Just think, if 50 Shades was repeatedly revised and polished, then all that introspective fidgetting would have surely been taken out and the character would never have come across as neurotic as she did based on the opening. Or.....was the character originally more composed and James put all that fidgeting in there, knowing it would appeal to to bookwormish, meek secretary types who had a little freak in them waiting to be dragged out by the hair at the hands of a wealthy control freak?
I think Kathleen's right. Know your audience, and write for THEM. If what you've written will fly with them, then quit. If you need to change it to better suit the audience you're trying to reach, polish it some more.