[RebeccaKnight]

NO, not that kind!

This kind:

Have you ever heard of Crab Mentality? It's basically where crabs in a bucket could easily escape if they worked together, but instead, whenever a crab makes a break for it, another crab grabs them and pulls them back down.

Welp, I've got crab problems.

Whenever I tell people I know that I've self published, there are always those folks who tell me I'm nuts, chastise me for "giving up," or smile knowingly and ask how many I've sold. I'm almost to 100 e-books sold in 7 weeks, but that's not good enough. I'm a fool for doing what I'm doing.

What do you do when people try to claw you back into the bucket with them?

How do you deal w/ your crabs?

 

[anne_holly]

Well, that's certainly one way to get people to open your thread.

 

[Guest]

When people say things like that to me, I give them crabs.

 

[Millard]

Here's your solution:

(That's not me, BTW, I don't know who it is. Possibly Super Mario)

 

[RebeccaKnight]

@Anne LOL!    Maybe I've just had too much coffee today, but I've amused myself..

@foreverjuly This is sound advice. 

@Millard  Looks like Mario and Ron Jeremy had a shellfish loving baby? 

 

[Monique]

I remind myself that the only people who need to cut your down to size are the ones who feel small themselves. It's not about you, it's about them. Pity them and move on.

 

[MegHarris]

I've said this before, but... I've been disrespected plenty of times over the course of my career.  When I had my first book published, a couple of friends said, "When are you going to write a REAL (ie, nonromance) book?"  I've gotten that same attitude on plenty of forums, too-- romance is one of those genres that plenty of authors enjoy dissing.  When I switched to e-publishing, I got a lot of pitying looks from people who'd never heard of it (in 2003, very few people had!) and who thought an ebook wasn't a "real" book.  And now I get the very same looks when I say I self-publish.

Why worry about what other people think?  I'm having fun writing books and gaining readers.  That's good enough for me.

 

[RebeccaKnight]

@Monique Thank you  . That's a great thing to remember.  Sometimes it's hard not to feel insecure since I still feel like such a newbie, but I have faith in myself. It's good to remember *why* others feel the need to "crab" me.

@Ellen  Grrrr!  I think all of us Genre Writers get poo'd on for the same reason, and yes, I've totally heard "When are you going to have a real book out?" in regards to e-books, too. Sometimes I'm baffled by the comments people make about another person's passion and/or career  . 

Also, I'm super glad you're having fun!    I'm having fun, too, so that has to be a good sign!

 

[ashel]

This is going to be the most popular thread ever.

When people say things like that to me, I give them crabs.

You've been watching South Park reruns, haven't you? Also, now I'm singing Dave Chappelle's version of a sesame street song, which is significantly improving my afternoon.

On a more serious note (just go with it)...just try to remember how you feel when you're writing. Unless you're one of those people who writes through the pain, or something? In which case...I dunno, I've kind of painted myself into a corner, here.

But yeah. If it were me: I don't write for them. I don't know why I write, really, except that when I do it I feel really happy. When I'm not tearing my hair out, obviously. So screw the crabs. (No, wait, don't! Someone take the keyboard away from me already.)

 

[RebeccaKnight]

Genevieve! LOL!    You're killing me over here...

That's a good point, though.  I don't write for the pat on the back, I write for the fun of it and also to make readers happy  .  If I wanted validation from strangers, I'd forego the self publishing and still be slaving away in the query mines.

 

[JeanneM]

I have to thank you so much!  I am going to unpublish my new story.  I feel I may have published too quickly and can make it better.  I came in to find out how to do that and I was feeling really blue.  I saw your thread title and laughed out loud!  You made my day.

On a side note.  People like the status quo. It makes them comfortable and is human nature.  When one of the crowd takes a bold step, they will try to hold them back to the status quo, especially if they don't have the courage it took to do what you did.

If they try to pull you back, you come here and holler.  There will be hundreds of hands reaching to pull you up.    

And when you get a big enough paycheck from epubbing...you take all your friends out to a Crab dinner.  They will keep asking why you are smiling.  Don't tell them.  LOL

 

[ashel]

Ooh, also, think of it like this: you're on the vanguard. The great entrepreneurial tradition, blazing a trail, pioneering westward expansion ho! etc. Also, needing validation from external sources* is usually not a sign of strength, personally or professionally. Wanting....well, yeah. But needing is usually not so good. Also, you're doing pretty darn well, right? Keep on keepin' on, then.

*Not that this is the only reason to go the traditional route! There are plenty of reasons for both choices, some good, some bad, whatever floats your boat is awesome. Nooooot looking to offend anyone.

 

[William Peter Grasso]

This simply has to be the thread title of the year, Rebecca.

Enthusiasm will kill the crabs, or at least make them wander off mumbling to themselves. Reminds me of a quote from Winston Churchill (apologies: I think I've used it before on this forum): Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiam.

Not the greatest analogy ever, but you get what I mean.

WPG

 

[ashel]

And when you get a big enough paycheck from epubbing...you take all your friends out to a Crab dinner. They will keep asking why you are smiling. Don't tell them. LOL

Please, please, please do this.

 

[ashel]

I have to thank you so much! I am going to unpublish my new story. I feel I may have published too quickly and can make it better. I came in to find out how to do that and I was feeling really blue. I saw your thread title and laughed out loud! You made my day.

Don't be down on yourself! I can't remember who said it, but there's some quote to the effect of: the day you're completely satisfied with your writing is the day you stop improving. You're diligent. I'm sure your readers appreciate it, actually.

 

[RebeccaKnight]

Thanks for all the great advice and support, guys! 

Ironically, I'm allergic to crab! BUT, I really should still do the crab dinner thing for the naysayers.... love it!  Very Shakespearean.  BWAHAHAHAHA!

Also, Jeanne, I agree with Genevieve--don't get down on yourself--get excited!  One of the best things about indie pubbing is the ability to be agile with our career choices.  I'm unpubbing and re-pubbing one of my short stories w/ a new cover and title because I realized I could do better.  I'm thrilled that we can do that when we see the need. 

Rock on, lady! 


p.s. now I have the Crab People song stuck in my head. THANKS, TK 

 

[JamieDeBree]

I do exactly what you did - seek out some like-minded individuals, and remind myself that no matter how alone I might feel just then, there are plenty of other people doing the same thing, and banding together as a community. Just knowing we're not the only ones really helps when dealing with the naysayers, I find.

It gets easier to deal with after awhile. I don't argue anymore (trying to defend your stance just makes you look unsure of your own decision, IMO). I pretty much just take a "do what you want, this works for me" approach, and call it good. Once they figure out they can't get a rise out of you, and you're not budging, most people tend to get bored & move on, I've found. Either that, or they start asking meaningful questions on how they might dip a toe in the self-publishing waters... ;-)

 

[Aynoit Ashor]

I've come to realize that everyone is not going to be happy for me.  No matter how "close" they are to me, some are just not going to be happy.  So when I am confronted with crabs, I crack them open and dip them in a little bit of Old Bay seasoning before eating.  No seriously, I have a few people that I share my successes with and the others I don't even bother with on that level.  But I do know who my true supporters are.

 

[RebeccaKnight]

You know, I finally figured out how to deal w/ the guy at work who keeps smirking and asking "How are sales going?"

I just yell "GREAT!" and grin like a maniac  .  Then he goes away.

 

[ToniD]

The people who dump on you for being an Indie are (1) insecure about their own achievements, (2) mean-spirited, and (3) ill-informed.

And (4) buttheads.