[Mom2AshEmBella]

DH told me last night that his job was taking him out of town for a project He'll be flying our Monday morning and coming home Friday night. He expects this to last for about 18-24 months. I work night shift 1-2 times a week as a nurse and we have 3 young daughters. I can't exactly take them to work with me or leave them home alone. Weekends aren't really an option at this point because we have dedicated staff, besides I would never see DH. I could quit, but it would make things VERY tight financially (with the economy we are able to put most of my paycheck into savings for just in case). DH mother helps out now & then but she has a job, travels alot etc. I have a sister that could help out, but she's not exactly trustworthy. I have thought of hiring a sitter, but I'm not thrilled with the idea of a stranger in my home watching my children.

Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers as we find a solution that works for our family. Any words of wisdom or advice appreciated.

 

[Gertie Kindle]

It sounds like a sitter might be your best solution since you don't trust your sister.  Since you don't want a stranger in your house, maybe a solution would be to ask among your co-workers.  A retired nurse would be ideal; someone with a history just looking for something to keep busy.  You might also ask at your pediatrician's office.  The thing is that you want a trustworthy recommendation. 

 

[Gruntman]

I can understand the frustration, in this current economical climate we all have to adjust to trying situations.  I hope you find a solution that works for you, sitter(retired nurse sounds like a good idea), family(you mention your sister), or leaving your job.  These are all big decisions and have to be considered carefully before making the final choice.  I wish you the best of luck and I hope it works out for you and your family.

 

[pidgeon92]

If I were you, I would seriously consider moving the family to the new location. Rent a home out there, and rent out your home until you can return.

 

[Gruntman]

If I were you, I would seriously consider moving the family to the new location. Rent a home out there, and rent out your home until you can return.

Oh no, yet another choice.

 

[drenee]

How about a friend's grandmother, aunt?  I have an aunt that used to do little things like that just to give her some extra money. 

 

[Gruntman]

My mother would tie us all together.  She figured that there was no way all five of us would agree on anything so we wouldn't be able to get in trouble.

 

[Mom2AshEmBella]

If I were you, I would seriously consider moving the family to the new location. Rent a home out there, and rent out your home until you can return.

We briefly talked about this, but in the state we live in (TX) as long as someone is paying their rent, you can't legally make them leave just because you want your house back (even if the lease has expired). We have a friend that went thru this, and it turned into a terrible headache.

 

[Anju]

To me a retired nurse or some such sounds good - as suggested talk to your pediatrician or fellow nurses.  Moving sounds good, but it also can uproot and be a problem.

 

[Linda Cannon-Mott]

I hope you find a solution that works best for your family. Tough situation any way you look at it. Best of luck and keep us posted!

 

[Leslie]

Can you switch to days instead of nights? It might be easier to find a babysitter or a daycare during the day than for nights. My children were both in daycare from the time they were 6 weeks old (I worked fulltime). There are lots of resources to help you find a good provider, quality setting, etc., whether in a home or center -- but finding care at night is very difficult.

Good luck and keep us posted.

L

 

[Guest]

Uhhhh....

 

[mom133d (aka Liz)]

I understand your feelings about strangers. My son is 2.5 and we've never actually left him in other's care (except for daycare). We have friend's that are willing to swap with us, perhaps that is an option for you? I also have on "reserve" some of my co-worker's teenage daughters - who I am assured have taken the Red Cross Babysitting class. But still, you're talking a full or partial work shift, not dinner and a movie. I'd watch them if we were in the same town. Best of luck and please keep us posted.

 

[kim]

This might not apply, but since you mentioned prayers I'll take the chance...  Check at your church (or whatever organization you might belong to).  Especially with the economy, you might be able to find housewives, retired people, or college kids that would be interested.  And your church is a great network and people would come with good recommendations.

 

[Angela]

DH told me last night that his job was taking him out of town for a project He'll be flying our Monday morning and coming home Friday night. He expects this to last for about 18-24 months. I work night shift 1-2 times a week as a nurse and we have 3 young daughters. I can't exactly take them to work with me or leave them home alone. Weekends aren't really an option at this point because we have dedicated staff, besides I would never see DH. I could quit, but it would make things VERY tight financially (with the economy we are able to put most of my paycheck into savings for just in case). DH mother helps out now & then but she has a job, travels alot etc. I have a sister that could help out, but she's not exactly trustworthy. I have thought of hiring a sitter, but I'm not thrilled with the idea of a stranger in my home watching my children.

Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers as we find a solution that works for our family. Any words of wisdom or advice appreciated.

Mom2AEB, I understand your frustration! First, just being apart is not easy (I am in the same situation right now). Fortunately I don't have the kid issue as mine are grown and gone... I don't have any other suggestions other than what has been mentioned. I will however keep you in my thoughts and prayers as you've requested. Too bad we don't live closer together, maybe I would be able to help (but then I am basically a stranger, too ).

 

[DawnOfChaos]

Sorry you have to make this decision.  Before you invest a lot of time into the sitter thought, consider if the cost difference between your income vs. paying a sitter makes it worthwhile for you to keep working.  Talk to your MIL as to what kind of help she could realistically provide.

Good luck.

 

[Mom2AshEmBella]

Thanks for the encouragement, you guys are great! We still have a couple of weeks to work things out. We are going to talk to MIL and see if she could help out and I'll just go to one day/week. Once summer is here, I can arrange my schedule so that we could spend a week or so with DH a few times throughout the summer. I am good friends with my neighbor and our kids play well together, so I'm sure she would be willing to help out in a pinch.

 

[Kind]

Hopefully a family friend that is quiet trustworthy might be able to help you out. My sister is a new doctor (Child Neurologist) and is in her residency, so she has crazy hours. Her husband works for the government. She has a daughter who is just over 2 years old. She takes her to daycare and it's costing her around $1200 to $1300 per month  . I didn't realize daycare was so expensive.

 

[kim]

That's a great attitude to take.  Just because you are looking at some changes doesn't mean it's a bad thing.  The kids will probably love the travel to dad's place and it's a good time for them to be reminded how much they love and appreciate their dad.  I have a friend where the dad is often away from home for weeks at a time and the kids are amazingly close to him.  When he is home their time together is precious and when he is away they realize how hard he is working for his family.

It sounds like you are going into this with a positive attitude!  That's the most important thing.  With that, you can make it work and you can be a stronger family for it.  I know you'll do it.

Good Luck

 

[Ann in Arlington]

$1200/month seems high but it depends on the area.  And if you need overnight care you're going to pay more.  I frequently see tax clients with upwards of $10,000 in child care costs. . . can be way more if there's more than one child.

Good luck sorting something out!

Ann