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The world has changed in the year since Claire first saw William in her favorite cafe. Vampires are real and the world knows it (at first I took this to mean they've always known...or is this a new development?). To protect themselves ("themselves" originally appeared to refer to "vampires" from previous sentence) from discovery, Claire and William remain hidden on an island not found on any mortal map while they wait (OK, this bugs me. Why are they waiting? For Antonio to attack them? To find out where he is so they can attack him? I think it's important to know.) for Antonio, the leader of the Exiled, to rear his nasty head.

Out of the chaos steps Alec Lewis, the founder of the Order of the Righteous Hand of God. With strong words and a warm smile that hide his ruthless nature, Alec promises sanctuary to those who join the Order. Hell-bent on using the destruction of vampires to vault himself into power, Alec makes a deal with Antonio that endangers those who've trusted him with their lives. (Isn't Antonio a villain? Why do we care about his followers?)

When the Exiled descend on Cairo (to do what?), Claire knows it's time to strike. Leaving the safety of the island, she pursues Antonio across the globe as he frees more of his people. She knows that when she finds him, she should kill him. She also knows if Antonio dies, her entire past dies with him. (Why is Alec Lewis in this blurb? He doesn't seem to have anything to do with the main plot.)


I think this blurb is trying to cover way WAY too much. For a reader unfamiliar with the story, there is not enough coherency. There is a lot that's lightly touched on but not really explained (as per my questions above). I would look at it again with the idea of choosing ONE plot element to focus on and making sure new readers can understand it. Your returning readers are already invested in the book and don't need much enticement; the characters alone are probably enough.

So, try again with plot for new readers, and character drama for returning readers. My suggestion, anyway. :)

Good luck!

M.W
 
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