My new trashy vamp/zombie/werewolf parody is OUT!!!

PJ-

Congratulations on your book! If you need help with your signature, just let me know!

KindleBoards is a Kindle fan and reader forum. As you browse KindleBoards, keep in mind that self-promotion, of any sort, is ONLY allowed in the Book Bazaar. (You've posted your book thread in the right place; this is just our standard reminder. )

A brief recap of our rules follows:

--Please bookmark this thread (using your browser's bookmark/favorite function) so you can update it as we ask that authors have only one thread per book and add to it when there is more information. You may start a separate thread for each book (or you may have one thread per series of books, or one thread for all of your books, it's your choice).

--We invite you to use your book cover as your avatar and have links to your book and website in your signature. Instructions are posted here

--While you may respond to member posts to your thread at any time, you may only bump your thread (back-to-back posts by you) once every seven days. Once you've responded to a member, that resets the clock to zero and you must wait seven days to post, unless another member posts before then. You may modify the latest post to reflect new information.

--We ask that Amazon reviews not be repeated here as they are easy to find at your book link. Also, full reviews from other sites should not be posted here, but you may post a short blurb and a link to the full review instead.

--Although self-promotion is limited to the Book Bazaar, our most successful authors have found the best way to promote their books is to be as active throughout KindleBoards as time allows. This is your target audience--book lovers with Kindles! Please note that putting link information in the body of your posts constitutes self promotion; please leave your links for your profile signature that will automatically appear on each post. For information on more ways to promote here on KindleBoards, be sure to check out this thread:
Authors: KindleBoards Tips & FAQ.

All this, and more, is included in our Forum Decorum: http://www.kboards.com/index.php/topic,36.0.html. Be sure to check it from time to time for the current guidelines and rules.

Oh, and one more thing: be sure to check out the index threads at the top of the Book Bazaar. . . .there are details there about how you can be listed so that our readers can find you.

Thanks for being part of KindleBoards! Feel free to send us a PM if you have any questions.

Betsy & Ann
Book Bazaar Moderators

Hey, Betsy, I think I'll take you up on that offer for help attaching my new cover. I managed to insert my revised cover after you showed me the first time, but my brain is pretty zombified right now. Thanks!

Thanks, everyone! I've included a little sample (one of the not-so-crude sections) of THE VAMPIRE HANDBOOK:

FROM "THE HANDBOOK FOR IMMORTAL ETIQUETTE" CHAPTER SIX, SECTION 13, RULES FOR LIVING AN ENVIRONMENTALLY FRIENDLY AND URBANE, UNDEAD LIFESTYLE

As you might have already guessed, immortals live a very long time; therefore, they tend to leave a bigger carbon footprint on the planet than their mortal counterparts. In this day and age, where conservation is key for the success of future demonic generations, every immortal must do his/her/its part in preserving the environment. Therefore, according to chapter six, section 13, codes, A-E, each and every immortal must adhere to the following guidelines:

A. Every immortal shall dispose of his/her dead human waste following appropriate recycling regulations. Bodies or remains of bodies shall be properly recycled or eaten to avoid the build-up of left-over waste. Immortals must reuse excess parts by converting the remains to compost, mulch, or clean fuel. Immortals without composters can also employ flesh eating slugs, werewolves, or rabid, demonic, possessed animals to dispose of the remains.
B. Any dwelling or structure where the immortal resides must be made from ancient materials (Egyptian tombs or antiquated caskets) or from recycled, biodegradable materials.
C. Immortals who use cars as their primary method of transport must only drive vehicles that get at least forty miles per gallon. No exceptions! Witches and wizards must make sure their brooms adhere to the most current EPA regulations. If no clean method of transportation is procurable, immortals can always make like zombies and walk.
D. When the need to feed arises, immortals must choose victims in this descending order:
1. Humans who do not preserve the environment (example, soccer moms who drive gas-guzzling Surburbans)
2. Ugly or annoying people (example, Rosie O'Donnell, the Dixie Chick with no neck, though finding a spot to bite may prove tricky, Kathy Griffin, or Carrot Top)
3. Ugly or annoying animals (example, three-legged dogs, rats, goats, the Dixie Chick with no neck, Kathy Griffin or Carrot Top)
E. Immortals must only listen to music within their assigned races:
VAMPIRES - disco
ZOMBIES -Very loud pipe organ music or any music properly befitting a cheesy, low budget, independent film
SHAPE-SHIFTERS - Classic rock
WEREWOLVES - Heavy metal
WITCHES AND WIZARDS - Eighties music, Justin Bieber, or any other form of music that would make humans want to burn out their eardrums with flaming poker sticks
ALL OTHER UNDEAD CREATURES, particularly those with no taste or very little importance in the immortal world - Country