I wrote what I learned from your review pitches on Lit Reactor

3178 Views 32 Replies 18 Participants Last post by Chris Northern, Jan 18, 2013

erikwecks

Discussion Starter · Jan 17, 2013

Thought I would give you a quick hello and say that I wrote up my experience of sorting through all the pitches many of you sent for GeekDad back in December. I learned a ton of stuff and realized that I had been making all these mistakes myself when asking for reviews of my work. I thought it might be helpful for other writers to get some feedback on what that experience was like on my end. That article went up on Lit Reactor today.

For those of you anxiously waiting for reviews:
I am sorting through the remaining books but I have to confess I have two panels that I am working on for Comic Con Portland in February so I have had to keep reading for those. If I said I wanted a copy of your book, be patient.

Erik Wecks

Here is the link: http://litreactor.com/columns/how-not-to-ask-for-a-book-review

1 - 20 of 33 Posts

BrianKittrell

· #2 · Jan 17, 2013

I am already working on my pitch to you... which you should receive in March. lol

R.A. Hobbs

· #3 · Jan 17, 2013

Ohhhh. I was one of those...

Lesson learnt.

Thank you for giving us a glimpse of what goes on in an agent's head. Great info!

Jeroen Steenbeeke

· #4 · Jan 17, 2013

I just re-read the e-mail I sent you, and noticed I was missing a few crucial words such as "a" and "the".

So, what I learned from your blog post: don't ever rush a review request

dalya

· #5 · Jan 17, 2013

*sits on hands*

Klip

· #6 · Jan 17, 2013

Dalya said:
*sits on hands*

Dalya, you must have an interesting computer setup. You seem to do this a lot without it interfering with your word count

dalya

· #7 · Jan 17, 2013

Masha du Toit said:
Dalya, you must have an interesting computer setup. You seem to do this a lot without it interfering with your word count

Only 1700 words today, and all at the last minute. I should be asleep right now, but I'll rest easier knowing I've abused my characters a bit today.

AmsterdamAssassin

· #8 · Jan 17, 2013

Writing pitches is an art in itself.

At the ABNA 2010, 1000 manuscripts were selected from 5000 entries, based on a 300 word pitch (which is incredibly generous). Many of the writers who weren't selected commiserated on how they 'shouldn't be writing pitches' because they were novel writers, not publicists. A common complaint. My pitch made it through the selection, but re-reading made me cringe and realize how my pitch writing has improved.

Compare:

ABNA 2010 pitch (Reprobate was called Peccadillo back then):

PECCADILLO is the first novel in a series featuring female commercial assassin Katla Sieltjes, a specialist in making homicide appear as 'deaths without suspicious circumstances'. Katla works and lives in Amsterdam, the Netherlands.
PECCADILLO is a thriller with a twist - Katla Sieltjes is an unrepented killer, taking pride in her work, but knowing at the same time that she has to keep her efforts secret. Hidden behind the alias Loki Enterprises, she receives anonymous assignments, negotiates the terms with principals through electronic means, all to protect her identity.
Resigned to remain single for the duration of her career Katla meets the enigmatic blind musician Bram Merleyn when he enters the gallery where Katla has just killed the owner. Deciding that the blind man won't make a reliable witness, Katla spares his life. After stalking the blind man to gain information whether he is truly harmless, an opportunity presents itself for a new introduction and Katla becomes tentatively intimate with Bram while the blind man is unaware of her real occupation.
While the relationship between Bram and Katla blossoms and starts to deeply affect both their lives, the suspense mounts to exciting heights as Katla accepts a difficult new high-risk assignment from an unreliable principal - not only her possible exposition and her fragile relationship to Bram are at stake, but her very life is in peril as she scrambles to get back to zero.
Through the developing romance between Katla and Bram, and their interaction with a supporting cast of unusual characters, the reader gains insight in the workings of a commercial assassin service, but also detailed knowledge about the life of session musicians, local information about the famous Dutch capital, the narcotics trade, motorcycle gangs, mehndi bridal tattoos, martial arts, and the brutal effectiveness of disciplined violence.

Current pitch:

Assassin Katla breaks her own rules when confronted with an unusual witness...

Blessed with an almost non-existent conscience, Katla Sieltjes, expert in disguising homicide, views assassination as an intricate and rewarding occupation. Hidden behind her male alter ego Loki, Katla receives anonymous assignments, negotiates the terms with clients through electronic means, all to protect her identity. Her solitary existence satisfies her until she meets a blind musician whose failure to notice a 'closed' sign causes him to wander in on Katla's crime scene. And Katla breaks one of her most important rules - never leave a living witness.

Reprobate is the first novel in the Amsterdam Assassin Series. With authentic details and fast-paced action, featuring an uncompromising heroine and a supporting cast of unusual characters, Reprobate gives a rare glimpse in the local Dutch culture, information on the famous Dutch capital, the narcotics trade, computer hacking, motorcycle gangs, mehndi bridal tattoos, martial arts, and the brutal effectiveness of disciplined violence.

A.A

· #9 · Jan 17, 2013

Erik, I didn't pitch you; I don't have any sci fi titles. (Yet

)

Very eye-opening article and a good read. I recently changed my blurbs and 'gave away' more of the story than I did before, sacrificing some of the surprise for (hopefully) more immediate interest.

Could I make a tiny suggestion about your possible new blurb opener mentioned in the article? ("Who would Mal Reynolds be if he had never served in the military and had never met Zoe Alleyne?") It doesn't tell me much about who Mal or Zoe are or what the conflict/story is and it could probably be punchier with something more concrete. I hope that's not off-topic!

dalya

· #10 · Jan 17, 2013

Telling writers about the submissions pile is of little help, IMHO.

You may as well try to teach someone how to swim by describing how much disgust the water feels for humans.

Here's my advice for authors:

1. Get thee to some pure, unadulterated slush. Perhaps a workshop, or queryshark.blogspot.com. Once you FEEL for yourself how monotonous it is to have some great, long sentence at the beginning, you'll stop jamming half your synopsis into that poor suitcase.

2. You can't smell yourself. Write three completely different versions of your pitch/query/blurb, and have a person you don't bone point out what elements are interesting.

*IMHO*

erikwecks

Discussion Starter · #11 · Jan 17, 2013

Anya said:
Could I make a tiny suggestion about your possible new blurb opener mentioned in the article? ("Who would Mal Reynolds be if he had never served in the military and had never met Zoe Alleyne?") It doesn't tell me much about who Mal or Zoe are or what the conflict/story is and it could probably be punchier with something more concrete. I hope that's not off-topic!

So true Anya. It could be punchier. It doesn't tell you much. I will think about it more. What I will say is that as the first phrase of my Amazon description, it makes your eyeballs stop. Then you read the second sentence... That is what I intend my hook to do. It has to get you to the next sentence. Then I have a paragraph or so to make it work. From that standpoint it seems to have worked. But you are right it could be punchier.

erikwecks

Discussion Starter · #12 · Jan 17, 2013

R.A. Hobbs said:
Ohhhh. I was one of those...

Lesson learnt.

Thank you for giving us a glimpse of what goes on in an agent's head. Great info!

You're welcome! So was I which is why I wrote the article.

erikwecks

Discussion Starter · #13 · Jan 17, 2013

Dalya said:
Telling writers about the submissions pile is of little help, IMHO.

You may as well try to teach someone how to swim by describing how much disgust the water feels for humans.

Here's my advice for authors:

1. Get thee to some pure, unadulterated slush. Perhaps a workshop, or queryshark.blogspot.com. Once you FEEL for yourself how monotonous it is to have some great, long sentence at the beginning, you'll stop jamming half your synopsis into that poor suitcase.

2. You can't smell yourself. Write three completely different versions of your pitch/query/blurb, and have a person you don't bone point out what elements are interesting.

*IMHO*

So true, Dalya! I think every writer should ask an agent to just read their email inbox for one day. It would do wonders for the agent because every writer they educated would write better pitches. That is one reason I mentioned the online class by Bree Ogden the agent who writes for Lit Reactor in the article. I know that I could use it.

Chris Northern

· #14 · Jan 17, 2013

Everything is subjective, or Interesting how tastes differ. For me, and it may well be just me, the question "What would Mal be without military service/Zoe?" is, to me, meaningless. The character of Mal is defined by those experiences, so the answer to 'what is he without them?' is "anything you like." He would not, just for example, let his desire for freedom from control rule him and lead him to buy Serenity if that time had not happened.

Not meaning to be contentious, particularly (and I did (fair disclosure) - certainly incompetently - pitch for this and was, to the best of my knowledge, ignored) but I do find it interesting that a pitch line that would just make me confused (and make me shrug, as a writer) worked on someone else. And that leads us back to my first line - everything is subjective.

I am now ducking into a G&T for the evening, so feel free to vilify me.

As I said, I don't mean to be contentious... I just find it interesting.

Zelah Meyer

· #15 · Jan 17, 2013

Thank you for sharing that. Some interesting things to mull over there. Blurbs are always tricky!

Edward W. Robertson

· #16 · Jan 17, 2013

Yes. Dalya gets a crown for the day.

Lefty

· #17 · Jan 17, 2013

Dalya said:
and have a person you don't bone

Best line of the day.

vrabinec

· #18 · Jan 17, 2013

Dalya said:
*sits on hands*

Oh, NOW I remember this announcement. This is the one where smreine had to self-moderate a bunch of times in the thread announcing this. I think this thread could eventually turn into something entertaining.

NoCat

· #19 · Jan 17, 2013

Good article. It goes through a lot of things that I (and probably many many others) had to learn the tough way. I think it was one of the few things I got actually beat into my brain from years of pitching novel queries at editors (and writing cover letters for short fiction submissions). Writing a good pitch (or a good blurb) is far, far tougher for me than writing a novel. I was at a workshop once that focused solely on writing these things and it is the only workshop I almost walked out on because I just wanted to cry and give up. I would rather have had someone tell me to write an 80k novel in three days than write one more stupid hooky paragraph telling what a darn book was about.

(It's also some consolation that apparently I learned something from that workshop since Erik reviewed my book (http://www.wired.com/geekdad/2012/12/avarice-by-annie-bellet/) and mentions me in the article. I'd still rather write another novel than write more blurbs

)

dalya

· #20 · Jan 17, 2013

I share this with all my fellow prawns! May we never have to query again!

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