[NogDog]

Use my power to siphon off enough money into Swiss bank accounts for me to live comfortably on a tropical island (but not so much that anyone would go to extreme lengths to get it back), move to said island and abdicate. Who wants a job with that much pressure?

 

[NogDog]

If I decided to stay with the job, I would concentrate on getting all children to learn how to read and to like it (hey, no one said I had to know how to do these things), make sure they have basic math skills, and teach them to be skeptical of everything (including what they read and what experts, celebrities, and even parents tell them -- and especially political pundits and politicians) and to practice critical thinking. Then at least maybe the next generation won't be quite so screwed up (nor as easily screwed).

 

[NogDog]

I would outlaw car commercials that yell at you....

Using the phrase "But wait!..." or "second one free (for an additional handling fee and shipping)" in a commercial would be a capital offense.