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I would like to talk to you about my head, the former residence of what used to be my hair.

For Christmas I received a "professional hair-cutting kit," which is nice, except for the fact that I'm an amateur when it comes to cutting hair and the kit does not cut hair by itself. At least, I don't think it does. I haven't read the directions.

I hate getting my hair cut, so it had been a while since I had sat in the barber's chair and let a virtual stranger wield scissors near the part of my body that houses my brain, eyes and other key parts of the human body. I decided that I would cut my own hair from now on. Why not? I did it as a teenager and, as we all know, there are no bad teenager ideas.

So anyway, I just spent the last hour cutting my own hair for the first time in many years. I went in with the plan that, because I am getting older and my hair is thinning anyway, I would use the clippers sparingly, just enough to trim up and get rid of the sections that were getting a little too long. This plan did not work.

What happened was, I trimmed one side, then the other, then realized they were uneven, so I had to trim the longer side to make it match the shorter side, and then check both, and realized that I had trimmed a little too much on the second go around. This went on for a while, back and forth, evening up the sides, until I realized I had basically gone as short as I could go without reaching skin.

That took care of the sides, but I still had to do the top. At this point, with the closely-cut sides, and the top still long (long enough to stretch down to my nose, by the way) I basically looked like a grown person with a mane. And that is not a good look. Trust me.

So I started on the top of my head, clippers buzzing away, hair falling to the countertop, sink and floor, cutting, cutting, cutting....

It's short. Shorter than I've worn it in years. Short enough to say that when I take a shower, rather than washing my hair, I'll pretty much be shining my head. OK, not quite that short, but short enough to the point where my eyebrows now seem long.

But that's OK. Haircuts are not permanent. My hair will grow back. Theoretically....
 

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:D I would be in a similar boat if I tried to cut my own hair, so I don't. I don't even cut hubby's hair. He goes to his mom's and lets her wield the clippers because I'm too scared I'll mess it up.
 

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*wiping tears of laughter* I'm sorry that you had a bad hair experience, Jeff, but thank you for telling us about it in such an entertaining way. May your hair grow back quickly. :)
 

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I once ended up clean shaven after trying to even the sides of my full beard. Now that's the barber's job.
 

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Thanks for sharing your adventures in hair !!  giggle

I went short buzz for a while and trimmed it myself.....honestly it was more work than longhair.  I am back to my ponytail !
 

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Jeff Tompkins said:
I haven't read the directions.
You don't suppose that this might have had something to do with it...? ;D
 

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I hate getting haircuts too. Now that I'm retired I don't have to. That's perhaps why I look like this.



<--------
 

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Jeff Tompkins said:
Haircuts are not permanent. My hair will grow back. Theoretically....
Ever see that episode of "Seinfeld" where Elaine dates a guy who'd begun shaving his head years before, and she talks him into letting it grow, and they find out he'd developed male pattern baldness in the interim but didn't know it?

;D ;D ;D
 

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I actually cut DH's hair (and I've cut nephew's hair and I do FIL's hair).  It's a lot cheaper for us.  DH was paying $10 every 2 wks for a haircut and we bought a $30 trimmer set.  My bro taught me how and I've gotten haircuts (on adults who don't run away from clippers) down to 10 mins (although it takes longer to clean up b/c both DH and FIL are part time werewolves).  I have a bro who cuts his own hair, but he isn't the brightest bulb.
 

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Your story is hilarious and entertaining, thanks for sharing it with us.  I used to cut my son's hair, but when he got married I was glad that job got passed on to his wife, I don't miss it at all.
 

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Jeff:  Your story reminds me of a haircutting job I did on my sister-in-law many years ago.  Kate had liked the way I cut my daughter's hair and begged me several times to cut hers.  I refused many times before she wore me down.  Well, I had the same problem that you did--going side to side trying to match the sides until I cut too much off.  When Kate saw the results, she would have liked to kill me but couldn't say a word because she had insisted I cut her hair although I had refused many times.  Of course we laugh about it now.
 

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OMG, I hope your hair returns to normal.  I am sure it will, eventually.  I can understand not wanting to get it cut, though.  I am extremely ticklish on the back of my neck and those clippers they use are like torture.  Plus, I am not comfortable with all of the hair-dresser chit-chat that they want to do. Just cut my hair!
 

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Jeff, there's actually at least one excellent illustrated book that's been created to instruct people on how to cut their own hair or that of others, with only a good pair of scissors and a comb. I found it listed in a Whole Earth Catalog in the 1980s, ordered it, learned, and have been cutting my hair ever since with very few problems. Prior to that though, I had major mishaps too.

I no longer possess the book, having given it away to help others after I learned what I needed. I likewise gave away the Whole Earth Catalog. So I can't give you the title. But with a little searching you should be able to find it or a suitable replacement.
 

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I've been cutting my husband's hair for years BUT he just gets a military buzz cut. I've had to teach myself blending and shading a bit when he needs less of a nearly-bald look, but that's it.  Saves us about $200 a year.
 

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I've been cutting my own hair for years. Whenever I had it done professionally I always had to fix something that wasn't right, and I just eventually started doing it myself. I also condition, highlight and relax my own hair. When I was a stay-at-home-mom I also cut my kids' and DH's hair.

Now Yogi is a different story. I've trimmed the hair over his eyes, but it's really hard. He has so much hair!
 

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I've been cutting my own hair for 10 years. I use balding clippers. I'll never go bald, my baldness is artificial. It cheaper than letting it grow & cutting every two weeks.
 
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