[theresa57]

My 18 year old son has been diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrom, but I cannot seem to find out how to help him.
We went to our local mental health clinic, and he was interviewed and diagnosed, but they never called back.  I just want to find everyday people who have family members with Asperger's so I can understand it better.
He has some very unique ways, and he is inflexible on change in any area!

 

[Jeff]

I just want to find everyday people who have family members with Asperger's so I can understand it better.
He has some very unique ways, and he is inflexible on change in any area!

My grandson has Asperger's. Send me a PM and I'll try to put you in touch with my son and daughter-in-law, if you'd like. They've been down the road with it.

Don't panic. It isn't as bad as it might sound. Absent minded professor is a valid description of someone with Asperger's. If your son's gone 18 years without being diagnosed it can't be severe.

There are a lot of nurses and medical professionals here. I'm certain that our members will be able to help you.

 

[pidgeon92]

No personal experience, but I heard this woman speak a few years ago on Science Friday, and she was fascinating... She also suffers from Asperger's.



Ooh, they still have the audio archive online... Look on the right side of this page, under Temple Grandin:

Science Friday - Temple Grandin

 

[theresa57]

Thank you! I just am so tired of hearing friends and family talk about how "wierd" he is!

 

[Bacardi Jim]

If he's 18 and has only now been diagnosed--GET A SECOND OPINION!  Asperger's is normally diagnosed in pre-school.

 

[Jeff]

If he's 18 and has only now been diagnosed--GET A SECOND OPINION! Asperger's is normally diagnosed in pre-school.

Jim's right. I should have said that.

 

[Gables Girl]

Sometimes it isn't so obvious with some people until they are in their teens, but I would definitely get another diagnosis.  There are a lot of books on Kindle on Asperger's type in Asperger's and they will pop up then you can sample them.  The Michael John Carley book is good.  I've had employees with Asperger's totally into their work to the exclusion of everything else and don't make any changes to their world.  Good luck, he isn't weird he is just different.

 

[Linda Cannon-Mott]

As a nurse I believe in second opinions! I tell my family, friends, anyone that will listen. Too many people are misdiagnosed and treated incorrectly not to take the time to get a second opinion.

Speaking from a patient standpoint who was misdiagnosed by not one but 5 doctors you are responsible for your own health. You need to do the research. You need to list your questions and when that doctor tells you, have nice day because he has other patent's to see you must have the courage to say, "stop, I am paying for a service and I have questions that I need answers for."

I had 3 newspaper articles, a TV interview and I speak to Rotary Clubs, Sunday School classes, Garden Club's on this very subject.

If you are misdiagnosed you have a price to pay:

loss of time

taking medications that more than likely aren't helping but have terrible side effects

suffering if it is a medical condition that causes pain

frustration from not getting better

loss of self esteem and self consciousness if it is a medical condition that causes people to stare or make rude remarks

questioning your sanity

Let me get off my soapbox but the first thing you need to do is get that second opinion.

Linda

 

[Anju]

Theresa57 - sounds like you have some good help here, and there might be more who have not read your post yet.  I know nothing about it but there is a world of knowledge waiting for you.

 

[theresa57]

I was told he had sensory integration? issues, and that he had ADD, but things have progressed for the worse in the last two years.

He does not have any friends
Kids at school picked on him and called him names
He will only wear t-shirts and jeans (doesn't like the way other fabrics "feel").
I've never had any behavior problems with him, but he prefers to be alone
There is a list of less than 25 items that he will eat-EVER.
He will not take any type of medicine for any reason
He would like to get a job, but has no idea what he wants to do

I just feel helpless sometimes....

 

[Mikuto]

A good friend of mine has Asberger's, so I don't have extensive experience, but I have experience.

Kids at school picked on him and called him names
He will only wear t-shirts and jeans (doesn't like the way other fabrics "feel").
I've never had any behavior problems with him, but he prefers to be alone

I was picked on in school, preferred to be alone most of the time, and have a distinct tactile dislike for fabrics that aren't cotton or silk/polyester blends. Those things might just be quirks, rather than symptoms. Though my friend with Asberger's dealt with the food issue you mention.

I don't know if this is much help, but I come from a family with extensive mental illness running through it, and I myself have Bipolar disorder, so if you have any questions on generic mental illness, or the mental health system in the USA, I can probably answer them.

 

[theresa57]

Just to clarify, my son is a wonderful young man. He has never given me a minute's trouble, and is a very caring young man. Even though he is 18, he looks about 15, and I would say that he is about 15 mentally.
He got his driver's permit, but is petrified of driving, and he's told me that he doubts he will ever get married, because no girl would like someone like him.

Thank you all for being so kind, and giving helpful suggestions!

 

[Mikuto]

My friend with Asberger's Syndrome was the nicest, sweetest, most thoughtful girl you could know. She also had a full time job and several choice friends, so it's not the end of road if this diagnosis is correct.

He got his driver's permit, but is petrified of driving, and he's told me that he doubts he will ever get married, because no girl would like someone like him.

Are you sure you're not describing me when I was a teenager? The similarities are wild!

 

[Lotus]

I'd agree on getting a second opinion. It seems Asperger's has become a "popular" disease in the last few years. I have a feeling that a lot of people who are socially awkward or have other seemingly odd behaviors get lumped into Asperger's.

And, being 18 and having no idea what he wants to do for a job is in no way uncommon. I wouldn't even consider that a symptom of anything.

 

[Linda Cannon-Mott]

I'd agree on getting a second opinion. It seems Asperger's has become a "popular" disease in the last few years. I have a feeling that a lot of people who are socially awkward or have other seemingly odd behaviors get lumped into Asperger's.

And, being 18 and having no idea what he wants to do for a job is in no way uncommon. I wouldn't even consider that a symptom of anything.

Asperger's is too quickly given as a diagnosis in today's society because 2 out of 3 kids from early school age to late teens have many of the symptoms. They are your typical kid, picky eaters, don't know what they want to do with their life, wear their feelings on their sleeves, mood swings, just to name a few.

Theresa I am not making light of your son's situation and he may very well have Asperger's. I am just encouraging you to get a second opinion. If nothing else it would give you peace of mind and if indeed he does have it then you form a plan of action. I would imagine there are support groups and that is where I would would start.

Linda

 

[Mikuto]

A second or third opinion is always extremely important in any sort of medical case. *Nod* So I'm agreeing with everyone else here. If possible, please have him evaluated by a few more doctors before you settle into the diagnosis.

 

[theresa57]

I will work on that 2nd opinion, thanks!

Mikuto-that IS something,isn't it? lol

I'm trying not to worry too much just yet, as he is safe here at home, and enjoys spending lots of his time online playing City of Heroes, watching Jeff Dunham, and collecting dragons!

 

[Cowgirl]

I believe  Bill Gates has Asperger's and he's done pretty well for himself!

 

[kim]

Theresa,
I have no experience with this subject, but never the less, my heart goes out to you.  It can be very difficult to get the right help for our teenagers.  Be tenacious and don't give up.  You already have some good advice here and lots of moral support.  You'll find the right answers for you son and he'll be greatly helped by it. 

Good Luck!

 

[Gertie Kindle]

I'm trying not to worry too much just yet, as he is safe here at home, and enjoys spending lots of his time online playing City of Heroes, watching Jeff Dunham, and collecting dragons!

Sounds normal to me!!

I'm not making light of this either. I just hate to see someone categorized or labeled because they don't "fit in." I also don't want to see your son hold himself back because he only sees himself as other people see him.

I'll 23rd what everyone else has said. Get a second and even a third opinion, and don't go to someone your first opinion recommends. They might just back each other up as a matter of professional courtesy.