Joined
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90 Posts
I have not posted here enough to have developed any forum friendships, but I have appreciated the openness of everyone's suggestions.
Two weeks ago, my wife of 39 years passed way. Ours was a love-hate relationship for a good 2/3rds of our married life, but I loved her dearly. I am now faced with abject grief over such a loss and debilitating guilt over the things I did or did not do that made her life worse. I can not fall back on faith as I am an atheist and will remain so. I believe in the high moral road of religion but none of the mythology.
I don't honestly know if I will write again. I sold very little so it may not matter. It is odd that the book I published about a month before her passing was titled, Grief Begets and was about a man who lost the one he loved. It strikes me strange. I am in that black hole now and I hope I recover. Adding insult to injury, my wife's social security has now disappeared, leaving me in questionable financial shape for the rest of my life. We weren't doing particularly well in the first place.
So I tell you fine people out there my horrendous news not to elicit sympathy or platitudes. I just wanted to share and I have no social site presence out there. This is the only social interaction I ever have and I live in a rural area with no friends nor family still living.
Thank you for everything and bye for now.
David Mayo, East Texas, 2020
Two weeks ago, my wife of 39 years passed way. Ours was a love-hate relationship for a good 2/3rds of our married life, but I loved her dearly. I am now faced with abject grief over such a loss and debilitating guilt over the things I did or did not do that made her life worse. I can not fall back on faith as I am an atheist and will remain so. I believe in the high moral road of religion but none of the mythology.
I don't honestly know if I will write again. I sold very little so it may not matter. It is odd that the book I published about a month before her passing was titled, Grief Begets and was about a man who lost the one he loved. It strikes me strange. I am in that black hole now and I hope I recover. Adding insult to injury, my wife's social security has now disappeared, leaving me in questionable financial shape for the rest of my life. We weren't doing particularly well in the first place.
So I tell you fine people out there my horrendous news not to elicit sympathy or platitudes. I just wanted to share and I have no social site presence out there. This is the only social interaction I ever have and I live in a rural area with no friends nor family still living.
Thank you for everything and bye for now.
David Mayo, East Texas, 2020