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I'm not opposed to swapping spit with a significant other, as a matter of fact, I rather enjoy it. Mrs. Nobody and I have always been a "lippy" couple, constantly kissing each other goodbye, hello, good morning, and of course, during times of passion.

So why, when I'm writing a book, is it so uncomfortable to pen those lines?

I squirm when I have to type, "He held her in a tight embrace, kissing her deeply," or similar.

I don't cringe when I write non-explicit scenes of love making. I can have the protagonists just going at each other sexually, and it doesn't phase me one bit. Why does kissing bother me so much?

I've read where many folks consider kissing more intimate than actual intercourse. I've never looked at "first base" like that personally, but now that I have to write it down, maybe I should have.

Anybody else out there struggle with this?  :-*
 

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Maybe because there really is a mixture of exhilaration and embarrassment during a first kiss? (those seem to be the ones that most people describe, not the every day ones that get you through life comfortably) There's an authentic risk of rejection in a first kiss.  Maybe there was more of pain than pleasure in your first kisses. There definitely was in mine.  We should really be writing about the second kiss. Those are so much better. And less awkward and embarrassing. 
 

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Here's my suggestion, Joe. Close your eyes, imagine the kiss, and type it out with your eyes closed. That way you don't have to look at the words. You can just experience the kiss.
 

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You are not alone Joe :)  Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman wouldn't kiss  - it was too personal (and just in case you didn't she it she was a hooker).  Personally I think kissing is extremely hard to write about - a decent kiss that is.

 

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Perhaps it's because describing the kiss is describing in detail a physical and private act of intimacy. Lips, tongues, teeth. As narrator, we're serving as surrogate to the reader's voyeuristic inclinations and exposing our own. Readers get to peep vicariously through us into forbidden territory.

Looking back on my own stuff, which only occasionally suggests sexual behavior, I don't see any sloppy alfalfa wet kisses in there. But I never thought about it until Joe mentioned it.
 

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Joe_Nobody said:
I'm not opposed to swapping spit with a significant other, as a matter of fact, I rather enjoy it. Mrs. Nobody and I have always been a "lippy" couple, constantly kissing each other goodbye, hello, good morning, and of course, during times of passion.

So why, when I'm writing a book, is it so uncomfortable to pen those lines?

I squirm when I have to type, "He held her in a tight embrace, kissing her deeply," or similar.

I don't cringe when I write non-explicit scenes of love making. I can have the protagonists just going at each other sexually, and it doesn't phase me one bit. Why does kissing bother me so much?

I've read where many folks consider kissing more intimate than actual intercourse. I've never looked at "first base" like that personally, but now that I have to write it down, maybe I should have.

Anybody else out there struggle with this? :-*
Prostitutes rarely allow kissing (or so I'm told ::) ) because it's more emotionally intimate than sex.
 

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Nope. First kiss is the high point of my books (basically because they don't get to do anything more than that due to reader age).

Just try to capture the essence of some amazing screen kisses:

 

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Maybe the sweetness & intimacy of kissing is reserved mentally and emotionally for your wife, and you feel embarrassed to write about it regarding other people.  :)
 

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An English person writes:

What are second, third and fourth bases, please. Ok, fourth I can guess, but the other two? We play rounders here, not baseball.
 

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Krista D. Ball said:
I find the worst is when an IRL friend who knows me and sees me and goes out for lunch with me reads those scenes. So awkward.
<Considers revealing her pen name to her students; decides never ever ever ever ever ever.> :-X
 

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Lydniz said:
An English person writes:

What are second, third and fourth bases, please. Ok, fourth I can guess, but the other two? We play rounders here, not baseball.
Lydniz,

Interestingly, this has changed over the years. It used to be that both involved touching, second above the waist and third below.

Now, third base is second, and third base is--dare I say it--oral sex...

Joe,

I've started a series that's being"written" by one of the characters in my first series. It makes it a lot easier to write passages I'd agonize over otherwise.
 

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Joe,
Just say they kissed passionately don't detail it.    As a reader that works better than many details.
Also unless it is a very long term couple, please do not say I love you immediately after sex.

As an aside, be sure and IRL tell your partner that you love them everyday. 
 
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