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Okay, so I'm at a books signing at a Barnes & Noble downtown for four authors, one of them local. So they did some excerpt readings, and the crowd was impressed and stared up at them with awe and idolatry. When the time came for questions, I quickly raised my hand and asked "How has the indie movement affected your outlook on your careers, what with Kindle and eBooks becoming more and more popular?"
They gave me looks so dark they could have only been spawned of Dagon's black colon in the deepest pits of R'lyeh. The local author stepped around the table and approached me. I was terrified; I didn't know what they were going to do. Then he held out a hand and said "come up and sit with us."
Confusingly, I accepted his hand and he pulled me to my feet. I followed him up to the table and sat in one of the empty seats. He sat beside me, placed his hand on my shoulder, and said "This is how we feel about the indie movement."
I was shell-shocked; traditionally published authors were embracing our cause! I sat there, thinking this defining moment over. This was already impressive news in a local sense, but if I took things a step further, it would be of national interest.
I kidney-punched the local author to my left, and elbowed the one to my right. A riot broke out, and I spent a few hours at the Salt Lake City Sheriff's Department explaining my story. Then my mom came by to pick me up. I got in one little fight and my mom got scared! she said "You're moving with your auntie and uncle in belair!"
I begged and pleaded with her day after day, but she packed my suitcase and sent me on my way. She gave me a kiss and she gave me my ticket. I put my walkman on and said, 'I might as well kick it.'
I whistled for a cab and when it came near, the license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror! If anything I can say that this cab was rare, but I thought 'Nah forget it - yo homes, to Bel Air!' I pulled up to the house, about 7 or 8, And I yelled to the cabbie 'Yo homes smell ya later!' I looked at my kingdom, I was finally there! To sit on my throne as the Prince of Bel Air.
They gave me looks so dark they could have only been spawned of Dagon's black colon in the deepest pits of R'lyeh. The local author stepped around the table and approached me. I was terrified; I didn't know what they were going to do. Then he held out a hand and said "come up and sit with us."
Confusingly, I accepted his hand and he pulled me to my feet. I followed him up to the table and sat in one of the empty seats. He sat beside me, placed his hand on my shoulder, and said "This is how we feel about the indie movement."
I was shell-shocked; traditionally published authors were embracing our cause! I sat there, thinking this defining moment over. This was already impressive news in a local sense, but if I took things a step further, it would be of national interest.
I kidney-punched the local author to my left, and elbowed the one to my right. A riot broke out, and I spent a few hours at the Salt Lake City Sheriff's Department explaining my story. Then my mom came by to pick me up. I got in one little fight and my mom got scared! she said "You're moving with your auntie and uncle in belair!"
I begged and pleaded with her day after day, but she packed my suitcase and sent me on my way. She gave me a kiss and she gave me my ticket. I put my walkman on and said, 'I might as well kick it.'
I whistled for a cab and when it came near, the license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror! If anything I can say that this cab was rare, but I thought 'Nah forget it - yo homes, to Bel Air!' I pulled up to the house, about 7 or 8, And I yelled to the cabbie 'Yo homes smell ya later!' I looked at my kingdom, I was finally there! To sit on my throne as the Prince of Bel Air.
Bilbo Baggins was in Salt Lake City, and I missed him??
