[Guest]

Do you think the word 'promiscuous' as used in the following blurb (for an already published book) is offensive or could easily be thought of as offensive - ie. would it be better to change it to something like 'reckless'?

The heroic fantasy saga of a boy searching for his mom.

The adopted son of an earl, Mark fears he will never live up to his father's expectations. But when he learns his mother is a famous warrior who once saved their country from barbarian invasion, he sets out to meet her and become more than the underachiever he no longer wants to be.

Joined by wild and promiscuous warrior princess Ann, Mark travels through barbarian lands and cursed wastes while ever hounded by the minions of an evil duke who plans to kidnap him to control his father. Will timid Mark find the strength to survive endless mercenaries, demonic shrubs, an awkward romance with Ann, and the duke's conniving son who just happens to be named Marcus?

Also, would it be better to cut off the last sentence after 'romance with Ann'?

 

[RoseInTheTardis]

Is her promiscuity really that important to her character that it warrants mention in the blurb? I don't find it offensive--I think women and men have the right to be promiscuous as they please--I just find it puzzling. Like if I were reading that blurb, I'd expect a very sexist portrayal of Ann if that's the second adjective the author has in mind about her.

 

[Guest]

Like if I were reading that blurb, I'd expect a very sexist portrayal of Ann if that's the second adjective the author has in mind about her.

It's supposed to be a quirk considering she's a teenage princess, but yeah that's what I was afraid of...

 

[Jena H]

If her "promiscuity" is just a personality quirk rather than the driving force of her life, I'd consider using a different word.  Is she flirtatious?  (that can lead to promiscuous action)  Bawdy, mischievous, frolicking?  Unless that particular trait defines her behavior most of the time (in other words, unless that's all she is), I'd find another word to use.

Now that I think about it, men who sleep around are rarely described as promiscuous.  Another reason to use a different word.

 

[RoseInTheTardis]

Oh totally. And I get it in relation to the timid guy. I think it's fine to make it a character quirk, but maybe phrase it differently in the blurb? I LOVE promiscuous unapologetic ladies in fiction but the word's connotation suggests negativity.

Confident? Since it's the antithesis of timid?

 

[Guest]

If her "promiscuity" is just a personality quirk rather than the driving force of her life, I'd consider using a different word. Is she flirtatious? (that can lead to promiscuous action) Bawdy, mischievous, frolicking? Unless that particular trait defines her behavior most of the time (in other words, unless that's all she is), I'd find another word to use.

Now that I think about it, men who sleep around are rarely described as promiscuous. Another reason to use a different word.

Promiscuous doesn't define her all around but 'reckless' would, would that sound better?

 

[Quiss]

"Brazen" might make a nice contrast to "timid"

 

[G_Bingley]

I second the "assuming the book is sexist when I read that the heroine is promiscuous" statement. I think I would change it to reckless and then in the sentence about the romance after you describe him as timid you could say an awkward romance with the more experienced Ann... etc. That lets us know he's a virgin and she's not without really placing any judgement on her for not being one.

Hope that helps.

 

[Jena H]

Promiscuous doesn't define her all around but 'reckless' would, would that sound better?

Reckless is good. So is brazen. How about impulsive? Adventurous? Free-spirited? Impetuous?

 

[Vera Nazarian]

Promiscuous is just not a good word for a blurb, because it reflects more on the mores of the speaker than the subject.

Feel free to use it inside the book itself, maybe in dialogue, such as, have some other characters refer to her this sway (to reflect their own personal bias).

In a blurb, better to use flighty, flirty, brazen, incorrigible, wild, flirt, a girl who smiles at every boy, etc -- anything less judgmental.

 

[Guest]

I think I would change it to reckless and then in the sentence about the romance after you describe him as timid you could say an awkward romance with the more experienced Ann... etc. That lets us know he's a virgin and she's not without really placing any judgement on her for not being one.

This seems like a good idea to me, the rest of you think so?

The blurb is definitely not supposed to be negative towards Ann since she's the star of the show, she's even on the cover over the male MC.

 

[Terrence OBrien]

It's not offensive, but think of the last ten times you heard the word used. It seems to be used in a judgmental way. Ever hear someone say, "I am promiscuous?"

Maybe, "wild in life and love?"

"Free spirit in battle and bed?"

Or perhaps I suck at this kind of story.

 

[Mathew Reuther]

It's not offensive, but think of the last ten times you heard the word used. It seems to be used in a judgmental way. Ever hear someone say, "I am promiscuous?"

Maybe, "wild in life and love?"

"Free spirit in battle and bed?"

Or parhaps I suck at this kind of story.

No, actually, I rather like those better than the original word. Promiscuous is a word used by my dear departed grandmother.

 

[Kate Argyll]

Too judgmental and makes blurb writer sound cringe-makingly sexist, particularly as the rest of her description is all about her strength. I like GBingley's suggestion.

 

[Andrew Ashling]

Difficult. At least if you leave it in you won't get one-star reviews from easily shocked people who discover her wanton ways in the book itself. 

 

[Caddy]

My grandma would have said that.  How about wild and wanton ways? Or wild and decandent?

 

[Vukovina]

I don't think promiscuous is an offensive word, but I agree with the others, who say you should change it. Brazen is a good word. Or you could go with slutty, if that's more of the meaning you were after.

 

[Al Dente]

I think "brazen" is absolutely the word you should use.

 

[Guest]

Okay, will change it to brazen - in support of adding 'the more experienced' in front of Ann when referring to their romance?

 

[antares]

(W)ould it be better to cut off the last sentence after 'romance with Ann'?

Yes.