[Josh St. John]

Would love some feedback...

Blurb (still a WIP):

While humans may believe that the Apocalypse was caused by angering the gods of their respective religions, she knew the truth. The animals felt the coming apocalypse long before the humans realized that their very Earth was about to turn against them, and the Owl Queen was smart enough to gain control over that very realization.

Within the destruction left from the fire that fell from the sky, only the animals remain. Prophesied by the Owl Queen and her loyal army for years, the Apocalypse has started a war of control between the various factions of animals left behind -- revealing ancient magic passed down from generation to generation. From the noble woodland creatures led by a quiet and mysterious council, to the domesticated animals who were once companions for humankind everywhere.

Esha, Galen, Wick, and Phince have been friends since childhood. When the Apocalypse strikes, they find themselves equipped with the gift of the ancestors, mastery of the arcane... magic. These new-found abilities must be practiced quickly, for a faction that has been shrouded in mystery and exiled for years has returned.

Outside of the warring factions of animals left behind, the owls who foretold of the Apocalypse have regrouped. With the return of magic, the war has grown into a struggle of power. Not only power over the arcane, but power over life... and death. The Owl Queen has foretold of a new prophecy. One where Owls, a faction of their own, rule the land under her command. In order to grow her army, the Queen comes up with a painful curse. A curse that will transform anyone who ingests it into a bloodthirsty and frenetic owl, hellbent on destruction. A curse that will make this prophecy come true. The prophecy of Acorn 666.

Don't eat the acorns.

How can two mice, a rabbit, and a raccoon bring peace to a new world full destruction and fear?

---

UPDATED COVER DEEPER IN THREAD

I'm not sure how I feel about where "Book 1: Fire Sky" and "Season 1" are placed. I had trouble placing them anywhere else, and just decided to stick 'em there.

 

[Sever Bronny]

Hiyas again Josh

Love the owl painting, but the typography doesn't work--too sci fi. Just my 2 cents

 

[nonbreaking space]

i don't understand the use of book 1 & season 1 together?

also 'fire sky' & 'acorn'  and where does '666' fit in?

i think you should consolidate to a simpler title.  'fire sky' is pretty catchy.

 

[Josh St. John]

i don't understand the use of book 1 & season 1 together?

also 'fire sky' & 'acorn' and where does '666' fit in?

i think you should consolidate to a simpler title. 'fire sky' is pretty catchy.

I'm going to go the serial/episodic route, a bunch of 20-25k novellas making up a "season". I guess "season" isn't needed if I keep the book numbers going after each season. Acorn 666 is the title of the series, which won't be changing because it's related to the story.

Hiyas again Josh

Love the owl painting, but the typography doesn't work--too sci fi. Just my 2 cents

Hey Sever Haha! I was worried it was too "horror"! Thanks for the .02.

 

[w5I6r0zh3E5uMz]

I like the picture, but I think all the verbiage at the bottom of the page makes that part of the cover too busy. Unless you have a big fan base, I'd consider moving your name to the bottom and the series title to the top. I would experiment placing the book name and number in a different spot.

 

[NoahMullette-Gillman]

I like the illustration. I don't think you need "Season One." Save that for your collected editions.

The 666 does seem separated from the title. And, frankly, I think it's a stronger title without it.

Sometimes it can work putting the author's name at the top and the title at the bottom, but for some reason it doesn't completely feel like it is in this case.

 

[Josh St. John]

Interesting! Thanks folks. I'm going to play around with switching the author name/title around, and making the Acorn and 666 more "together".  I'll also remove the season thing completely.

 

[Paul K]

Love the image, but the typography needs more work (as has been mentioned). A bit jumbled and confusing.

 

[NoahMullette-Gillman]

I have a similar situation. There are 6 "Episodes" of Farther Than We Dreamed out, each about 25,000 words. 1-4 are collected into a larger edition (Which I just had to drop from my signature. I ran out of room!) Episode One is Free.

If you want, take a look at how I've done it.

 

[Josh St. John]

I have a similar situation. There are 6 "Episodes" of Farther Than We Dreamed out, each about 25,000 words. 1-4 are collected into a larger edition (Which I just had to drop from my signature. I ran out of room!) Episode One is Free.

If you want, take a look at how I've done it.

Ahhhhh.. that helps! Thank you!

 

[nonbreaking space]

how about:

FIRE SKY (big)
Acorn 666 (smaller)
Season 1, Episode 1

author name


then when you do an omnibus you can do 'Acorn 666: The complete first season'

just a thought based on what i've seen. i've never done a serial. hope it helps.

 

[NoahMullette-Gillman]

Ahhhhh.. that helps! Thank you!

I found it better to refer to the collected edition as "Episodes 1-4" rather than Book One. That made it less confusing.

 

[Josh St. John]

Thoughts with the changes?

Blurb (STILL A WIP!):

While humans may believe that the Apocalypse was caused by angering the gods of their respective religions, she knew the truth. The animals felt the coming apocalypse long before the humans realized that their very Earth was about to turn against them, and the Owl Queen was smart enough to gain control over that very realization.

Within the destruction left from the fire that fell from the sky, only the animals remain. Prophesied by the Owl Queen and her loyal army for years, the Apocalypse has started a war of control between the various factions of animals left behind -- revealing ancient magic passed down from generation to generation. From the noble woodland creatures led by a quiet and mysterious council, to the domesticated animals who were once companions for humankind everywhere.

Esha, Galen, Wick, and Phince have been friends since childhood. When the Apocalypse strikes, they find themselves equipped with the gift of the ancestors, mastery of the arcane... magic. These new-found abilities must be practiced quickly, for a faction that has been shrouded in mystery and exiled for years has returned.

Outside of the warring factions of animals left behind, the owls who foretold of the Apocalypse have regrouped. With the return of magic, the war has grown into a struggle of power. Not only power over the arcane, but power over life... and death. The Owl Queen has foretold of a new prophecy. One where Owls, a faction of their own, rule the land under her command. In order to grow her army, the Queen comes up with a painful curse. A curse that will transform anyone who ingests it into a bloodthirsty and frenetic owl, hellbent on destruction. A curse that will make this prophecy come true. The prophecy of Acorn 666.

Don't eat the acorns.

How can two mice, a rabbit, and a raccoon bring peace to a new world full destruction and fear?

 

[Paul K]

Big improvement.

 

[Josh St. John]

Thanks Paul.

 

[Sever Bronny]

Might be a good idea to pair it up with your blurb (in whatever state it's in--or use an old version) just so people can get an idea of the genre.

 

[Josh St. John]

Might be a good idea to pair it up with your blurb (in whatever state it's in--or use an old version) just so people can get an idea of the genre.

Done! Thanks.

 

[Josh St. John]

Thought I'd toss this to the top just once for the morning crew to review, if possible. Thanks. <3

 

[Josh St. John]

Ooh this is much better. I think 'Episode 1: Fire Sky' might look better centred, but it's still pretty great. Acorn 666 looks much more coherent now.

(p.s. If you add 'updated' or something similar to the thread title, you'll probably get a lot more input, as most people who looked at it before are unlikely to click on it again without some indication that there's been a change.)

Thank you! Hehe, and thanks for the "updated" tip. Just added it. Thanks again.

 

[SA_Soule]

Hiyas again Josh

Love the owl painting, but the typography doesn't work--too sci fi. Just my 2 cents

I agree, the fonts don't work.