoscenic custom of buying a copy of GYPSY BLOOD for Christmas good luck.

In fact, it has been clinically proven in a blind taste-test that more Powerball winners start out their morning with a copy of GYPSY BLOOD. Super models and fashion queens all depend on the lean mean protein-riddled prose of GYPSY BLOOD to keep themselves in runway shape. Couiffure-dynamo Donald Trump himself often combs his hair with a gellified pomade extracted from roots of GYPSY BLOOD. Justin Beiber gargles with a tonic of salt water and GYPSY BLOOD before every concert.

So don't hesitate. Buy yourself a copy of GYPSY BLOOD and get in with the in-crowd!

 

[acellis]

This sounds like a lot of fun! I'm going to have to check it out.

 

[Steve Vernon]

I appreciate that, sir. And I definitely dig the look of your Spaceships And Brass Knuckles collection. Nothing I love better than a good genre-mash-up.