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At Brendan Carroll's insistence (see I'm blaming someone else), I'm opening this Poetry section for all to exhibit their wares. The request was that only Limerick's be posted, but I say . . . whatever. And be sure to use the spoiler block for all those PG-13, R and X-rated words that Limericks have been known to contain.

I'll begin. It's not mine, but my sainted Irish Auntie Mae's: (It's actually environmentally correct)

There once was a man from Boston,
Who bought a baby Austin,
He had room for his
ass
,
And a gallon of gas,
But his
balls
hung out and he lost 'em.

Edward C. Patterson
 

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Brendan Carroll said:
I have to start over because that posted before I was finished writing it. :-\ I don't know what happened. I'll get back with you on this one, Edward. ;)
weeeeeelllll folks, according to the other thread this was gonna be Adult-ish in nature.... and I guess it holds true so far! ;D
 

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There once was a couple named Kelly
Who went through life belly-to-belly.
One night in their haste
They used library paste
Instead of petroleum jelly.
 

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Here we go for better or worse and I thought I'd try to keep it relevant to the forum.  Hope Miss Miller won't mind:  ;)

I once drank an Allagash beer,
Cause they're very special, I hear.
I awoke the next day
In a big bale of hay
With my eyepatch over my ear. 

I made myself happy!!! ;D  Don't shoot me, Miss Miller.  Free publicity, remember! :)
 

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Brendan Carroll said:
Here we go for better or worse and I thought I'd try to keep it relevant to the forum. Hope Miss Miller won't mind: ;)

I once drank an Allagash beer,
Cause they're very special, I hear.
I awoke the next day
In a big bale of hay
With my eyepatch over my ear.

I made myself happy!!! ;D Don't shoot me, Miss Miller. Free publicity, remember! :)
TOO FUNNY!
 

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In the Garden of Eden, lay Adam,
complacently stroking his Madam,
His was full of mirth
because on all earth
there were only two balls
..and he had them.
 

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Susan in VA said:
Oh Brendan, Brendan.... you should know better than to post a straight line like that. :D
Whoa! Are you preceding me around? :eek: You made me forget my limerick and it was a good one too! :'( One too, are those numbers? Plague! Faith and begorrah! Okay, so here goes:

Susan, who lived in VA
Had an awful lot to say
She posted and posted
Until Brendan she toasted
And he had to move far away!
;)
 

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As I was saying, Edward, I don't know how to use photobucket.  LOL.  Besides, my girlfriend thinks they are just plum ugly and useless, but I beg to differ.  They must have some use... sometime... somewhere.  Enough of that! :D
 

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I knew a man named Brendan Carroll
He drank his beer straight from the barrell
His bike hit the curb, and he woke with but one word
"#@$%*!"


...that's the end of the limerick.  ;)
 

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There once was a lady upnorth.
Who 1-clicked a Kindle, henceforth:
she stalked delivery trucks
‘n spent way too many bucks
and now has a negative net worth.

Weak but I have not had coffee yet:)




 

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mamiller said:
he woke with but one word
"#@$%*!"
...that's the end of the limerick. ;)
I said that before I woke up. Hey! Were you that paramedic? The one with the nine inch nails?
The last time I rode in an ambulance, they charged my insurance $900+ and sent me a bill for
$2200! :eek: The itemized list said they even used the paddles on me. Strangely enough, I was never even unconscious during the ride. I felt every jolt, every bump and every needle. They should have been ashamed. So I'm going to shame them here with this new limerick:

Two ambulance drivers from Day-ton
Pinned their patient to the bed with a nail-gun.
When they got him pinned down,
They both looked around,
Then they robbed him like professional fel-ons.
 
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