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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
First I want to thank everyone for your comments on the last set of covers I presented. I took the feedback, have done some tweaking and this is what I have as of now:

Ellis Rogers is running out of time, even for a man with his own time machine.
A Detroit factory worker, who has always played it safe and done the right thing, finds himself rewarded with unemployment, a loveless marriage, and a terminal illness. Now with nothing to lose he's willing to take an insane gamble. All he has to do is press the red button, and if he survives, he could find more than just a cure for his disease. Ellis could discover a future that challenges his understanding of what it means to be human, what it takes to love, and the cost of paradise.

Welcome to Hollow World, a science fiction thriller from the bestselling author of The Riyria Revelations.



Yes, I know the person on the cover is not the person talked about in the blurb...but considering the fact that Ellis Rogers is a very 'ordinary guy' and the person portrayed (Pax...one of the genetically identical people of the future - is more "distinctive") I thought it was important to have Pax on the cover and to write a description focusing on Pax would give away A LOT of spoilers.

So a few questions...

1. Is this good now...or are further enhancements needed (to either )

2. Is it a huge issue that the character on the cover is not the main character?

Thanks in advance for the feedback.
 

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Discussion Starter · #2 ·
Sorry, I should have included the original - and indicated the differences:



  • Removed outline on title
  • Put "Pax" in full color rather than the monochome tint
  • Changed effect on author name
  • Instead of a pure monochrome background, made it a wash
  • Cleaned up some of the graphics and added "final" background
  • Added mention about prior series
 

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I will leave the feedback on the blurb to writers. Being a cover artist, I'll just say that the cover is gorgeous! The changes definitely work and make it look more polished. You could leave the original colors of the background while just changing the person's skin tone but that is just nitpicking.
 

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I don't think it's a big issue that the person on the cover is not the main character. There are other books that have put different characters on the cover. Some of the newer House of Night novels have done that.

As for the blurb, it certainly hooked my attention. The line about Ellis doing everything right and still getting screwed over makes him instantly sympathetic and easy to relate to, and your use of the word "insane" to describe the gamble he makes really sells his feeling of desperation. And of course, your use of the "red button" imagery is just classic. Based on this blurb, I'd be interested enough to give the book a read. :)
 

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The blurb is good, the cover is okay.  I like most of the changes to your cover with the exception of the foreground character image.  I actually think the washed-out image works better on the cover.  The major problem with the character image, IMO, is the unnatural profile.  It looks off somehow.  Other than that, I think the cover is okay.
 

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Michael_J_Sullivan said:
Ellis Rogers is running out of time, even for a man with his own time machine.
A Detroit factory worker, who has always played it safe and done the right thing, finds himself rewarded with unemployment, a loveless marriage, and a terminal illness. Now with nothing to lose he's willing to take an insane gamble. All he has to do is press the red button, and if he survives, he could find more than just a cure for his disease. Ellis could discover a future that challenges his understanding of what it means to be human, what it takes to love, and the cost of paradise.

Welcome to Hollow World, a science fiction thriller from the bestselling author of The Riyria Revelations.
Cover looks good--better than before.

Not crazy about the phrasing of:

Ellis Rogers is running out of time, even for a man with his own time machine.


How about:

Ellis Rogers has a time machine but is running out of time.

or something like that.
 

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I've got two pennies in my pocket ... My suggestion you are free to ignore:

Even a man with a time machine can run out of time.

Ellis Rogers worked long hours in the factory, lived right, and pursued the American Dream. His reward? Unemployment, a loveless marriage, and a terminal illness. With nothing to lose he takes an insane gamble. He presses the red button. If he survives, he could find more than just a cure. Ellis could discover a future that challenges his understanding of what it means to be human and what it takes to love. He could discover the high cost of paradise.

The bestselling author of The Riyiria Revelations plunges you into a science fiction thriller that will leave you breathless. Welcome to Hollow World. Enjoy the ride.

Note: If he survives. Is the danger him surviving? Because the rest implies that he does. So there must be danger in the story beyond the red button. The last sentence needs doubt and danger but I don't know the story and cannot make a suggestion. I would cut the "if he survives" and move danger to the end.

Perhaps something like ...

He presses the red button and discovers a future that challenges his understanding of what it means to be human and what it takes to love. He discovers the high cost of paradise. He may even discover a cure for his disease.
 

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I haven't read the other responses, but I love the blurb and I love the cover. This would be something I'd buy.
 

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Hi Michael,

I agree that this sentence: "Ellis Rogers is running out of time, even for a man with his own time machine." Sounds a tiny bit awkward. I love the idea of it. Not sure of a suggestion however.

As for the cover, I love it. Feels to me like the word 'World' could be brought to the left just a touch. Maybe you wanted it that way, not sure. The OCD part of me felt the layout of the two words was a tiny bit uneven. Obviously those are very slight corrections to what I think is another awesome cover.
 

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Quick suggestion. Remove as below:

Now with nothing to lose he's willing to take an insane gamble. All he has to do is press the red button, and if he survives, he could find more than just a cure for his disease.
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
The Dark Rayne said:
I will leave the feedback on the blurb to writers. Being a cover artist, I'll just say that the cover is gorgeous! The changes definitely work and make it look more polished. You could leave the original colors of the background while just changing the person's skin tone but that is just nitpicking.
Thanks - Coming from someone who does this kind of work really means a lot.
 

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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
Zachery Richardson said:
I don't think it's a big issue that the person on the cover is not the main character. There are other books that have put different characters on the cover. Some of the newer House of Night novels have done that.
I'm glad you think so...it's what I feel as well, but there are those who said it had to change - I'll see what else people say as I make it through the comments.

Zachery Richardson said:
As for the blurb, it certainly hooked my attention. The line about Ellis doing everything right and still getting screwed over makes him instantly sympathetic and easy to relate to, and your use of the word "insane" to describe the gamble he makes really sells his feeling of desperation. And of course, your use of the "red button" imagery is just classic. Based on this blurb, I'd be interested enough to give the book a read. :)
Thanks!
 

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Great cover. Only one thing I'd try on for size: set the tracking of "WORLD" so it fits exactly under "HOLLOW", or center it under.
 

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LOVE IT!!!

I love David Alistair Hayden's suggestion for the tagline. Now that's grabby!

I feel the blurb is a bit vague for my liking. I prefer concrete details to vagueness like "a future that challenges his understanding of what it means to be human, what it takes to love, and the cost of paradise." I'd prefer a few intriguing details of what that future is really like. That could, of course, just be me.

I also agree that "WORLD" needs to be centered under "HOLLOW."

Hope that helps!

Rue
 

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Discussion Starter · #20 ·
Pearson Moore said:
The blurb is good, the cover is okay. I like most of the changes to your cover with the exception of the foreground character image. I actually think the washed-out image works better on the cover. The major problem with the character image, IMO, is the unnatural profile. It looks off somehow. Other than that, I think the cover is okay.
Thanks for the feedback...The problem with the "washed out character" was that people said Pax (name of the character) looked like a vampire or zombie. Can you expound on what you find "unnatural" about the profile? It is from a photograph of a person, I did photo shop it a little but it's not something i drew from scratch.
 
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