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Much improved, but still has about it an amateurish feel.  Take a look at a couple dozen trailers, find some you like.  You will begin to see effects that you can replicate with even the cheapest software.  For instance, rather than simply flashing one image after another, you could transition with fade-in/fade-out.  This can be done with the musical background, too, so that if you must splice for some reason the transition can be less harsh.  There are lots of other, more professional things that can be done.

Writing is not a matter of getting thoughts down on paper, checking for errors, and publishing.  I can turn out a novel in less than 30 days.  But writing is the least time-intensive aspect of the process.  Various types of editing must be done, word choice must be optimised, word use patterns must be studied and annoying usage eliminated, sentence structure must be examined.  Scenes must have dramatic integrity, chapters must flow nicely and have a logical beginning and endpoint, the plot must be examined and any holes dealt with, character arcs must be fully developed.  These essential elements are simply not optimised on a first go-around, yet most of them are far from any indie writer's thoughts.  A novel can be churned out in 30 days, but a novel anyone other than my friends and family is going to read will required months, and more likely *years* of daily, intense effort.  Writing is not a sprint.  It is a very, very long ultra-marathon, a daily endurance test that goes on and on and on, month after long month.  If you stick with it, though, and discipline yourself for the long and definitely difficult run, you will create something people will read.

Best of luck!
 

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Hi,

It was better in some ways but the editing had a few rough jumps in it.  I have a suggestion and am sending you a PM.  Hang in there.  :)
 
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