I am already working on my pitch to you... which you should receive in March. lol
Dalya, you must have an interesting computer setup. You seem to do this a lot without it interfering with your word countDalya said:*sits on hands*
Only 1700 words today, and all at the last minute. I should be asleep right now, but I'll rest easier knowing I've abused my characters a bit today.Masha du Toit said:Dalya, you must have an interesting computer setup. You seem to do this a lot without it interfering with your word count
Current pitch:PECCADILLO is the first novel in a series featuring female commercial assassin Katla Sieltjes, a specialist in making homicide appear as 'deaths without suspicious circumstances'. Katla works and lives in Amsterdam, the Netherlands.
PECCADILLO is a thriller with a twist - Katla Sieltjes is an unrepented killer, taking pride in her work, but knowing at the same time that she has to keep her efforts secret. Hidden behind the alias Loki Enterprises, she receives anonymous assignments, negotiates the terms with principals through electronic means, all to protect her identity.
Resigned to remain single for the duration of her career Katla meets the enigmatic blind musician Bram Merleyn when he enters the gallery where Katla has just killed the owner. Deciding that the blind man won't make a reliable witness, Katla spares his life. After stalking the blind man to gain information whether he is truly harmless, an opportunity presents itself for a new introduction and Katla becomes tentatively intimate with Bram while the blind man is unaware of her real occupation.
While the relationship between Bram and Katla blossoms and starts to deeply affect both their lives, the suspense mounts to exciting heights as Katla accepts a difficult new high-risk assignment from an unreliable principal - not only her possible exposition and her fragile relationship to Bram are at stake, but her very life is in peril as she scrambles to get back to zero.
Through the developing romance between Katla and Bram, and their interaction with a supporting cast of unusual characters, the reader gains insight in the workings of a commercial assassin service, but also detailed knowledge about the life of session musicians, local information about the famous Dutch capital, the narcotics trade, motorcycle gangs, mehndi bridal tattoos, martial arts, and the brutal effectiveness of disciplined violence.
Assassin Katla breaks her own rules when confronted with an unusual witness...
Blessed with an almost non-existent conscience, Katla Sieltjes, expert in disguising homicide, views assassination as an intricate and rewarding occupation. Hidden behind her male alter ego Loki, Katla receives anonymous assignments, negotiates the terms with clients through electronic means, all to protect her identity. Her solitary existence satisfies her until she meets a blind musician whose failure to notice a 'closed' sign causes him to wander in on Katla's crime scene. And Katla breaks one of her most important rules - never leave a living witness.
Reprobate is the first novel in the Amsterdam Assassin Series. With authentic details and fast-paced action, featuring an uncompromising heroine and a supporting cast of unusual characters, Reprobate gives a rare glimpse in the local Dutch culture, information on the famous Dutch capital, the narcotics trade, computer hacking, motorcycle gangs, mehndi bridal tattoos, martial arts, and the brutal effectiveness of disciplined violence.
So true Anya. It could be punchier. It doesn't tell you much. I will think about it more. What I will say is that as the first phrase of my Amazon description, it makes your eyeballs stop. Then you read the second sentence... That is what I intend my hook to do. It has to get you to the next sentence. Then I have a paragraph or so to make it work. From that standpoint it seems to have worked. But you are right it could be punchier.Anya said:Could I make a tiny suggestion about your possible new blurb opener mentioned in the article? ("Who would Mal Reynolds be if he had never served in the military and had never met Zoe Alleyne?") It doesn't tell me much about who Mal or Zoe are or what the conflict/story is and it could probably be punchier with something more concrete. I hope that's not off-topic!
You're welcome! So was I which is why I wrote the article.R.A. Hobbs said:Ohhhh. I was one of those...
Thank you for giving us a glimpse of what goes on in an agent's head. Great info!
So true, Dalya! I think every writer should ask an agent to just read their email inbox for one day. It would do wonders for the agent because every writer they educated would write better pitches. That is one reason I mentioned the online class by Bree Ogden the agent who writes for Lit Reactor in the article. I know that I could use it.Dalya said:Telling writers about the submissions pile is of little help, IMHO.
You may as well try to teach someone how to swim by describing how much disgust the water feels for humans.
Here's my advice for authors:
1. Get thee to some pure, unadulterated slush. Perhaps a workshop, or queryshark.blogspot.com. Once you FEEL for yourself how monotonous it is to have some great, long sentence at the beginning, you'll stop jamming half your synopsis into that poor suitcase.
2. You can't smell yourself. Write three completely different versions of your pitch/query/blurb, and have a person you don't bone point out what elements are interesting.
Oh, NOW I remember this announcement. This is the one where smreine had to self-moderate a bunch of times in the thread announcing this. I think this thread could eventually turn into something entertaining.Dalya said:*sits on hands*